She's baaaaacccckkkkk!!!!!

I got this email from Little Man's GAL....


hello its me a. im am so very coincerned about my son i know we had that talk on the phone and the way you made me feel was really hurtfull. im willing to do whatever i have to do here to get custody of him im not with mr. m. dont even talk to him im inrolled in m.h im doing what i have to do i want to atleast see pictures of him i havent evern spoken to ar. she dont wqork there any more its not fair to me or my child i did what you and her sugested me to do come home where i had family to help me and support me and i did just that so what is the issue for me now can you please contact me asap thanks

The insanity of this angers me so much! She feels she can abandon her son (AGAIN) and jump back in whenever she wants and blame other people for her actions. She is absolutley right that this is not fair to LM....he never asked fir any of this craziness. I guess court could be very interesting in July!!! Lord...we expected a lot of thing from foster care, but "A" was NOT one of them!!!

Nevermind...

So I get a call about an hour later...ya know after I have gathered everything together, wrote all his medication info, etc. saying that the visit is cancelled because baby's Dad said "No!" it would have been nice if they asked him before setting something up with the Aunt/Uncle and me. Oh well....Baby is staying put and that's the way it should be. He should not suddenly be doing weekend visits with people whom he has never even met. Let's start slow people...ya know like an hour (like his Dad gets!)

Ahhh...breathe in breathe. As my friend said...it gave me preparation for the feelings I will feel when he does leave :(

Surprise phone call

No...all surprises are not fun or good :( I got a call this afternoon that baby's aunt and uncle who are caring for 2 of his 1/2 siblings want to take him this afternoon and keep him until Sat. around 2:00 when I will have to pick him up (meeting at a public place). I have totally been blind-sided. He has never met these people and never even had a 1 hour sibling visit with them. I wholeheartedly agree that the siblings need to know each other, etc., but how about a little notice next time and work up to an overnight????

The CM sensed my hesitation and asked if giving them my phone number would make me feel better. Uummmmm...not really! I expected that for crying out loud! Starting slow would make me feel better, but that's foster care...you do what you are told to do :(

The CM said she would give them strict instructions to call me if at any point they felt overwhelmed or needed to me take him back. I just don't understand their urgency to do this long overnight right away.

Ahhh...the tears started flowing as I realized the yucky truth that 'my' baby is not my baby :( He will be leaving me someday in the next several months. Maybe this is God's gentle way of getting me ready?? Of course these people choose the time when he's on 5 meds a day to initiate a visit. Now I have the joy of writing everything out in a hurry and getting all his things together for this evening.

Yikes...this really stinks!

Pulmonologist Appt

The pulmonologist appt went well today :) I walked in and was waiting in a zoo...oh my gosh....about 6 adult and what felt like 100 kids in a small waiting room! LOL! Anyway, I signed in and took my seat waiting for Little Grape's Dad and case worker to show up. Dad arrived first and because I saw his mugshot before I knew who he was. The meeting went well. It is very clear that he loves his son but I am concerned about his age and ability to start all over again with a newborn....by himself. At one point LG was screaming so loud and all he wanted to do was go to sleep. It took EVERYTHING in me to not run over, grab the baby from his arms and put him to sleep in seconds. I had to listen to him scream as Dad tried lots of positions, etc to get him to quiet down. I tried offering suggestions and at one point (when dad did what I said) he fell asleep for about 15 seconds and had he stayed that way things would have been fine, but no...Dad decided to change positions and therefore woke the baby up! I finally gave him a bottle because Dad was getting frustrated and just wanted him to be quiet. I want to make a point to the CM about feeding when he screams just to make him be quiet because I have a feeling that Dad would "go there" frequently when on his own. Of course he took the bottle because he's a piggy!!!! :)

On to the actual appt....LG weighs 15lbs 13oz now :) Chunk!!!! He turns 4 months next week. After getting the history the Dr. is convinced that lots of baby's problems are being caused by reflux. Ahhhhhh......I KNEW it!!! So, in order to clear up his "junky" lungs we are on Pulmicort via nebulizer 2x's a day (oh joy...he hates that thing!) and Zantac and we will go off the Zyrtec and still use the Albuterol as needed. I went to pick up his prescriptions and the Dr. ordered 2 huge boxes of Pulmicort, 5 boxes of Alubuterol and the Zantac. I felt like I was walking out with the whole pharmacy! LOL!! It was so big the bag didn't even fit through the drive through window!

I never had been to the pulmonologist before I became a foster parent!lol! Not sure why God keeps giving us the breathing cases, but at least we have grown in our knowledge :)

Sitting tall!

Oh I wish I could show you the rest of his face....he is sooooo sweet! Look at that smile :) He is loving being able to sit up and see everything from another angle. I put him in this while I do school with my older boys. He sits and plays while we work. I can't believe he's 4 months already! Time flies!!!

Forgot to mention...

I will get to meet Dad at the pulmonologist appt next week. The CM volunteered to watch my kids in the waiting room while I am in talking to the Dr. with the Dad. We both felt it is important to have Dad know what's going on and how to help his son, especially since he lacks confidence anyway. I am actually looking forward to meeting someone who is working so hard to get their child back :) The first meeting is always a bit akward, but the Cm will be there as a buffer :)

Long time!

Wow..I didn't realize it had been this long since I posted! A little update...we just had Baby's CM homevisit today and things are going well :) Dad had to take him to a parenting class and the CM said it was so nice to see him get excited to see the baby and he was showing him off to all the other participants. The referral for his section 8 housing is going in today! She said that 10 are chosen each month, so it will just be which month he is chosen. She is estimating 3-4 months.

Tomorrow we are starting out his unsupervised visits. He has a serious confidence problem about being a Daddy (although he loves his son very much). They plan to start out with a 1/2 hour and then the FRS will come back and see how things are going. I was told that once he has secured housing/daycare, etc that things for the transition will move very slowly to ease Dad into parenting. Sheesh...I wish we had that luxury-LOL! I think it will make it easier for all of us though...saying good bye for the first time is going to be soooooo hard! We love him so much and have experienced all his "firsts" etc. Whew....God calls us to be obedient but He never said it was going to be easy!

Mom is off "doing her thing" and has not had contact in weeks. I think she last had a visit 3 weeks ago. The CM who has been with this mom since '08 knows her so well. She said that mom will resurface in about 2 weeks. Ugh....

Happy Birthmother's Day!

Today we celebrate the women who chose LIFE for their babies to make us a family! They have helped in creating this crazy, active, wild bunch of boys and we are so blessed! Get ready to cry when watching the song.... :)

Court

Today did NOT go as planned....once again. This was our first time front of the new judge. Had it been the judge we had at the beginning this case would done with! This judge has deemed it best to continue to search for LM's birthparents as well get Family Finders started. SERIOUSLY????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They want to search for a family member after 17 months of a stable placement...the ONLY family he knows. I am certain that nothing will come up and this is all part of God's plan, but what a waste of time, energy and money!!! The Guardian lawyer said that should something come up that they would be ready to fight a change in placement. THANK GOD! They also requested that we start some "stuff" toward adoption (without being transferred to adoptions yet) and the judge did grant that, however after she granted she looked at me said "Just because I am ok-ing this does not mean it's a sure thing. I don't want you to get too excited." Ummmmm....ok! Yeah...if Mom/Dad were interested I think they would not have left the state and officially said "goodbye" to their son. I KNOW that I know that I know that I know that LM is our son and I have NO IDEA why God has this continuing to drag on, but it's His plan so we are along for the ride...Next court date is July 19th.

There is so much wrong with the system :( LM will likely be in our care for over 2 years before any kind of permanency is decided. THANK the LORD that he is young and has no idea what is going on!!!

Visit

This morning we met with one of the directors of the agency LM is with. I guess we have her for a month if we have any questions, but starting June 1st we will be switched to the new agency and CM #4! Then when we finally can go to the adoption aspect we will have all new workers again. Such fun on a case that has not gone one step forward in so many MONTHS! We are stagnant BUT we are praying God changes that tomorrow at court!!! It is a TPR advisory and it could go several ways, so I am hoping that things will go (my) God's way!! :-) I'll update tomorrow!!

I still have not heard anything about this weekend or anything else. The extra visit was cancelled, so the FRS is just going to do an extra long visit on his regular day.

We put the baby in the same room with LM last night and neither one woke each other up all night (although LM screamed once and baby is not feeling well again and was up a lot!) We'll see how night #2 goes :)