Respite placement

Friday evening baby girl arrived! The boys have been so sweet with her. My rough and tough boys have a special soft side for babies :) Even Little Man has been **excellent** with her! He wants to hold her (with my help of course!), feed her, and play with her. They think they are hot stuff when they get her to smile, coo and laugh! She seriously is the sweetest baby!! She is so easy going, fun, and she sleeps through the night! Now that's a total package :) We have been joking that we are going to tell her foster parents to keep driving on...we'll keep her!!! It's going to be tough to say goodbye! I know that might sound silly, but really! God has made the heart with an amazing capacity to LOVE... Opening our hearts is a choice...one we will gladly take even if it means saying goodbye.

Details...details....

Ahhhh....more details about LM's mom keep appearing and confirming more and more that the judge made the right decision (of course there was no doubt in my mind)! :) The only one I will share because I think it is so heartbreaking is the fact that when told what happened at court and that the next step was to take her parental rights to LM away she didn't even flinch...not even a little bit!!!!! I guess maybe she knew it was coming, but still!!! :( I don't dislike his birthmom/dad....I really feel sad for her (and dad)! They aren't appropriate parents right now that's for sure, but both of them have had a rough life. Both have learned behaviors/poor parenting skills from their own parents. Both were never taught what personal responsibility is. Neither learned independence skills. How can we expect them to all of the sudden be good parents????

I am excited to continue on this foster journey and daily I pray that our next placement (whenever that will be!) is going to be a happy reunion story! We didn't start fostering to adopt. We discussed in the very beginning that if the opportunity arose (like it is now!!) that of course we would say "yes" but the the intention was never adopt every child. That's not what foster care is about! I am excited to walk alongside a bio-parent who WANTS to get better and change her life. I want to see the happy story at the end where Mom (and Dad?) have really made an internal change and want to put their baby's needs/wants before theirs. I can't wait to see what God has planned for us next!!

On another note...yesterday I was talking to our FDS and she was asking about our profile. She said that it was noted that we only take BOYS! What??? I told her that it has never been that way and we have always been open to any gender/race. When she learned that she said that they are looking for respite for a child....so.....we we are going to do respite care for another foster family this weekend! It's a 2 month old baby GIRL!! The foster mom said she is the best baby ever and sleeps through the night, so I am excited about that! :) We'll see what the other kids think of her!

I was thinking the other day that when LM's adoption is finalized we will have one of each....(1) private/domestic (1) international and (1) foster care adoption :) Kinda neat!

Peace

It's a beautiful thing!!!!!!! For about the last month Little Man has not slept through the night. He would wake up crying and although he would easily (sometimes) go back to sleep with an easy "shhhhh" he was waking a good 4-6 times a night! On top of that he was SO CRABBY during the day. He would throw these horrible tantrums and scream so loud I thought my ear drums were going to rupture! I thought he was teething and cutting his molars (that still may be partially true). I didn't realize just how spiritual that was!

Since Monday's decision I have seen a totally different little boy than the last month! The past two nights he has slept through the night without so much as a peep! His days are so sweet again...he is happy, laughing and JOYful! The past almost 14 months have been such a spiritual battle! I know that the work isn't over yet, and there will be things to battle against at various points in his life, but for now...PEACE!

Something else that is different is that I am allowing myself to look into the future. I always kept my visions for his future short...like up to his 2nd birthday or whenever I thought he might have to leave. Now my mind is free to look far into the future and know that he's going to be a part of our family and a piece of those memories!

As part of the decision on Monday, Mom/Dad get to continue visitation if they give 24hours notice. That did not happen yesterday and so there will be no visit today. Their visits will continue (if they want them) until they are tpr'd.

Looking forward to a dramaless day :)

Staffing

Today LM's agency was planning a staffing to change the case goal from reunification to adoption...well as you all know that already happened!!!! Anyway, the staffing continued today and I was able to tell them emphatically that we want to adopt LM!!! They all thanked us for opening our home to LM and for adopting him. I didn't expect that at all and truly we are the blessed ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A friend asked me today how I felt...does it feel different?? Yesterday I was giddy happy! You couldn't wipe the smile off my face and I was just floating all night! This morning those feeling continued :) Then I went into LM's room to get him up. As is usual, I went in his room and we played this silly game where he pretends to hide under his blanket and then I find him and we both giggle. Once I picked him up he looked at me and said "Mornin' Mommy!" and it HIT ME!!! I have the honor of being his FOREVER MOMMY not just his temporary Mommy!!! A flood washed over me.....I didn't realize that my mind (in protection mode!) had left a part of my heart guarded. That part is now gone FOREVER as we look to the future!

I CANNOT wait to show you pictures of my sweet little angel!!!! You'll have to wait a bit longer though....

Mountains Moved!!!!!!!

When I arrived at court this afternoon I found out from our CM that the parents were not going to show. Apparently Mom's excuse was that she ate some bad hamburger meat and couldn't make it. Dad didn't have any excuse apparently. We continued with the JR anyway...it's only taken since OCTOBER!!

Everyone pretty much went in the same mindset and at the end the decision was to change the case goal from reunification to ADOPTION!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong...this day is bittersweet in a way because I realize that his parents will be extremely sad and hurt when they hear the news. I am not minimizing their pain, but at the same time I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy that LM will get to remain a permanent part of our family!!!!

The TPR advisory is set for March 1st...exactly 15 months since the day we met him! If they show up (they probably are not going to based on all that has happened) then their rights will most likely be terminated right then and there. If they do show up the process will be longer and we will go to trial.

We just continue to walk this journey trusting that God's plan is perfect and LM is meant to be a member of this family FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freedom

We have court again today....the first thought in my head this morning when I woke up was "no more shackles, no more chains, no more bondage, I am FREE!!!!!!!" Praying for BIG things today :)

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