So I woke up this morning with a horrible feeling that "something" was going to happen...it always does in this case. I tried to pray it away and shake out of it, but I couldn't. I thought it was just the enemy messing with me. I got to the court house and I was the only one there. Everyone was running late and they were ready to call our case. Ummm...once everyone was called in we waited an addt'l 30 min. for the judge and for Bio-mom who was trying to find a notary to swear her in.
Once all was said and done Mom appeared by phone. I was confused why she was there and quickly found out that she had filed an appeal on the "surrenders by non-appearance." The judge heard the motion and was about to deny it, but then Mom's lawyer (who can actually get Bio-mom to be quiet--miracle!) convinced her to give her a trial. Why no one thinks these things are important to the foster parent I will never know! I was totally blind-sided :(
So here we go...pre-trial is Dec 1st. Exactly 2 years since Little Man came to us!!! Trial is set for Dec. 9th.
Bio-mom has a "plan" to have him transferred to another foster home in her state and she can work a case plan there. She still has no job, has been denied ssi and takes care of her ailing mother. There are so many details about the timeline of her filing a motion that are just crazy and purely absurd. I of course can't go into details, but sigh.....
Oh...on a positive note...Bio-dad's rights were terminated!!!!!!
The Lord has a plan with all these delays and EVENTUALLY LM will be ours FOREVER!!!!!
Sharing the life experience of becoming foster parents to the least of these!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Struggling
I am so weary of this case!!!!!!!!!! Mom has filed a motion and we are going to trial...no joke :( I don't even have words!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Tomorrow
Tomorrow is the big day!!! I am praying that I can show you all a picture of our Little Man in all his toddler sweetness!!! :) I loved today's message at church today. It was all about our big God that saves! Every song spoke to my heart! Our Little Man has been SAVED from poverty...our Little man has been SAVED from a life of neglect....our Little Man has been SAVED from a life of drugs....our Little Man has been REDEEMED and placed in a FAMILY where he will learn about Christ and prayerfully grow up to serve Him in mighty ways!!! I tell you it is the most adorable thing to hear this little guy sing "Jesus Loves Me" and says his prayers at night. The other day he was talking about the "Holy Pirit" :) It has been a nearly 2 yr long battle, but the battle has not been ours. There have been many tears, venting calls to my good foster momma friend Karen, and even lots of happy memories along the way. We are praying that tomorrow is the close to one chapter in Little Man's story and the very beginning of a new one!
Please pray with us for...
(1) Wisdom for Judge P. to see the TRUTH and make sounds decisions
(2) That all parties agree that Little Man needs to stay here (there is no doubt, but it never hurts to cover all bases :) )
(3) That there are no inferences, delays, disruptions, etc to having this hearing occur!
Thank you for the prayers and support and I will be sure to update you all and hopefully share our sweet guy with you!
Please pray with us for...
(1) Wisdom for Judge P. to see the TRUTH and make sounds decisions
(2) That all parties agree that Little Man needs to stay here (there is no doubt, but it never hurts to cover all bases :) )
(3) That there are no inferences, delays, disruptions, etc to having this hearing occur!
Thank you for the prayers and support and I will be sure to update you all and hopefully share our sweet guy with you!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
What's been going on....
So this week has been interesting/busy/crazy/exhausting...just because of the "stuff" that happens in a family of 6 not to mention all the spiritual warfare that occurs right before a BIG court hearing when Little Man *will* (I'm speaking in faith here!) be legally free for adoption into a Christ-centered home!!!!!
Baby has been sick with an ear infection and a sore throat. He has not slept through the night in close to 2 weeks. The first week was a cold and it all developed into this lovely thing. He was up from 12:00-2:00am last night screaming at the top of his lungs! He was so loud he woke hubby up and believe me...that's hard to do!
Little Man actually made good strides with using the "big" potty :) He practiced for almost a 1/2 hour the other day getting on and off the potty...cracked me up! He has used the toilet for all "business" lately and I am grateful for less p*oopy diapers!!!
Although he has had some great moments this week his little mouth and tantrums are wearing on me! Whew...he NEVER stops talking and sometimes I want to beg him to just please be quiet!!! He is a conversationalist to any and every person he may run across (reminds me of my Dad there :) ) and when he doesn't get his way...watch out!! He is full-on in the "WHY?????" stage and also the toddler's creed stage! If you are not familiar with this, here you go!
Toddler's Creed
If it's on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with an arched back.
If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged.
I am toddler!
And another version that fits him just as well :)
The Toddlers Creed
by Dr. Burton L. White
Submitted by Heather Haas 08-04-01
If I want it,
IT'S MINE!
If I give it to you and change my mind later,
IT'S MINE!
If I can take it away from you,
IT'S MINE!
If it's mine it will never belong to anybody else,
No matter what.
If we are building something together,
All the pieces are mine!
If it looks just like mine,
IT'S MINE!
If it breaks or needs putting away,
IT'S YOURS!
Additionally, Baby can stand alone for about 2 seconds and is walking behind a walker. Oh the life of a busy Mommy, but I wouldn't have it any other way :) Although, a nap today would be really nice!!!
Baby has been sick with an ear infection and a sore throat. He has not slept through the night in close to 2 weeks. The first week was a cold and it all developed into this lovely thing. He was up from 12:00-2:00am last night screaming at the top of his lungs! He was so loud he woke hubby up and believe me...that's hard to do!
Little Man actually made good strides with using the "big" potty :) He practiced for almost a 1/2 hour the other day getting on and off the potty...cracked me up! He has used the toilet for all "business" lately and I am grateful for less p*oopy diapers!!!
Although he has had some great moments this week his little mouth and tantrums are wearing on me! Whew...he NEVER stops talking and sometimes I want to beg him to just please be quiet!!! He is a conversationalist to any and every person he may run across (reminds me of my Dad there :) ) and when he doesn't get his way...watch out!! He is full-on in the "WHY?????" stage and also the toddler's creed stage! If you are not familiar with this, here you go!
Toddler's Creed
If it's on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with an arched back.
If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged.
I am toddler!
And another version that fits him just as well :)
The Toddlers Creed
by Dr. Burton L. White
Submitted by Heather Haas 08-04-01
If I want it,
IT'S MINE!
If I give it to you and change my mind later,
IT'S MINE!
If I can take it away from you,
IT'S MINE!
If it's mine it will never belong to anybody else,
No matter what.
If we are building something together,
All the pieces are mine!
If it looks just like mine,
IT'S MINE!
If it breaks or needs putting away,
IT'S YOURS!
Additionally, Baby can stand alone for about 2 seconds and is walking behind a walker. Oh the life of a busy Mommy, but I wouldn't have it any other way :) Although, a nap today would be really nice!!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
The Staffing
So it ended up being just the old cm, new cm, their supervisor, GAL and me. Dad texted and said he is working for the week in a nearby city and is unable to get away to come to the meeting or for a visit this week. Apparently this was the same reason last week. He said he's call on his lunch break, but never did.I heard that his section 8 housing has come up and he was on the list for Oct., however there are two stipulations...1) verifiable income and 2) 60 days till reunification. The supervisor said that he had neither so he has been taken off the list for now. That's not going to make him happy!
So...what we talked about and where we go from here....the OAG will be contacted in regards to getting a case plan. They will have to petition the court based on "probable cause." The way the woman explained it to me is that basically it will be treated similarly to when an initial allegation takes place (because he is non-offending this has not happened) however it is different because he is not the caregiver. So...IF he gets a case plan approved then they will give him only 6 months to complete it because he already has had the past 8 months to get his bootie in gear (and has nothing to show for it :( ).
My feelings on all of this?? He'll get a case plan and not work it and sometime about a year from now we'll be in the same situation that we are currently in with Little Man. Yep...I think we are looking at another 2 yr case :(
I had brought up for the record that the one visit that he did go on the baby was fed his breakfast but not his lunch and that he sucked down a bottle when he got home because he was so hungry! The new CM reported that when she picked him up from his visit at McDonalds that Dad was feeding baby an ICE CREAM CONE! Oh sheesh! The kid has trouble with milk-based formula for cryin out loud and is only 8 months old! I KNOW that his Dad loves him very much and I KNOW that he would never do anything to hurt this baby, but he just does not seem truly capable for caring for him on a daily basis. I say this from all information in general not just the ice cream.
Other relative caregivers are being contacted (Dad's sister and the maternal aunt/uncle) on their interest in caring for/adopting Baby. No one seems to think these will pan out. I guess time will tell! Both the next staffing and court date are in January..just before baby's first birthday!
So...what we talked about and where we go from here....the OAG will be contacted in regards to getting a case plan. They will have to petition the court based on "probable cause." The way the woman explained it to me is that basically it will be treated similarly to when an initial allegation takes place (because he is non-offending this has not happened) however it is different because he is not the caregiver. So...IF he gets a case plan approved then they will give him only 6 months to complete it because he already has had the past 8 months to get his bootie in gear (and has nothing to show for it :( ).
My feelings on all of this?? He'll get a case plan and not work it and sometime about a year from now we'll be in the same situation that we are currently in with Little Man. Yep...I think we are looking at another 2 yr case :(
I had brought up for the record that the one visit that he did go on the baby was fed his breakfast but not his lunch and that he sucked down a bottle when he got home because he was so hungry! The new CM reported that when she picked him up from his visit at McDonalds that Dad was feeding baby an ICE CREAM CONE! Oh sheesh! The kid has trouble with milk-based formula for cryin out loud and is only 8 months old! I KNOW that his Dad loves him very much and I KNOW that he would never do anything to hurt this baby, but he just does not seem truly capable for caring for him on a daily basis. I say this from all information in general not just the ice cream.
Other relative caregivers are being contacted (Dad's sister and the maternal aunt/uncle) on their interest in caring for/adopting Baby. No one seems to think these will pan out. I guess time will tell! Both the next staffing and court date are in January..just before baby's first birthday!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Busy Week
As if one unannounced visit weren't enough, the brand spankin new case manager for baby came knocking on my door at 6pm that same night! Lovely! My older two were getting ready for bathtime and were streaking naked through the house! Nothing says "welcome" like naked kids! You want unannounced...this is what you get-lol!
She was a bit a*nal as this was her very first home visit (like even checking for a diaper rash!) and didn't have much to say other than she thinks that dad will choose to work a case plan. No visit again this week, but it wasn't because of Dad...
On top of the two cm visits we also had Baby's GAL which was uneventful and our old FDS who "stole" us back!!! She was our absolute favorite and then left us for another job about a year ago (different line of work in another state). She decided to come back and wanted to work with our family again. We really liked our old FDS too, but we just "click" with "T" :-) She hadn't seen LM in over a year so that was fun and she also got to meet baby man and catch up on the older kiddos too!
After LM's stunt with his p*oop last week he has decided it best to keep all bodily functions in the toilet...THANK YOU JESUS!!!! This morning he totally shocked me and asked to go on the big potty!!! It was a beautiful thing...if you are not a parent...you'll "get it" when you are :) He went and then again and again! He practiced getting on and off the potty for a good 1/2 hour-lol!!!
My sweet "A" asked this week "Mom, can we just adopt {baby man}??? I don't want him to leave" If only I could give him an answer and make things that easy!! Tuesday this week for him and the following Monday for Little Man....getting very EAGER!!!!
She was a bit a*nal as this was her very first home visit (like even checking for a diaper rash!) and didn't have much to say other than she thinks that dad will choose to work a case plan. No visit again this week, but it wasn't because of Dad...
On top of the two cm visits we also had Baby's GAL which was uneventful and our old FDS who "stole" us back!!! She was our absolute favorite and then left us for another job about a year ago (different line of work in another state). She decided to come back and wanted to work with our family again. We really liked our old FDS too, but we just "click" with "T" :-) She hadn't seen LM in over a year so that was fun and she also got to meet baby man and catch up on the older kiddos too!
After LM's stunt with his p*oop last week he has decided it best to keep all bodily functions in the toilet...THANK YOU JESUS!!!! This morning he totally shocked me and asked to go on the big potty!!! It was a beautiful thing...if you are not a parent...you'll "get it" when you are :) He went and then again and again! He practiced getting on and off the potty for a good 1/2 hour-lol!!!
My sweet "A" asked this week "Mom, can we just adopt {baby man}??? I don't want him to leave" If only I could give him an answer and make things that easy!! Tuesday this week for him and the following Monday for Little Man....getting very EAGER!!!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
"Unannounced" visit
I love that we live sooo far (like an hour with traffic) from the offices of our case workers. They want to make sure I'll be there before they make the drive all the way out here :) So, an "unannounced" visit turns into a visit that I have at least an hour's notice for! I think that if they questioned me or had concerns about our family that would be different, but we're kinda "old hat" around there now! lol!
I wish just once that a CM would see a court date as HUGE as I see it!!! I don't think they really personalize (why would they?? It happens to them all the time) what that outcome means for the child or for our family! Oct 24th **should** be the day that all rights are terminated!!! HOWEVER....there is a chance that the judge could choose to place LM with another foster family in NY (one his bio-mom suggested). Do I think this is going to happen? No! Could it? Yes...if insanity ruled! Why move him from one foster family that he's been with for nearly 2 yrs to another foster family in another state to be near a mother whose rights have been terminated?? Doesn't make ANY sense, but who knows??? If it were a relative, that story would be very different, but I can say with confidence that God is in CONTROL and I trust that in less than two weeks we will have full termination with NO appeals!!
As for LG it seems like the staffing that we have for him next Tuesday is going to be *the* day when bio-dad is presented with his choices and how this is to proceed. Like I said before, I feel he will pursue a case plan. We will see.....
Here's an article worth reading.....
http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/10/12/dont-adopt/
I wish just once that a CM would see a court date as HUGE as I see it!!! I don't think they really personalize (why would they?? It happens to them all the time) what that outcome means for the child or for our family! Oct 24th **should** be the day that all rights are terminated!!! HOWEVER....there is a chance that the judge could choose to place LM with another foster family in NY (one his bio-mom suggested). Do I think this is going to happen? No! Could it? Yes...if insanity ruled! Why move him from one foster family that he's been with for nearly 2 yrs to another foster family in another state to be near a mother whose rights have been terminated?? Doesn't make ANY sense, but who knows??? If it were a relative, that story would be very different, but I can say with confidence that God is in CONTROL and I trust that in less than two weeks we will have full termination with NO appeals!!
As for LG it seems like the staffing that we have for him next Tuesday is going to be *the* day when bio-dad is presented with his choices and how this is to proceed. Like I said before, I feel he will pursue a case plan. We will see.....
Here's an article worth reading.....
http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/10/12/dont-adopt/
Saturday, October 8, 2011
In the trenches of motherhood
Let me just start by saying I love my children each so very much and for many many reasons! There are however weeks like this past week when I am in the deep trenches of motherhood and praying for a better week next week! A few highlights....
* A child lying about his behavior to get his brother in trouble
* Discovering that the 5 yr old has decided that behind his bed is the perfect place to put any and everything...garbage, puzzles, toys he didn't feel like cleaning up, things he's taken from his brothers, whatever!
* Baby decided he is "super baby" and climbing to stand at anything that could possibly hold his weight...falling, screaming, and immediately returning to the same place to try again.
* Up all night with a teething infant
* A sneaky 2 year old who does naughty things behind my back
* A not so sneaky 2 year old who gets mad, throws a tantrum and his plate across the dining room
* A child who is frustrated with learning and makes homeschooling time miserable
but the REAL kicker for this week was when I got Little Man up from his nap today and discovered that he put his hands down his diaper. Yes...he p*ooped and decided to "decorate" his carpeting, window and window sill with it. Lovely!
Ok...let's focus on some positives...
* Letting our kids fail in the safety of our home allows them to not make those same mistakes in the real world when the stakes are higher
* Being consistent in our discipline helps our children learn we are trustworthy and mean what we say.
* Natural consequences are the best :)
* Baby learned how to drop to his tooshie rather than fall over from standing....hallelujah!
* 7 yr old *asked* to do school today so he could "get it"!!!
* Baby starting clapping! He's my little cheerleader! :)
* Both teeth are through his gums!!!!
* Little Man smells really fruity right now from some lovely body spray...after 2 baths he still stunk and I couldn't take it! lol!
* Amongst all THAT I got a good amount of cleaning/organizing done this week and I am EAGER to get ready to move in the a few months. We of course need to find a house first :)
Tomorrow starts my weekend (hubby has a great schedule where he gets Sunday-Tuesday off) and I am ready for a FRESH start!! The Lord's mercies are new every morning and I am trusting that next week will be more peaceful :-) Tonight is "stay at home date night" with hubby where we get some yummy take out, talk and just have wonderful adult time! :)
* A child lying about his behavior to get his brother in trouble
* Discovering that the 5 yr old has decided that behind his bed is the perfect place to put any and everything...garbage, puzzles, toys he didn't feel like cleaning up, things he's taken from his brothers, whatever!
* Baby decided he is "super baby" and climbing to stand at anything that could possibly hold his weight...falling, screaming, and immediately returning to the same place to try again.
* Up all night with a teething infant
* A sneaky 2 year old who does naughty things behind my back
* A not so sneaky 2 year old who gets mad, throws a tantrum and his plate across the dining room
* A child who is frustrated with learning and makes homeschooling time miserable
but the REAL kicker for this week was when I got Little Man up from his nap today and discovered that he put his hands down his diaper. Yes...he p*ooped and decided to "decorate" his carpeting, window and window sill with it. Lovely!
Ok...let's focus on some positives...
* Letting our kids fail in the safety of our home allows them to not make those same mistakes in the real world when the stakes are higher
* Being consistent in our discipline helps our children learn we are trustworthy and mean what we say.
* Natural consequences are the best :)
* Baby learned how to drop to his tooshie rather than fall over from standing....hallelujah!
* 7 yr old *asked* to do school today so he could "get it"!!!
* Baby starting clapping! He's my little cheerleader! :)
* Both teeth are through his gums!!!!
* Little Man smells really fruity right now from some lovely body spray...after 2 baths he still stunk and I couldn't take it! lol!
* Amongst all THAT I got a good amount of cleaning/organizing done this week and I am EAGER to get ready to move in the a few months. We of course need to find a house first :)
Tomorrow starts my weekend (hubby has a great schedule where he gets Sunday-Tuesday off) and I am ready for a FRESH start!! The Lord's mercies are new every morning and I am trusting that next week will be more peaceful :-) Tonight is "stay at home date night" with hubby where we get some yummy take out, talk and just have wonderful adult time! :)
Friday, October 7, 2011
You never know....
Sometimes asking a simple questions such as "will there be a visit this week?" can lead to things you never imagined! LOL! Baby did not have a visit again this week. That makes a whopping ONE visit in 5 weeks! This week was cancelled because although Dad still has his 4 hour unsupervised visit he was supposed to check in with the case manager as to where they were during the visit. He never called/texted so I guess he lost this week's visit.
Our CM is currently in the middle of transitioning to her new job but as the phone call went on she mentioned that her supervisor wanted her to talk to the attorney about ADOPTION! Yep...there it is...WHAM! They are talking about asking Dad to sign surrenders or work a case plan. Hmmm....I have no idea what is going to happen, but NEVER did we imagine that in 2 years of fostering we would have only 2 cases and (possibly) get to adopt both of them!!!
Of course my heart is signing that *potentially* we could be adopting our baby boy! HOWEVER....reality is still very present and I realize that pretty much NOTHING in foster care goes easy/smooth, so no hopes are up yet, but hmmmm.....names have started flowing through my head. We are not exactly in love with his current name, but may keep it as his middle name. It's funny how when I asked my husband about what name was floating around his head it was the SAME name....YEP :)
Ok...ok...back to reality :)
Our CM is currently in the middle of transitioning to her new job but as the phone call went on she mentioned that her supervisor wanted her to talk to the attorney about ADOPTION! Yep...there it is...WHAM! They are talking about asking Dad to sign surrenders or work a case plan. Hmmm....I have no idea what is going to happen, but NEVER did we imagine that in 2 years of fostering we would have only 2 cases and (possibly) get to adopt both of them!!!
Of course my heart is signing that *potentially* we could be adopting our baby boy! HOWEVER....reality is still very present and I realize that pretty much NOTHING in foster care goes easy/smooth, so no hopes are up yet, but hmmmm.....names have started flowing through my head. We are not exactly in love with his current name, but may keep it as his middle name. It's funny how when I asked my husband about what name was floating around his head it was the SAME name....YEP :)
Ok...ok...back to reality :)
Saturday, October 1, 2011
More...really??
As if crawling just isn't enough of an accomplishment in a week, today he pulled himself all the way to standing at the couch several times!! He's gotten to his knees several times, but I thought we'd have a bit more time before we hit standing. WRONG! He's also trying to bear walk (can do 1-2 steps) and will take steps when you hold his hands. I think we have an early walker on our hands....all those brothers to keep up with! Christmas will be fun this year!!! LOL!!!
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