Name

I was looking back over the contact sheet that the adoption worker left yesterday and noticed she wrote his full NEW NAME at the top! Ahhhh...unless you have been through this, I don't know that you can fully understand it's significance. I don't like seeing his old name on things because it doesn't represent his permanency! YET!!! that is :) Of course his old name was right there too, but it was UNDER his new name! I am SO READY to make this official :)

Homestudy!

Today was homestudy day!!! Shoot...by the 6th homestudy I'm like "good enough!" with my cleaning-lol! My my how that has changed since homestudy and adoption #1! We did some paperwork and she asked a couple of questions did a brief tour and that was it! She is going to type it up and hopefully our (second round) of fingerprints come back asap. She said we'll have another meeting in 2 weeks or so to go over some more paperwork. Court on Monday and we will set the finalization...hopefully for the end of Feb.!!! It's so hard to believe that in a month's time it will all be OFFICIAL!!! It's surreal!

As for Baby's aunt/uncle visit....I talked with his GAL (she knows them well since his siblings live there). She said he doesn't treat women with a lot of respect so I should just tell him what I want to happen and (as long as CM agrees..which she does) that's how it's gonna go! So...IF he calls/txts me again I will tell him a 2 hour visit on Sat. when ALL the family is present. There is no need for a "private" visit (even if nothing sinister was to happen). So...I wait....I will not initiate any contact with him. DUH! The answer to the "why all the sudden?" question hit me...it's Baby's 1st birthday next week!!! So I guess I can expect these people to show up at "major" holidays/birthdays. Oh how nice for Baby (can you feel the sarcasm seething in that statement? lol) I just don't think it's fair for these people to get to "drop in" whenever they feel like it....so not fair to Baby!!!

Baby's 4 hour visit with Dad went well today from what I hear. He sent me a video :) He ASKED me if it was ok for Baby to have a b-day cake next week. While I think this is a bit odd for bio-parent to ask I TOTALLY was pleased and it shows he respects me :) Of course I said YES! He will also be getting his FIRST HAIRCUT!! I so wanted to take him, but totally understand his bio-dad wanting to do it. I'm just glad things are going to be under control in the hair dept. It's crazy! It's all long and shaggy on top with a ring of nothing at the back and then on the sides it's a bit like BOZO hair! He's going to look so different!

So overall, a pretty good day!

Hmmmm....

So I got a text from the Uncle asking if we could do Friday instead. The siblings are school age so when I asked him about it, he said he's pick up Baby and have him all day until 3 when his wife and the siblings got home. CHECK! Something about that just seems very weird to me. Maybe I've just seen and heard too many horror stories about horrible things happening to children, but it just seems odd that he would want to all of the sudden visit with Baby and alone at that (it's a maternal aunt...not paternal)....I texted back that I thought an all day visit was way too much for Baby as he has NO remembrance of them and that would be very hard for a child experiencing stranger anxiety. I did not get a text back. I texted his case manager and told her what happened and asked for her opinion. I didn't hear back from her either. It all just seems odd!! I don't care if they don't like me...I'm here for Baby not to make friends with workers (although I have with some!) or aunts/uncles. I don't think they are thinking of Baby's best interest :-(

Visits

It has been confirmed...Dad's visits will remain at 4 hours until he has an approved home study.

It has also been confirmed that Aunt/Uncle will be having a visit on Saturday...icky! I am now going to be driving to meet up with them on Sat. and they get a day visit with him. I am terrified for him. Poor thing does not know these people at all :( Maybe I can convince her to meet up with us at a park for this first visit so he can be around them, but still have someone he knows well. We'll see!!

Do you run a daycare?

Ahhhhh....I finally got the question that adoptive/foster mommies of several children get! I'm surprised it's taken this long-lol! I was at our local W*almart. Since moving I have literally been there twice. I went in today to pick up a couple of quick items with Baby only since my hubby was home and stayed with the rest of them.

When I got to the checkout the woman said "Do you run a daycare?" Chuckling to myself because I only had one child I said "no, he's my son." Just a side note...I do not feel it's necessary to constantly be telling people that he (or any other) child is a foster child. It only opens up a whole can of worms that I am not willing to go into with the checkout lady! lol!

Cashier: Oh I've seen you in here before and you had a lot more kids with you.

Me: Yes, they are all mine :)

Cashier: Wow, so you adopted them then?

Me: Yes

Cashier: Wow...that's really nice! My finace is adopted and we've talked about it to. I was wondering how long it took.

I gave her a very brief synopsis of our adoptions (there were not so patient people behind me, but hey...I'm doing God's work!) Sometimes I think I should draw up business cards for situations like that with my name/email/phone # on it so they can ask more questions later :)

I walked out amazed at how God used my family again and the easiest part was that I did nothing extra! All I did was take my kiddos to the store for a few items and treat them in a Godly way. That was enough to make an impression on this young woman! I love it! Never underestimate how God might use you and your family for His Glory!

Comments

Comments...we get them all the time. Some good and some bad. In James 3 it talks about how with our tongues we speak both blessings and cursings. We praise our God and Father and then with that same tongue curse the men (and women) God made in His likeness! This passage has been on my mind/heart this week. I've been really trying to focus on this with my kids too. Comments that we get as a transracial, semi-large family of young children can be the same....life or death. Recent comments we have gotten...

"Wow, you have such a beautiful family!" LIFE

"You sure have your hands full! " DEATH (this is personal...I hate this comment...I don't know why, but I just do! It NEVER encourages me)

"God Bless You and your family!" LIFE

"Are you crazy? You have that many kids and homeschool too?!" DEATH (when is insulting someone life-giving??)

"You just have one of every kind now don't you?" DEATH (they aren't a collection!)

"You are my hero! I could never do that!" LIFE and DEATH (while "hero" is no where near accurate, it's at least encouraging me that maybe God's using me to inspire others to adopt/foster...however...the second 1/2 of that statement cuts God off from what He *could* want to do with that person. They are shutting out the possibility that God could use them in a similar way.)

As we embark on a fresh week I challenge you all to consider every single word that comes out of your mouth. Are you encouraging someone else and bringing life, or are your words bringing death? So many times the "death comments" come from wanting to make ourselves feel better. Look inward...what could God be convicting YOU (and ME!!) of?? (do not read condemnation..that is not of the Lord! Conviction is very different!) Have a blessed week and bring LIFE to all you speak with this week!

Respite

Remember Butterball from a couple of months back? :) Gosh he was sweetie. I emailed his foster mom to see whatever happened with him and he was able to transfer to a friend's foster home and is doing really well and being doted on by two older teenage foster sisters :) She asked me if I was available for daytime respite every Thursday because she has to go to court every Thursday to fight for her her other sweeties. She has a 15 mo old and 4 mo old bio-siblings. They are trying to get the girls placed with a family friend (not even a close one). She has had the 15 mo old since 4 days old. The parents are not anywhere near close to getting them back but the workers want to move them anyway (this is not family). Crazy! Why upset these children's lives for nothing??? There is no reason to move them, so she needs to be at court to speak up each week.

So....I am going to be doing respite for her 2 GIRLS :) Yes, that will mean 6 kids 7 and under! 7, 5, 2, 1, 11 mos, and 4 mos! This is what crazy people who care about the well-being of kids do :) At least it's just for a few hours!