I thought that since our agency was closed for several days this week we might get away with out a visit this week, but his mom called about 3 hours before the usual time and it was going to be "on." For the past year I have sent the communication book with LM every time telling her at least something that happened during the week. She usually writes back chit-chat or tells me something that she would like changed/done. Two weeks ago (before she lost her visit last week) I sent her a Christmas gift and a pleasant note about LM's week. What I got back was "his pants are stupid!"
I really want to be a light and I didn't want to get upset, but she abuses (verbally/emotionally) pretty much everyone that is in her life, and I wanted to let her know that I will not tolerate that and she can't treat me that way. So...I decided to not send the book this week. If she didn't want to use it for what it was designed for, then I won't participate. She really isn't one to realize social cues (at all!) so I really didn't expect that she would "get it."
The CM dropped LM off and the first thing out of her mouth was "the mom was upset you didn't include the book and tell her how him Christmas was." I told her why and she said that mom wrote me a note and she realized that what she wrote was inappropriate and she apologized in the note! Quite surprising let me tell ya! So I will restart the book but be firm and tell her that I won't accept such disrespect and use it for it's purpose.
She sent him many Christmas gifts including clothes....now you ready???? Here's the kicker.....she sent two pairs of JEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I about fell over!!!!!!!!! If you have read for any length of time you know she HATES jeans and has told me over and over to not let him wear them (he does...just not on visit days!)
I was talking with the CM and it looks they are going to head to a TPR consult!! This woman LOVES her son, but she simply is just not emotionally/mentally stable (even if Dad got his act together) to care for a child. Their apt was so filled with smoke that the CM could only stay for a minute....LM is asthmatic!!!!! (The Christmas gifts smelled so bad that I had to give him a nebulizer treatment and I had to take my inhaler because neither of us could breathe). She really needs HELP, but she is still in so much denial about her mental state that she doesn't think she needs any help. In any conversation or note, you can tell she has no steady stream of thought. It's so sad!!! :( She talks daily about leaving LM's dad, but then is back in love an hour later. DRAMA!
I am thankful that LM doesn't have to go through that drama and I am glad that he is in a safe and stable place to grow up :) Nothing is going to happen quickly in regrads to the TPR as it is a "whole process" but I'm getting pretty used to things moving slowly! The next court hearing set is the end of January and I might not be able to go because it's the same time as another very important appt, so maybe God doesn't want me there for a reason??? LM is in his hands and I have nothing to worry about! :-)