Today was the monthly CM visit. I haven't seen her since the bonding assessment report came back. She said that the report was very favorable toward us and basically said he should stay with us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was told that the judge requested to see this report directly and prior to having the necessary hearing.
Rewind about 12 months....we had that modicafication of placement hearing where we thought FOR SURE that he would be leaving us. Well, as you all know he didn't :) What needs to happen from here is that it basically happens again. We have the same "modification of placement" hearing before the same judge and she determines where Choo Choo will live forever!!!
What are we waiting for????
THE JUDGE!!! I thought that the OAG would be scheduling the hearing, but since the report went directly to the judge we wait for her to schedule the hearing!! I am praying this happens before the given estimation of November!
The CM stated that since she thinks the judge will not change Choo Choo's placement (did she really just say that????!!!!) that we will be getting sent to ADOPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have a standard JR hearing on Oct 1st and she thinks that I'll probably get to meet our new worker that day!!!!!
OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course I have a foot in reality that the judge could still rule in the aunt/uncle's favor, but it is looking REALLY good that we will have a 4th FOREVER SON!!!!!
Could the end REALLY be in sight?????
Happy tears!!!!
Sharing the life experience of becoming foster parents to the least of these!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Bonding assessment
It's been awhile since I've posted here.....FB makes things so convenient!
Where we are at in the process
Both bonding assessments have been completed and I finally got the results the other day. It said pretty much what I expected. Choo Choo is comfortable in both environments and would do fine in either placement but that he is more bonded to us. Choo Choo has been visiting with his aunt/uncle for over a year and a half. I would expect him to be comfortable.
Now, we wait for THE court date! At this court hearing (placement hearing) it will be decided. The psychologist will testify as to what she saw and her personal opinion (which was not stated in the report). At this point I would say we and aunt/uncle are on even footing. We have length of time/bonding and they have blood and comfortability. The final decision will be up to the judge that day. I have been told that I may need to get on the stand and testify. I am not looking forward to that part, but I will do whatever it takes. A friend on FB said that he may be fine in either placement, but there is ONE where he will thrive :)
In the next several days 2 friends will be saying goodbye to their long-term placements. They are both believers and have placed these children in His very capable hands, but those mama hearts will be hurting. I don't want to be in their places, but hubby and I are preparing our hearts and believing for a miracle but trusting in God's will at the very same time...whether it hurts or not.
Where we are at in the process
Both bonding assessments have been completed and I finally got the results the other day. It said pretty much what I expected. Choo Choo is comfortable in both environments and would do fine in either placement but that he is more bonded to us. Choo Choo has been visiting with his aunt/uncle for over a year and a half. I would expect him to be comfortable.
Now, we wait for THE court date! At this court hearing (placement hearing) it will be decided. The psychologist will testify as to what she saw and her personal opinion (which was not stated in the report). At this point I would say we and aunt/uncle are on even footing. We have length of time/bonding and they have blood and comfortability. The final decision will be up to the judge that day. I have been told that I may need to get on the stand and testify. I am not looking forward to that part, but I will do whatever it takes. A friend on FB said that he may be fine in either placement, but there is ONE where he will thrive :)
In the next several days 2 friends will be saying goodbye to their long-term placements. They are both believers and have placed these children in His very capable hands, but those mama hearts will be hurting. I don't want to be in their places, but hubby and I are preparing our hearts and believing for a miracle but trusting in God's will at the very same time...whether it hurts or not.
Several friends have been posting this song and it so fits a foster momma's feelings :)
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Names
With all of our children we have changed their names. Little Michael was the only one whose name first name we kept the same. We like biblical and meaningful names for our little ones and thankfully that fit the bill with both :)
Choo Choo is another story. His first and middle names are not anything that we would have chosen. Loooonnngggg ago we had decided on yet another boy name and perhaps we would have named him that if we adopted him way back then, but that name just doesn't fit him now. As a matter of fact for the past year we have thought about not changing his name at all. It is what he knows and I guess it's sorta grown on us.
Until the past couple weeks that is. God has been nudging me to think of a new name for Choo Choo. I think in my mind I have been preparing myself for him to go while in my heart remaining ever hopeful. A self preservation thing if you will. It's a real possibility and I have to prepare myself (and the rest of the family) for that. But God...
Today in church the pastor spoke about Jacob and how he wrestled with God and at the end of that struggle God changed his name. It was a new beginning. God did this many times in the Bible. We are really starting to think about a new name for Choo Choo now. A fresh beginning signifying his new life in a forever family with Christ as the head! Do we know for sure that he will be staying? No. However, if the judge says yes to us and adoption we will be ready and know that we are naming our son what God has willed :)
Oh and in case you are wondering....we have a few ideas but are still praying and waiting to hear from God on what that final verdict will be. :) I have a strong feeling of which one it will be. I can't wait till the day we can share it out loud....actually SCREAM it!!!!
Choo Choo is another story. His first and middle names are not anything that we would have chosen. Loooonnngggg ago we had decided on yet another boy name and perhaps we would have named him that if we adopted him way back then, but that name just doesn't fit him now. As a matter of fact for the past year we have thought about not changing his name at all. It is what he knows and I guess it's sorta grown on us.
Until the past couple weeks that is. God has been nudging me to think of a new name for Choo Choo. I think in my mind I have been preparing myself for him to go while in my heart remaining ever hopeful. A self preservation thing if you will. It's a real possibility and I have to prepare myself (and the rest of the family) for that. But God...
Today in church the pastor spoke about Jacob and how he wrestled with God and at the end of that struggle God changed his name. It was a new beginning. God did this many times in the Bible. We are really starting to think about a new name for Choo Choo now. A fresh beginning signifying his new life in a forever family with Christ as the head! Do we know for sure that he will be staying? No. However, if the judge says yes to us and adoption we will be ready and know that we are naming our son what God has willed :)
Oh and in case you are wondering....we have a few ideas but are still praying and waiting to hear from God on what that final verdict will be. :) I have a strong feeling of which one it will be. I can't wait till the day we can share it out loud....actually SCREAM it!!!!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
FREEDOM!
2 years 5 months and 14 days in our care, but termination of parental rights has FINALLY been achieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Before court the GAL atty came over and told me that bio-dad did not respond to the publication so he will be defaulted today (let me know if you want an explanation on what that means). Unfortunately the GAL couldn't be there today so she will come to court next Tuesday for her testimony for the MBI. I will not need to be there for that one, so that means that the next time I walk into court it will be hear where my baby will be living forever!
Today the GAL atty also filed a motion to use their bonding assessment person and the state finally acquiesced. They have "fit in" there that if they do not agree with the results that a secondary one can be done. Sure! I think any bonding assessment will tell you that he's pretty darn bonded to the people who have been raising him since birth :) I was told that the Dr. should be able to complete the assessment within the next couple of weeks!!!!!!! Once we have a report from him then we will be able to schedule the hearing to determine the permanent placement.
Uncle/Aunt were not at court today and didn't confirm (and therefore missed) their visit last week. Ok by me :)
The atty said to me that this case is the albatross around her neck...it's never ending. Ha! How do you think we feel????? lol!
One.Step.Closer!
Before court the GAL atty came over and told me that bio-dad did not respond to the publication so he will be defaulted today (let me know if you want an explanation on what that means). Unfortunately the GAL couldn't be there today so she will come to court next Tuesday for her testimony for the MBI. I will not need to be there for that one, so that means that the next time I walk into court it will be hear where my baby will be living forever!
Today the GAL atty also filed a motion to use their bonding assessment person and the state finally acquiesced. They have "fit in" there that if they do not agree with the results that a secondary one can be done. Sure! I think any bonding assessment will tell you that he's pretty darn bonded to the people who have been raising him since birth :) I was told that the Dr. should be able to complete the assessment within the next couple of weeks!!!!!!! Once we have a report from him then we will be able to schedule the hearing to determine the permanent placement.
Uncle/Aunt were not at court today and didn't confirm (and therefore missed) their visit last week. Ok by me :)
The atty said to me that this case is the albatross around her neck...it's never ending. Ha! How do you think we feel????? lol!
One.Step.Closer!
Saturday, June 1, 2013
And the fun continues!
I hope that most of you are also following me on FB because I have been very absent here lately. Sorry! Sometimes it's just quicker to post a quick update, but I will try to write here more often as well :)
What's been going on...not a whole lot. We had another Saturday CM visit. I really wish that she could get these things scheduled for during the week and not wait till the last minute, but at least she is quick! Apparently there is no word from Dad. We had court on May 28th and publication began. Hopefully in 7 weeks with our next court hearing we will be complete with TPR!!!
The drama continues with the bonding assessment :( The GAL program didn't want the agency's assessor and the agency didnt' want the GAL's assessor, so the agency said "How about we use the GAL assessor from another county?" Apparently this was denied by the GAL's office (even though it looked like it would be a good solution...GAL and neutral) but they didn't like that as well. We are leaving for vacation in 2 weeks and the CM wanted the bonding assessment done before we leave so it could be ready for court on 7/16. Doesn't look like that is going to happen. Sigh....praying this is going to be for Choo Choo's benefit!
I had a horrible dream the other night where we were all sitting in the court room and it was ordered he go to live with Aunt/Uncle. The minute the judge said that, aunt jumped up and shouted "we won!" In the dream I respectfully asked the judge to speak and I asked if she heard what the aunt said. She said "no." I repeated what aunt said and then said "this has always been about a competition for them, not the child. I hope you made the right decision." and then I left the room. I'm so much more outspoken in my dreams! In reality if that happens I'll probably run crying from the court room-lol!
So....this is where we are. Not much moving for the next 7 weeks, but after that I have a feeling things will move pretty quickly. I just want permanecy for my baby. He deserves it! It's been wwaaaayyyy past long enough and ALL of us need to know what God's final plan for forever is :)
As I watch my crazy boys out playing in the pouring rain, running around like crazy people yelling "Ahhhhh Buffalo!" I can't even imagine not having Choo Choo be part of this crazy for forever!!! I will enjoy each day...even through the tantrums and naughty talk he learns at aunt/uncles...and this vacation will definitely be a memorable one :)
What's been going on...not a whole lot. We had another Saturday CM visit. I really wish that she could get these things scheduled for during the week and not wait till the last minute, but at least she is quick! Apparently there is no word from Dad. We had court on May 28th and publication began. Hopefully in 7 weeks with our next court hearing we will be complete with TPR!!!
The drama continues with the bonding assessment :( The GAL program didn't want the agency's assessor and the agency didnt' want the GAL's assessor, so the agency said "How about we use the GAL assessor from another county?" Apparently this was denied by the GAL's office (even though it looked like it would be a good solution...GAL and neutral) but they didn't like that as well. We are leaving for vacation in 2 weeks and the CM wanted the bonding assessment done before we leave so it could be ready for court on 7/16. Doesn't look like that is going to happen. Sigh....praying this is going to be for Choo Choo's benefit!
I had a horrible dream the other night where we were all sitting in the court room and it was ordered he go to live with Aunt/Uncle. The minute the judge said that, aunt jumped up and shouted "we won!" In the dream I respectfully asked the judge to speak and I asked if she heard what the aunt said. She said "no." I repeated what aunt said and then said "this has always been about a competition for them, not the child. I hope you made the right decision." and then I left the room. I'm so much more outspoken in my dreams! In reality if that happens I'll probably run crying from the court room-lol!
So....this is where we are. Not much moving for the next 7 weeks, but after that I have a feeling things will move pretty quickly. I just want permanecy for my baby. He deserves it! It's been wwaaaayyyy past long enough and ALL of us need to know what God's final plan for forever is :)
As I watch my crazy boys out playing in the pouring rain, running around like crazy people yelling "Ahhhhh Buffalo!" I can't even imagine not having Choo Choo be part of this crazy for forever!!! I will enjoy each day...even through the tantrums and naughty talk he learns at aunt/uncles...and this vacation will definitely be a memorable one :)
Thursday, May 2, 2013
One down one to go!
Court today was short and sweet! I was told before we even went in that Bio-Mom had once again gone MIA and wasn't expected. The GAL supervisor had never seen her before so she asked me if I saw her and I told her no. :)
Technically she isn't officially TPR'd....she's 'defaulted." Basically she didn't show so they terminated, but it can't be filed until Dad is TPR'd as well. They must be filed together. The diligent search for Dad has not been completed so the next court hearing is May 29th to see the status of that. If that is done then they can file publication. So....we are looking at a minimum of 10...yes TEN weeks before we will be able to TPR Dad. That takes us well into JULY!!!! OYE! After that of course we move on to WHERE Choo Choo will live permanently.
The good news of all of this is of course 1) Mom is DONE! 2) Choo Choo gets to come on our family vacation and my sister will finally get to meet him (my mom and other sister met him when they came here).
Besides all this my family could really use your prayers. My Dad is having major back surgery tomorrow and will be out of commission for awhile. There is also another "unspoken" request that needs MUCH prayer :) I am the only one who lives out of state, so this is really tough for me being far away. I hope to make a visit in the next couple of weeks.
Technically she isn't officially TPR'd....she's 'defaulted." Basically she didn't show so they terminated, but it can't be filed until Dad is TPR'd as well. They must be filed together. The diligent search for Dad has not been completed so the next court hearing is May 29th to see the status of that. If that is done then they can file publication. So....we are looking at a minimum of 10...yes TEN weeks before we will be able to TPR Dad. That takes us well into JULY!!!! OYE! After that of course we move on to WHERE Choo Choo will live permanently.
The good news of all of this is of course 1) Mom is DONE! 2) Choo Choo gets to come on our family vacation and my sister will finally get to meet him (my mom and other sister met him when they came here).
Besides all this my family could really use your prayers. My Dad is having major back surgery tomorrow and will be out of commission for awhile. There is also another "unspoken" request that needs MUCH prayer :) I am the only one who lives out of state, so this is really tough for me being far away. I hope to make a visit in the next couple of weeks.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Here we go...
Tomorrow is Pre-trial/Bio-Dad's advisory. Pre-trial isn't much of anything to speak of and I highly doubt that dad will show for his advisory. I think I need a flow chart for this, but I think I'll just do bullets :)
IF Dad shows....
IF Dad shows....
- They will serve him to appear in court next week for trial
- Trial will continue as planned for both parents next Thur.
IF Dad doesn't show....
- Not much of anything will be accomplished tomorrow
- They will do publication for the next 6 WEEKS to see if Dad responds to an ad in the paper (ha!).
- Trial will continue as scheduled next week for bio-MOM ONLY. Trial for Dad will happen after the 6 week waiting period is up.
So....as it sits (and how I believe it will go down) we will have trial for Mom's TPR next week, wait 6 weeks, get trial for Dad scheduled, have trial, then MBI and the ugliness that will happen to determine where Choo Choo will be forever.
I asked uncle today at drop off if he knew where bio-dad was or if he had heard from him and he said "no." I don't know if that's true or not, but .....It is my prayer (and we covet all your prayers as well!!!!!!!!!) that bio-dad shows up tomorrow and we can get this show on the road!!!!!!!!!!
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