Training Seven!

Whew...we only have 3 left!!!! We are defininitely moving toward the finish line :) The boys were staying here with a babysitter so they could still get to bed on time, but she got a job (Praise God!) so she can't watch them anymore, and unfortunately we don't have any family here, so that means they are coming with us till the end! The meetings are at the YMCA so they go in the play area and have a blast. The only downfall is that the meetings last until 9:00pm and then by the time we get home, pj's, teeth brushed, etc it's almost 9:45. A. always needs some time to unwind, so it was probably 10:15 before he went to sleep! Today should be fun!

Tonight's training was about keeping birthfamily connections and how that take shape. Besides the kids leaving our home after being with us for awhile, I think working with the birthfamilies has the potential to be the second difficulty. I think that for some families it will be rewarding to help them get their kids back but for those where I know that the child has been abused, etc it's going to be difficult to want to encourage those connections. Something I need to be in prayer about for sure!!

The trainers also passed around someone's lifebook (a family no one knows). They encourage us to create lifebooks (doesn't have to be fancy) for each child that come through our home. A lifebook chronicles a child's life before finding their forever family. I have created lifebooks for each our children and although our foster children's won't be as pretty or detailed, it will be a piece of them that they will need/want to know when they get older. I highly recommend the book "Before you were mine" by Susan TeBos and Carissa Woodwyk. The lifebook they passed around was basically some pictures in a book (more of a photo album) but I hope that I will be able to add narration about them and as much detail as possible to fill in any holes for them, especially since we will have the little ones and they won't be able to remember us or that time of their life.

Training Number Five!

WE ARE 1/2 WAY DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last night we had to go an hour early for the pool safety class because we have a pool near our home. I can't say that I learned anything new, but one more thing to check off the list. Once again we were blessed last night with the replacement trainer :) I learn so much better from him. Last night started the 2 week discussion on behavior. Last night's topic was mostly about coercives and how we get children (or adults!) to do what we want them to do. This is something that is used in "reactive parenting." The goal of course is to be a pro-active parent and stop problems before they start. More on that next week :) It is always good to get new ideas on how to parent our kids better...not only foster kids, but of course all of that was good for our kids too :) So much of what we do as parents (even coercives) come from what our parents taught us (inadvertently of course!)

I just had the realization that tomorrow starts the 3 week Saturday course that I have to attend on "behavior analyst" training. Ohh.....I am tired-LOL! 4 hours on a Saturday! I really hope this is some good information! We still have some paperwork to complete, but that pile is slowly going away-YAY!!! We have our second homestudy visit on Monday as well! Somewhere in there I need to figure out when to get groceries, go to Sam's Club, clean my house, etc! "It's gonna be worth it" is my motto lately!!!

Training three...

Moving right along....tonight was interesting because we talked a lot about loss and grieving and what that looks like in our own lives, and then how that manifests in children. Our trainer was talking about how with each horrible experience that happens to a child (while still with their birthfamily) a hole is created and they come to you with "holes" that need to filled up. We try as foster parents to close up or fill up those holes with love, comfort, affection, etc and just when they begin to trust you, someone(could be a family member or friend) knocks them off that ladder that they just started to climb. Every situation is different and every child will have different needs and those needs will have to be responded to in different ways.

For the next week we need to get things notarized, complete our radon test, and get fingerprinted, oh... and more homework..gotta love it right? Man...I thought adoption had a lot of steps and "stuff" to complete, but that is a piece of cake compared to all this stuff!! LOL!!!

Training number two!

So this past week's training was a bit more interesting but definitely more draining! It is really interesting to see the the variety of people in the training and how we all react differently to the situations/content presented. For those of us with kids it is totally different than for those without kids. It is even more so for us since our children are adopted. A video was shown that was mostly text but with the sweetest child's voice saying things that broke my heart. She spoke of going to visit her birthmother and upon returning to her foster family she wet the bed for days from her anxiety about that...pulling her hair out...not knowing who she would go with when (FDS, care manager, foster mom, birth mom, who?) There are a couple of us in there with small children and we were all teary when the video was over. It is so difficult to ever imagine that our children would be taken from us and that is what they would go through. Who wants to think of their child being alone, scared, and hopeless? At the same time, it is important that we "feel" so that we understand what the birthparents are going through. We also went through an exercise that made it very real to all of us that particular stressors in our lives could land us in that position. Not every situation is full of abuse or neglect. Sometimes people lose their job, can't pay the bills or put food on the table and "accidently" take that anger out on whoever is closest..a child? :(

This MAPP training is definitely eye-opening and yet very difficult! I am so grateful that our county requires this 30+ process to prepare us for foster parenting. Many counties across the country require no such training and the foster parents are "thrown in" with very little preparation as to how to deal with such issues. It's hard but WORTH IT! Seeing that video really made it real and makes me want to provide a safe, loving and protective environment for children even more!

Training Number one!

Last night was our first night of training. I think it is going to be a very interesting class not only because of the content, but also because of our trainer! LOL! She's quite...how do I say it?...energtic but abrasive and Mr. M called her bossy-LOL! The first night was pretty much getting to know everyone. We had to play a game where everyone got a card with a situation on it and you were either the foster parent looking for a particular child, or visa versa. We had to walk around the room and try to find our best possible match. I unfortunately got the card that said "I am a 15 year old girl who is looking for an adoptive family who doesn't mind that I am sexually active." Yeah..that was fun walking up to strangers and saying that-LOL!!!

We have homework every as well and we got a HUGE stack of paperwork to fill out...well Iwill be filling most of it out, except for the papers marked specifically for Mr. M :)! So...that is what will be occupying most of my time for the next two weeks. The kids have to draw pictures including a foster child in the family. The boys have already done this and I dictated what each of them wants to teach the baby :) A. wants to teach the baby to crawl, how to play video games, and how to walk on it's feet. I. wants to teach the baby the monster dance and he wants to rock the baby and change it's diaper :)

One down 9 to go! :)