Thursday, October 18, 2012

It's been six months

Every morning for the past six months I have woken up and prayed about Baby's case.  I have shed so many tears over having him leave and grieving for him and my other kids what they were not yet aware of.  I have several bins packed and we even had a goodbye party for him!

PINCH ME!  I still cannot believe this is real!  I can UNPACK the bins and unpack that baggage in my mind.  I fully expect a "last ditch" effort by Bio-Dad to get his life in order because the Aunt/Uncle have pinned him against me and in the last 6 months he has not called/texted me at all (before that he did several times a week)  He has such disdain for the people that have cared and loved for his son when all he cared about was himself.

I imagined last night if things had gone differently.  If they had been walking out of the court room with the verdict they wanted.  How would I have behaved?  I totally believe that I would have walked out with my head hung low but still praising God that His plan was completed.  I would not "hate" the aunt/uncle/bio-dad.  I would not give them dirty looks.  I'm not being prideful here, but rather realizing that God is in control ALWAYS!!!!!  It would not be their "fault" that Baby was leaving.  It's just God's plan for Baby.  These people are some of the MANY people in America who claim to be Christians yet their lives do not reflect that walk!  All 3 of them will constantly remain in my prayers.  I  believe that their motives will truly show over the next several months as this case continues.  God will show if their hearts were pure in wanting Baby.  It's not up to me and frankly I hope they do continue with visits and that their efforts were genuine....that Baby knows he has his forever family (hopefully us!!!) and his biological family....extra LOVE :)

1 comment:

aka. Mimi said...

Oh my goodness! I've been sick all week and missed all of this! WOW!!! What a roller coaster... Very exciting news! :-)