Saturday, November 30, 2013

Holidays and birthparents

It's pretty much clockwork...something about the holidays just screams "FAMILY" and that includes biological parents and the children who have been placed for adoption.  In the past 2 days I have heard from 2 of the 4 bio-parents.  The other 2 are well...1 is unknown (international adoption) and the other no longer have our contact info by their choice.

Our first son's bio-parents are very loving toward our family and commend and thank us pretty much in every email for the past 9+ yrs that we are amazing parents and we are giving our children (especially their bio-child) a wonderful life.  I of course updated them and sent a slew of pictures :)  They are special because they love ALL our kids...not just Andrew! 

Michael's birth mom (if you have followed this blog for that long) has had a rollercoaster ride of a life.  We do not have the same relationship with her as we do with Andrew's bio-parents.  We limit contact with her to email/snail mail.   She recently finally stopped signing her emails "Mommy loves you!"  Michael was adopted close to 3 years ago.  In her eyes of course she will always be his mommy.  In her most recent email she asked me if we still show him the pictures she sends and if he remembers her. 

Here is where it got a bit slippery for me...."A" has some mental health issues and when she is on her meds things are great and she is able to think straight.  When she is not....well....let's just say she can be really mean. answer her questions I told her of course I still show him pictures from time to time.  She recently sent pics of Michael's full bio-brother and  Michael's comment was "look it's me when I was a baby!"  Yes, they look VERY much alike.  Their bio-sister (in between them) looks like a female Michael too!!  I told her that we call her his "tummy mommy" and he knows her name.  I then said that he was very young when she left and I don't think he has any real memories of her, but I added "maybe as he gets older some memories will surface." 

I awaited the response....I would be able to tell if she was on her meds or not by her response.  I was pleasantly surprised when I read that she was so excited that we shared the pictures and to tell him that his "tummy mommy" loves him and misses him.  She thanked me for the pictures I sent as well and said she hopes that one day he will remember his blood family.  WHEW!  Meds to the rescue!  She also mentioned that she frequently reads the Bible that we sent her last Christmas :)  That part warmed my heart! 

Being an adoptive parent isn't always easy.  We have to do things as parents that most don't even dream about having to tackle.  Just to sit down and think about bio-siblings (I *think* that altogether there are at least 13 that I know about in 2 countries and 5 states) can be overwhelming!  Communicating with bio-families can be tricky and also a huge blessing!  It's just a different road :)  I am blessed beyond measure to be an adoptive and foster parent.  It's not always easy, but it's SO worth it!!!

No comments: