Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A tad tired (warning...a little venting!) :)

A few weeks ago Little Man's transporter asked both the mom and I if we could switch his visit from Wed. to Tues at 10am. We both said that was fine. I verified it with him last week when L.M. was dropped off. Yesterday comes and it's 9:30 (time scheduled to pick up)...9:45...10:00 and no transporter. I called him and asked what was going on and he said that he had double booked and was currently supervising a visit. He called me back a few min. later and asked if he could pick him up at 3:30. Ugh...fine! Little Man got back home at 6:30 last night..had dinner and went to bed. Just a tad tired (this is the 3rd time the transporter has done this me) of my time not being valued and expectations of me being flexible.

So when he got back I read the communication book. If you have been reading my blog for awhile now you know that L.M.'s mom is VERY picky about what he wears (NO jeans...baggy, etc). So..for his b-day back in June she gave him 3 outfits. In order to stop her complaining about what I put on him I only put him in these outfits (rotating them). Yesterday she wrote and asked if he had any other clothes that fit him. Ummm....yes of course he has more than three outfits! I am getting more bold with her about things like this and wrote back to her that I will be more than happy to put other outfits on him, but if she prefers no jeans/baggy only clothes that she will need to supply them and I would be happy to put him in them for his visits. Just a tad tired of being "told" how I need to dress a child in my care. When you have your son back you can dress him how you want to. You kind of lost that right when you made the choices you did. I tried to respect her wishes and it's just frustating she doesn't appreciate it!

So another thing is that they meet at the mall. I have a bag that I send with him and she has placed two small blankets in there for them to sit on (him at least) while they play. A couple of times now she has told me they need to be washed. Umm...ok I did it last time and I will do it once more, but I wrote to her that perhaps next time she could take them with her, wash them, and bring them back. Just a tad tired....I know this seems like a silly little thing..what's the big deal, but all these things add up!

His mom can be a nice lady...really, but she has a big issue of expecting everyone to DO for HER. She wants the state to supply her with a rent free apt, she wants "someone" to get her a job and a car, she wants DCF to supply all the big things like a bed, stroller, etc that she will need. I am all for helping people in need, but I also think they need to learn to look in and do something for YOURSELF for some self-satisfaction. Neither one fo them have actual jobs...their criminal histories make that tough. I have ZERO confidence that the two of them together could at all take care of Little Man's needs. No stable housing...and the kicker is that she thinks she'll have him back for Christmas! Just a tad tired....

All of that to say that I am leaning (more than ever!!) on God to take care of Little Man. I have NO control...court is two weeks away and that will be a pivotal day. If we have to send him back I will be concerned for his health and safety everyday, but at the same time trusting God that He knows what He's doing and will protect Little Man.


Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you found my blog...since you've read mine you should know I understand your frustration.

OMG! Little Man's mother is very bold to say the least, with a very strong sense of entitlement, like most of the birth parents we have to deal with as foster parents.

You are very nice! She wouldn't like me very much. All we can do is keep trusting in God - He has a plan!

Mary H. said...

Sweetie, you are not being picky. If she wants to mother a child it comes with the reasonable things you are asking her to do PLUS a lot more!