Friday, October 2, 2009

Training eight

ALMOST DONE!!!! I'm not sure what it was, but last night was the longest training ever! I know I wasn't the only one...the women's bathroom at the break was all abuzz about how terribly dry this class was :( Tonight's topic was about helping the children transition out of foster care and how that loss could affect them. The material was good actually, it was the presentation that lacked affect :( Both Mr. M and I have considered how hard it is going to be for them to leave us, but it was interesting to see the perspective of the child in that situation whether it is going back to birthfamily or a new adoptive home. We discussed what our responsibilities as foster parents are in each of these situations.

We got home about 9:30, and after a snack (A. requested peas! LOL! what 5yo asks for a bowls of peas??? LOL!) so once again the boys didn't get to bed until about 9:45 :( I. was up at about 7:00 and A. is still sleeping as I type! Yay! I'm expecting another long day of tired kids, but the light is in view!!! Next week is our last class at the YMCA and then the following week we have class at our individual agencies and then we are DONE!!! I spoke to our FDS yesterday and we are done with our responsibilities for paperwork and we just need a few small things like buying a fire extinguisher and getting our health inspection! When this process is done we need to have some sort of celebration!!!!!

1 comment:

Mandy said...

Mrs. M--

I can not sugar coat it--it is hard letting them leave. We have had 8 leave our house. The first 4 went back home to mom and dad and by that time we had become good friends with their parent and so we still talk to them frequently and see them often. They are teenagers so it is not odd to open the front door and find them stopping over for a visit. The next 2 that left were a brother and sister and had been in our home for 17 months. Until the very end it was thought that they would be staying with us forever and we would be adopting them. The courts decided to give mom and dad another chance. The kids still called us for awhile until there were problems and we had to call CPS on their parents. I have cried and cried so many times (and am right now thinking about them) that they are there. It is not so much that they are not with us but that we want them to be in a safe, healthy, happy home and we do not feel that is where they are. Even after almost 11 months I still worry about them every day but I have the comfort of knowing that I helped them prepare to go home while they were still with me--taught them to take care of themselves, how to cook a few meals and make easy/no cook meals for themselves, and taught them what is not safe and how to call for help. The last 2 kids each only spent a night but the first one went to his grandparents who he seemed to not know and was scared about and the other one went to his dad who he had been spending weekends with and that gave us good feelings about it.

The best thing you can do is to build a connection, a friendship, with the birth parents so that you can have that on going connection with the kids. You should never make the parents feel as though you think you are better than they are. As in our first set, their parents have felt comfortable enough to call with questions and wanted us to continue the relationship once the kids were home. Our first set are the kids that I feel we helped the most and helped build their family into a better family unit. When you can work with the parents and you do not put yourself in the place of the enemy then things turn out better.

I know you are planning to do younger kids so it is different as we only do over the age of 3 but that relationship with the parents can really set the tone for a lot of things.

On another note--plan a little celebration for yourselves when you get all of the work done--it is a huge accomplishment. We went out for dinner the night that our license arrived--one last dinner without foster kids who we didn't know how they would do out for dinner in public. I can't wait to hear you have your license--I am so excited for you!