Friday, December 30, 2011

Crazy visit day

So I am in the middle of a packing mess! I packed baby's bag for a visit today and absentmindedly forgot the formula. He usually only has 3 a day now (6-8 oz)..morning, mid-day and night. Of course I didn't realize this happened until bio-dad texted me. I told him the type of formula and perhaps he could go to the store and buy a small can. Of course realistically I didn't expect that and just figured baby would wait till he got home. I was wrong....

A bit later I got 2 very random weird sounding texts that I couldn't even understand. HUH? Something about baby being sick. I told him that no, he wasn't sick he is teething (terribly!! we were up all night). Ok...then I get something that said he was grateful that we were good people. Ok :)

When Baby got home he was miserable from his teeth and the CM said that dad said the visit should have been cancelled. I guess that hit a bit of a nerve because I kinda went off on the CM a bit. I told her that he is not sick, he is teething and that's what being a parent is all about....the good, the bad and the ugly. Teething is definitely the ugly, I get that, but he should experience it all :) Maybe I'm a bit feisty from being up all night...maybe I wanted a break...just being real here!

Then I unpack baby's bag...remember he didn't get the formula, or the water?? was some nasty red gatorade in the baby's cup! :( Yuck...we tend to stay away from all things fake and artificial and that's just gross for a baby to drink. It at least could have been apple juice. Just sayin! Just for the record, baby was fine and didn't even want the bottle because it hurts him to suck :(

So the afternoon continues and baby needs a diaper change. I take off his pants to discover that dad put his diaper on BACKWARDS!!!! WHAT???? Baby is almost 11 months old and he has never done this before. Weird! I'm not sure if "something" was going on or if he was just frazzled from having to deal with a fussy baby. Hmmmm......

So that was our visit experience today. You better believe that I won't forget the formula ever again...well for the month he's left on it. Next week's visit will probably be a day or two before we move. I have a stack of papers to fill out for getting the new home licensed. Yes...I have 48 hours to get all of it done after we move in. That includes a health inspection and a social worker visit and some more paperwork she will bring with her. As if moving isn't enough!

Ok....I will stop whining now, pull up my big girl panties and move on! :)

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Baby went back to the pulmonologist yesterday and when the Dr. listen he said he sounded GREAT! I was so excited to hear that after all that we have been through with his RSV. The Dr. then mentioned that kids who have been hospitalized with RSV have a much higher chance of developing asthma due to it. Couple that with the original reasons we are seeing him and baby is now being put on a very low dose inhaler. 2 puffs once a day. Let me tell you...I LOVE THIS THING!! If you have ever had to use a nebulizer, you know just how crazy long they take. I was so excited to get a little contraption that is a holding chamber for the "puff" and then baby just takes 5-6 breaths. 1 min break. Do it again and DONE!! He also gave me albuterol in the same form for "as needed" issues that arise. Ummm....I really wish they would have given this to me SOONER!! :)

Monday, December 26, 2011


Wow...all those feelings of Baby's aunt calling and wanting him on Christmas were for NOTHING! :) Not only did she not ever call the case manager to ask permission, she didn't call me (totally expected this) yesterday to ask for his visit.

Baby's Dad was going to have a visit last week but then due to his illness Dad said he could just stay here and heal. They had a visit all set up for this Wed. I got a text yesterday saying he all the sudden had to leave town. Hmmm.....When I asked what the emergency was he said that it was his mother's 85th birthday. Something doesn't add up. You don't suddenly leave town for a birthday that has been the same day every year for the past 85 years-lol! Now he says he won't be back until Jan. 3rd. Ok...whatever! :) This has been an ongoing "thing." He says he's going out of town, but he doesn't. Sigh.....

I had a dream last night that I got a text from Baby's dad that said he loved him very much but couldn't care for him and would be adopt him. Ohhh...I am praying that's prophetic and really happens!! :) It would make the upcoming months so much easier :) Easy and foster care aren't words you really put together though-lol!

Little Man's (His nickname here is Moose so that's what I am going to start calling him in blogland too!) bio-mom keeps emailing me and asking me to call her and tell Moose that she loves him and show him her (weird) pictures she sends me, etc. I had to stop responding...she's wearing me out!!!! The last thing that sent me over a bit was when I saw her myspace page. about living in the past. The whole thing is about Moose. She listed him as her occupation, the title of her page and in her "blurb" it's all about how she is second and she puts him first. Hmmm...really? The only cool part was that she has a few (blurry) pictures of Moose when he was really little. He was soooo pudgy even from the very start! It makes me wonder...why him??? She has 2 other children that she has given birth to and NO mention of them, no pictures, etc. Why Moosie??? Why do we get to deal with her?? LOL!!

Anyway....Christmas was wonderful celebrating Christ's birth :) Baby could have cared less about the presents...all he wanted to do was roll around in the wrapping paper!! LOL!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I had no idea...

Wow...after several more emails and some questioning of bio-mom I found out some pretty disturbing things. Wow...thank you God for saving Little Man from that life and potential harm both physically and emotionally. SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR!!


So Little Man's bio mom has been emailing a lot again and she just emailed me a picture of his biological sister. She and little Man could be twins...seriously!!! They look exactly alike!! Little P. was adopted at birth by a family in another state. Bio-mom also has a son (9 yrs old) that lives in her state.

All of my children have biological siblings...somewhere! Some I know about and I bet there are more I have no idea about.


How have you all addressed this issue in your families?? All the bio-siblings I know about are all adopted by other families and not with the bio-parents. Have you asked bio-parents for info (email/phone) to connect with them? How have you talked with your children about this? At what age? I know just by looking at my kids which ones will be ready for this information before others.

Little Man's bio-mom wants me to call her on Christmas...whew...gonna have to pray about that one!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Baby had his follow up appt today and the Dr. said he sound GREAT! She thought he just had a treatment when in fact it was 4 hours ago, so WONDERFUL news!! She wants us to space them to 6-8 hours now. NO PROBLEM!! :)

Little Man's stitches also came out today. He was such a big boy while she was snipping and pulling them out. He cried when she was done-LOL!! A lollipop made everything better and other than a cushion bandage for a few more days he is good to go!

Now...I would really appreciate it God if we could stay OUT of the hospital for a bit!!

A couple of things I forgot.....

1) Friday morning when we were admitted I just happened to put on my licensing agency t-shirt. God sure got some attention! I've never had so many inquiries about foster care! Praise God :)

2) A nurse actually asked me how my pregnancy with Baby was. Ummmm....I am super pasty white (even though I live in a state that sees a lot of sun!) and Baby is dark chocolate! LOL! I laughed out loud because I thought she was kidding...she wasn't! lol!! I composed myself and said that I was his foster mother and did not give birth to him :-) A little humor in a tense situation-hee hee!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Ready for things to slow down already!

Friday morning I woke and baby just sounded horrible. The meds he was on had not made a dent in how he was feeling or sounding so I planned on taking him in again. I called the Dr. and she just happened to be out sick so I told the nurse that his RR was 70 (for a boy his age it should be between 30 and 40 typically). She recommended we head to the ER. I called hubby home from work and took him in.

The nurse was really snotty with me about his condition saying that no child gets like this acutely unless there was trigger (her suggestion was a live Christmas tree). I insisted there was nothing new and she continued with her comments. Whatever! The dr. came in and said that he wanted a chest x-ray and RSV / flu test. A bit later it came back that sweet baby had RSV and was given some super strong meds. After one treatment his pulsox was still 89-90 so he said he's have to admit him.

I called my hubby and was not very pleased, but neither was I! We rearranged our weekend and plans completely. It was a lllloooonnnggg 3 days of treatments every 2-4 hours and we became good friends with the suction machine and percussor! I was practically begging the nurse to get me out of there!!! I had about 1-2 hours of sleep each night and we couldn't leave the room because he was contagious. For this Momma of 4 who is constantly moving, sitting in a small room was torture! lol! I thought my arms were going to fall off as well from holding baby 24/7! Time to get back to the gym for sure :)

At 5:00pm last night we were released. I told baby we were going home and he raised his little IV'd arm and said "Pay Gah!" (Praise God!) Soooooo sweet!!! Today he continues to sleep a lot and is very whiny and only wants to be held. I can totally understand, but I am grateful that there is another set of arms to take him :)

Due to all of this I missed the pick up for the foster angel gifts so our wonderful social worker picked them up for me today. They have been so blessed once again this year, although I'm not quite sure baby is going to be so interested in the High School Musical remix-lol! Maybe we can bless someone else with that!

I was pleasantly surprised that Baby's dad realized the situation for what it is and agreed to delay a visit (even on Christmas week) so baby can heal. What a contrast to our other case where the child's needs were not thought of first (by the birthparents).

So that's us...we are trying to catch up and finish things up for the holidays. :) So excited to see Baby on his first Christmas :)

Monday, December 12, 2011

The rest of us...

Baby and Little Man have had terrible colds that they seem to just keeping passing back and forth for the past month. Well last week the 2 older boys joined in and yesterday so did I!! Didn't this stinkin' cold get the message that I have a TON of stuff on my plate this month and this is a really bad time to feel so unproductive!!!!! I have become a disinfecting crazy germ lady!! This must go!!!! Baby is back on regular nebulizer treatments every 4 hours and additionally is cutting his top two teeth. Yeah...sleep....what's that???

I am praying that things slow down a bit so we can enjoy the Christmas season without all this junk!

I texted Baby's Dad to let him know Baby was sick again and the texts he sends back are so sweet. He keeps on thanking me for all we are doing for his son and I think he realizes now just how much we truly do love sweet Baby!!! No news from the CM about aunt calling her. I'm not sure if she has or not. This is the problem with Aunt...she's a whole lotta talk and no action! I'm ok with that this time though-lol! So when she calls on Christmas to see when she can pick up baby I will have to say that she didn't clear things with the CM so he can't go anywhere! She really can't wait to the last minute with this CM because she is NOT good at communication. I can see Aunt calling for approval next Friday (23rd). Yep...that will mean she doesn't get a response!


Whew...Friday was such a high!!!! Now we are already for court again tomorrow!! The MBI should be pretty straight forward as there are no family members that can care for him and we have had him for so long! :) Praying for a quick hearing and moving on to ADOPTION!!!!

Onto a story.....

Saturday evening everything was going as our Sat. evenings usually do. Minutes later a shrill scream of "MMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!" The tip of Little Man's pinky finger was smashed in the door!!! I opened it quickly and realized that the finger was almost severed. It was holding on by a tiny bit on the bottom. Oh the blood!!! I do not do well with blood whatsoever!!!! I was freaking out and yelling for "A" to get me the phone. Hubby doesn't carry a cell phone and had just left work so I knew he was about 25 min. out. That wasn't going to work! I called our stand-in Nana to come over and I rushed him to the hospital.

I was AMAZED at his calmness in the ER. He didn't cry and after a few minutes he didn't even want to be held. He walked around and charmed people as usual! He was dancing and singing for the nurses :)

The only part he cried about was the shot to numb it, but that was all. They put him in a restraint called a Papoose to keep him from moving and messing with what they were doing. He loves to be sung to so I asked him what he wanted to sing and he said "Jesus Loves Me" I sucked it up for my boy and sang in front of strangers! Much to my surprise not only did Little Man join in singing, so did the doctor and his nurse!!! Jesus was there with my boy fixing his finger :)

They had to put in 4 stitches but it looks like his finger! They warned me that sometimes they can't get it perfect and it ends up a bit crooked :( Praise God they were able to stitch it up nice :) He is doing pretty well with it except he hasn't accepted the fact her can't use it like he usually does. The bandage has come off a few times because he (of course!) insists on being independent and doing things himself. We are just so thankful that he is going to be fine, should have normal usage and our God protected him from total severation!!

This too shall pass/heal....I guess the enemy wasn't as happy about Friday's news as we were huh?! No weapon formed against us shall remain!!!

Friday, December 9, 2011

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our sweet Little Man has officially be FREED!!!!! His birthmom did not show up in court today which automatically had them terminate!! The MBI is usually set for 30 days after the termination date, but the judge said "this case has gone on long enough!" She set the MBI for NEXT WEEK Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's just 4DAYS after termination!! OH HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!! There just aren't enough exclamation points to show how excited to are!!!!!!

It's so sweet....he is up in his room for naptime and I can hear him over the monitor saying "I'm free and ready to be a_________ (insert our last name) Hallelujah!!!!"

I have so many feelings right now...excitement, joy, thankfulness, amazement, but at the same time I feel sad for his birthmom. Sad that she made the choices she made causing her the pain she is feeling right now, sad that she is mourning not getting to be his momma (don't get me wrong...she gave him life and will always be his biological mother, but never Mommy), sad that she has now lost her 4th child. It's easy to be mad at her and the choices she made, but that's not what God wants. God wants me to LOVE her. How that love will look over the years..I am not all that sure yet. I do know that she will be getting a special Bible from Little Man for Christmas because she needs Jesus most of all!!! Maybe my sweet son will be the one who brings his birthmom to Christ!

Crazy joy has now been taken over by thankful tears.......

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Little Man's visit

Today was Little Man's CM's monthly visit. Everything went fine and all the kids show off a bit and they have fun with him. As he was filling out his paperwork the last question he always asks is "Is there anything you need?" Usually my answer is "no" but today I enthusiastically said "A signed court order for termination of rights!" :-)

TOMORROW will be a game changing day!!! Rak Chazak!!! (See the War Cry post :) ) I'm white-knuckled for my boy!!! The warfare in my home is very real this week....whoa!!! I have asked more than once who these children are?! All 6 of us are sick in some way or another and yesterday my back totally clenched up and I could barely walk/bend over/lift baby. It's all good though because I know I am fighting FROM victory and FREEDOM is coming for my boy!!!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Thank you Jesus!

Baby's CM had not returned my email/phone call, so I was glad that she stayed after baby's visit to do her visit :) We talked about it and the aunt has not called her yet. I pleaded my case for baby and she sees how he jumps from her arms to mine when he gets home and he sees her every week! I am confident she will suggest **no** overnight visits at this time, but start with shorter visits. She also was surprised she showed up from nowhere and asked to have him on Christmas! Ahhh....this along with other good news today has made me a happy lady!!!

A War Cry

Getting ready for Friday!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Gotta stop answering the phone!

Today another phone call came. This time it was baby's biological aunt (maternal). If you remember, he was having random visits with his siblings (2 of them live with her) back near the beginning of this case, but hasn't had a visit since June-ish. She called wanting to reconnect and needed the new CM's phone number. She asked me for an overnight visit with baby from Christmas Eve to Christmas night!!!!!!!! She asked if I minded.

So much was running through my mind, but I told her that I would really like him for Christmas morning. She said that Christmas evening overnight to the next day would be ok. UGH!!! I really don't like that she just shows up again because it's the holidays. That's so not fair to baby!!! So he has not seen her in nearly 6 months and now he has to go for an overnight :(

I emailed the case worker and warned her this lady would be calling. I told her that I would really prefer a day visit or at least a playdate or two BEFORE any overnight visits because it's so scary for a baby to go strangers, especially when he's becoming very aware of people he knows vs those he doesn't.

I will wait to hear from the worker today and go from there.....I also do not know what time bio-dad will get with him on the holidays as well. I am all for keeping family connections, but it's just all too convenient for her to be around at the holidays and nothing in between. We'll she if her interest continues after the new year.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Surprise phone call

The other day (Thur) I got a phone call out of the blue from our last respite placement's foster mom. I was surprised and asked how Butterball was doing :) I was pleased to here he's doing well and almost crawling on all 4's! She then went on to explain that he was a temp. placement with her and was supposed to go live with a relative this week. She found out that morning that he would NOT being going to live with this relative.

Enter her question.....could you take him back as a permanent placement??? heart rejoiced and sank at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would LOVE to take this sweet this boy back......BUT one thing that foster care has taught me is to know my limitations! I told her I would talk to hubby and pray about it, but that I think the answer is no. I know that many people easily do "twins" which is what it essentially would be, however, I have my other boys to consider as well. Logistically we simply don't have the room in our house or our car! lol! We are moving in a month+ and I have an entire house to pack. Sigh...not good timing :(

When I prayed I felt a peace at saying "no" because I really think it's the right thing to do at this point, but I am really praying he finds a permanent placement where his little heart can be nurtured and loved :)

(Just for the record, his current placement can't keep him b/c in addition to him she has a 2 month old and a 1 yr old. Her husband, who helps her pull all this off, is out with a bad back and shingles and it's just too much for her to handle alone! )

Thursday, December 1, 2011

No trial!

So I finally got an answer that in fact trial will NOT be next Friday :( The GAL was right when she said it's called a "trial call." Basically if bio-mom shows up then they will set an official trial date. If she does not show up then they will CLOSE!!!!! So....if she manages to come from out of state (which she stated in open court that it was impossible for her to get here) for the trial call, then she will have to stay here or return again for the actual trial date to appear in person (whenever that would be!!)

Hmmm....she all of the sudden has dropped off the face of the earth with communication again. I wonder what is going to happen next week???????? Pre-trial was today and from what I have heard, nothing happened :)


Today marks the 2 year "anniversary" of when Little Man was dropped off at our door!!! I remember that day as though it were yesterday! He loved looking at the Christmas tree and we got to see his sweet smile for the first time when he saw his reflection in a red bulb :) I cherish the very first picture of my children surrounding his car seat and smiling at this new adventure!

We have been foster parents for 2 years. We have had 2 placements in that entire time. Not at all what we had "planned" but of course we love God's plan for our family better!! There is court today...pre-trial. There has been some talk about next Friday NOT being the actual trial and I will FLIP if this is true :( We continue to walk forward as God has planned, but doing it with a happy heart has been my challenge-lol! I'm a work in progress ok? :)

I can't imagine our lives without our spunky, sassy little 2 year old who continues to challenge me in parenting. Thanks for making me a better momma Little Man :)!