Good stuff!!

(Stealing this from you PotterMama :) )


"I will never forget seeing her pull the measuring tape out of her purse as she talked about the skull of her child.
The woman, standing in an airport in Russia with my wife and me, was, like us, an American. She, like us, was in the former Soviet Union to pursue adoption. But she was worried. She had heard “horror stories” about fetal alcohol syndrome and various other nightmares. She said that the measuring tape was for gauging the size of the craniums of her potential children, to “make sure there’s nothing wrong with them.”
The reason I think about this conversation so much these days is because I am finding—more and more often—that one of the primary obstacles for Christians in advocating for the fatherless can be summed up right there in that measuring tape: the issue of fear. As much as we might not want to admit it, many of us don’t think much about orphans because, frankly, we’re scared of them.
Orphans are unpredictable. Often we don’t know where they’ve come from, what kind of genetic maladies and urges lie dormant somewhere in those genes. Moreover, in virtually every situation of fatherlessness, there is some kind of tragedy: a divorce, a suicide, a rape, a drug overdose, a disease, a drought, a civil war, and on and on. We’d rather not think about such things, and we’re afraid often of what kind of lasting mark they leave on their victims.
Those of us who know Christ ought to recognize that fear is often a deterrent to justice, a deterrent that has been indicted, crucified, and buried in the triumph of Jesus. In Jesus’ story of the so-called “good Samaritan,” after all, Jesus presents us with a man who “fell among robbers” and was beaten, nearly to death (Lk. 10:30). With little commentary on why, Jesus tells us, simply, that two passers-by, both religious officials, moved on to the other side, to avoid the wounded man (Lk. 10:31-32).
While many have speculated that there might have been theological reasons behind their neglect (the fear of becoming ceremonially unclean from touching a corpse), the most compelling reason I’ve ever heard was from Martin Luther King, Jr., who wondered whether the passers-by were simply afraid.
After all, there were no streetlights on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho—the setting of this story. There was no police force. A man beaten by terrorists is a good signal that the evildoers are still about, perhaps hiding in the caves along the roadside, lying in wait for their next victim. Moving on along, quickly and quietly, probably just seemed like prudence.
But Jesus never was one for justification by prudence alone. He praised a Samaritan—a reviled outcast from the official religious structures—for the compassion he demonstrated toward this man. And the compassion Jesus commended—and commanded from us in imitation—wasn’t mere charity. The Samaritan didn’t simply help the beaten man; he gave him his own animal, set him up in an inn, and paid for all his expenses for his ongoing care (Lk. 10:34-35). Any Israelite hearing this account would have seen immediately what was going on. The Samaritan was treating the beaten man like family.
Right now, there is a crisis of fatherlessness all around the world. Chances are, in your community, the foster care system is bulging with children, moving from home to home to home, with no rootedness or permanence in sight. Right now, as you read this, children are “aging out” of orphanages around the world. Many of them will spiral downward into the hopelessness of drug addiction, prostitution, or suicide. Children in the Third World are languishing in group-homes, because both parents have died from disease or have been slaughtered in war. The curse is afoot, and it leaves orphans in its wake.
Not every Christian is called to adopt or to foster children. And not every family is equipped to serve every possible scenario of special needs that come along with particular children. Orphan care isn’t easy. Families who care for the least of these must count the cost, and be willing to offer up whatever sacrifice is needed to carry through with their commitments to the children who enter into their lives.
But, while not all of us are called to adopt, the Christian Scriptures tell us that all of us are called to care “widows and orphans in their distress” (Jas. 1:27). All of us are to be conformed to the mission of our Father God, a mission that includes justice for the fatherless (Exod. 22:22; Deut. 10:18; Ps. 10:18; Prov. 23:10-11; Isa. 1:17; Jer. 7:6; Zech. 7:10). As we are conformed to the image of Christ, we share with him his welcoming of the oppressed, the abandoned, the marginalized; we recognize his face in the “least of these,” his little brother and sisters (Matt. 25:40).
The followers of Jesus should fill in the gap left by a contemporary Western consumer culture that extends even to the conception and adoption of children. Who better than those who have been welcomed by Christ to care for the most feared and least sought after of the world’s orphans? After all, who are we, as those who are the invited to Jesus’ wedding feast? We are “the poor and the crippled and the blind and the lame” (Lk. 14:21). Since that is the case, Jesus tells us, we are to model the same kind of risk-taking, unconditional love (Lk. 14:12), the kind that casts out fear.
Yes, orphan care can be risky. Justice for the fatherless will sap far more from us than just the time it takes to advocate. These kids need to be reared, to be taught, to be hugged, to be heard. Children who have been traumatized often need more than we ever expect to give. It is easier to ignore those cries. But love of any kind is risky.
The Gospel means it’s worth it to love, even to the point of shedding your own blood. After all, that’s what made a family for ex-orphans like us."
By Russel D. Moore

Visit

I thought that since our agency was closed for several days this week we might get away with out a visit this week, but his mom called about 3 hours before the usual time and it was going to be "on." For the past year I have sent the communication book with LM every time telling her at least something that happened during the week. She usually writes back chit-chat or tells me something that she would like changed/done. Two weeks ago (before she lost her visit last week) I sent her a Christmas gift and a pleasant note about LM's week. What I got back was "his pants are stupid!"

I really want to be a light and I didn't want to get upset, but she abuses (verbally/emotionally) pretty much everyone that is in her life, and I wanted to let her know that I will not tolerate that and she can't treat me that way. So...I decided to not send the book this week. If she didn't want to use it for what it was designed for, then I won't participate. She really isn't one to realize social cues (at all!) so I really didn't expect that she would "get it."

The CM dropped LM off and the first thing out of her mouth was "the mom was upset you didn't include the book and tell her how him Christmas was." I told her why and she said that mom wrote me a note and she realized that what she wrote was inappropriate and she apologized in the note! Quite surprising let me tell ya! So I will restart the book but be firm and tell her that I won't accept such disrespect and use it for it's purpose.

She sent him many Christmas gifts including clothes....now you ready???? Here's the kicker.....she sent two pairs of JEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I about fell over!!!!!!!!! If you have read for any length of time you know she HATES jeans and has told me over and over to not let him wear them (he does...just not on visit days!)

I was talking with the CM and it looks they are going to head to a TPR consult!! This woman LOVES her son, but she simply is just not emotionally/mentally stable (even if Dad got his act together) to care for a child. Their apt was so filled with smoke that the CM could only stay for a minute....LM is asthmatic!!!!! (The Christmas gifts smelled so bad that I had to give him a nebulizer treatment and I had to take my inhaler because neither of us could breathe). She really needs HELP, but she is still in so much denial about her mental state that she doesn't think she needs any help. In any conversation or note, you can tell she has no steady stream of thought. It's so sad!!! :( She talks daily about leaving LM's dad, but then is back in love an hour later. DRAMA!

I am thankful that LM doesn't have to go through that drama and I am glad that he is in a safe and stable place to grow up :) Nothing is going to happen quickly in regrads to the TPR as it is a "whole process" but I'm getting pretty used to things moving slowly! The next court hearing set is the end of January and I might not be able to go because it's the same time as another very important appt, so maybe God doesn't want me there for a reason??? LM is in his hands and I have nothing to worry about! :-)

It's time!

Little Man is getting to that point where he is able to get disciplined for his actions! Whew! This child has an attitude and has no problem displaying it to anyone who would like to see it-lol! He has the language to express simple needs/wants and rather than using them he tends to scream and throw a fit. So...this past weekend Mr. M and I started "You fit..you sit!" It's not really a time-out \, but rather if he wants to throw a fit, that's fine, but we aren't going to listen to it (ok..we're kind of forced to, but we don't give it any attention). The first time we put him on the spot we told him when he was all done crying he could get up. We really expected him to get up a few times, but he just sat there! :) We went about our business and he stopped crying and got up and played. He did it several more times over the weekend, but he understands, sits, stops crying and gets up. The time he spends on his crying efforts are getting shorter each time. Yay!

He also has this stubbornness in him where he wants to get up on the couch (he can do this all by himself but prefers to be lifted up because it's easier!) and rather than saying "up" or "please" he just screams at you. Well....not gonna work here! We told him "no whining...use your words. Say "up please" and he calmed down quickly and said the words. Yay!!! The next time he whined again and we just had to say "use your words" and he did. So....thank God for less screaming!!! We jokingly call him Baby Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! He can go from total tantrum screaming to giggling in a second!

If you haven't read the book "Loving your kid's on purpose" by Danny Silk I highly recommend it! One example in particular that stands out in this case is "fun or room?" If you want to be fun you can stay here and play or if you want to be crabby you can go to your room. I think "You fit you sit?" will turn into that when he can open his door! lol! Lots of great stuff in that book...I think it's time for a re-read for me too :)

Merry CHRISTmas!!

Merry Christmas to all of you!!! We have been so blessed with a wonderful year and a whole year with Little Man! Yesterday we decided to bless the firefighters who have to work on Christmas Eve/Christmas with some homemade goodies. They invited us in to look at the truck/ambulance and all the kids were THRILLED! Little Man just stood there for awhile and then throughly enjoyed driving the fire truck! He didn't even flinch when they set the sirens off! LOL!

Little Man loved the presents this morning, but he tended to get fixed on one present and we had to urge him to open another one! At the end all the presents were open except for some 5 of his! Mr. A and Mr. I were more than happy to help him!

This is somewhat bittersweet...we are so happy that he is here with us celebrating, but I keep thinking of his birthmom who is sitting at home missing her baby boy today (not to mention her other kids too...one of which this will be her first Christmas!). She doesn't have any family around and I can just imagine how truly lonely she is feeling today :( Truly praying for some incredible life change for her...there is HOPE and His name is Jesus! The reason we celebrate today!

Not as planned

Court didn't go so well today :( Mom and Dad didn't show up again in person (more excuses) but Mom did appear by phone. She acted so incredibly inappropriate to the judge and would not stop ranting and interrupting that the judge said if she was in court she would be in cuffs and since she was on the phone she was going to hang up if she interrupted one more time. She did. Goodbye! So...this is the THIRD continuation since the end of October just to try and get a JR done! Grrr....January 24th is our next time in court. This judge is actually moving to another area, but she noted that she wants to keep our case. I can't imagine having to start all over with another judge so that is good news!

Little Man was scheduled for a visit with Mom today, but because of her actions in court the judge demanded she be drug screened today and the GAL's attorney suggested that the visit be cancelled because Little Man doesn't need to see her so unstable. It makes me sad...I wish I could peel the layers off her eyes so she could see the damage, but I can't :(

We may lose yet another case manager because this Mom has pushed this one to the brink in a mere month and 1/2! The way she acted in court is what this CM deals with daily. Oh Lord please bring this case to end SOON!!!

Busch Gardens!

Today we went to Busch Gardens! We were given 5 free tickets from our licensing agency and off we went! This is Little Man on a zebra on the mini-carousel ride. He loved it :) It was a very cold morning to start, but warmed up nicely. He did great the whole day and didn't even fuss at having to spend lots of time in the stroller! He loved the "aminals" as he called them and FLIPPED out when he saw the Elmo show. I have a great pic of my husband holding him and he has this horrible "boo-boo" face (as we call it) because he couldn't go dance with Elmo on stage! Too fun!!!

Blessed Abundantly!

Little Man was blessed by the Foster Angels with all of these goodies!!!! In the past there have been certain restrictions, but this year they wanted every single child in foster care (traditional, relative, etc) to have an abundant Christmas! I was expecting maybe 3-4 toys, but they gave him so much! Of course he is MOST excited about the Elmo ride-on toy. No, I didn't give him the gifts, but he had to come with me to pick them up so he kinda saw. I've already hid it and he'll forget about it for a week! LOL!