Today was supposed to be the second try at our homestudy. I got up early, cleaned the whole house only to get a phone call from her saying she thinks we should delay it AGAIN! As you all know trial is December 9th, but on that date the judge *could* sign the actual order OR she could wait a month till her little heart desires to sign it. Nice huh? Next, is the Manifest Best Interest where the GAL will testify as to what she thinks is the best placement for the child. Do you think that could happen at the same time as trial? NOPE! Of course not, that would be too efficient (can you tell I'm annoyed?!) So...that's another hearing AFTER trial...who knows when. And yet another reason we are delaying is because DCF recently changed their fingerprinting requirements and they are no longer good for a year, only 90 days!!! So, since things haven't been happening at all as hoped with the courts our prints will expire in Jan. Add to that our moving in January and it only makes sense to hold off because otherwise she will have to do 2 homestudies.
Sooooooooooo....I have a really clean house, no one coming over and 4 boys to trash it all again this afternoon! Fun times!
Sharing the life experience of becoming foster parents to the least of these!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Another chatty one!
I don't know how this happened, but God gave us 4 little boys who LOVE TO TALK!!!! If you know my husband or I, you know that we are not very talkative people. Most people describe us as shy or quiet. The other day my parents were in town and we drove across the state to a local attraction. We had to take two cars so I took the two big kids and the baby and hubby took my Dad and Little Man. My Dad by nature is a talker!! He'll talk to ANYONE! So when they got out of the car on the way home and he said "I think I found someone who talks more than I do! I couldn't get a word in edge-wise!" I knew that Little Man had told him anything and everything that popped into his little 2 yo brain for the past hour!
Baby is going to be no different it seems. He is a very LOUD child!!! Not only that, but at 9 months he already signs "more, all-done, milk" and he says "mama, dada, cracker, bubba, hi," and I swore that he tried to say "Grandma" and "Grandpa." I guess when you are totally immersed in language ALL DAY that is what is bound to happen :) He intently watches our mouths as we talk and tries to form the same word/words. We were playing with an old cell phone today as he held it to his ear I said "hi, dada!" and he said "i, da" I know some of you would not count that, but I do! We'll see if he can reproduce that sometime soon before an official "he can say two words together!" declaration is made :)
I love this stage of new language discovery...so fun!!!
Baby is going to be no different it seems. He is a very LOUD child!!! Not only that, but at 9 months he already signs "more, all-done, milk" and he says "mama, dada, cracker, bubba, hi," and I swore that he tried to say "Grandma" and "Grandpa." I guess when you are totally immersed in language ALL DAY that is what is bound to happen :) He intently watches our mouths as we talk and tries to form the same word/words. We were playing with an old cell phone today as he held it to his ear I said "hi, dada!" and he said "i, da" I know some of you would not count that, but I do! We'll see if he can reproduce that sometime soon before an official "he can say two words together!" declaration is made :)
I love this stage of new language discovery...so fun!!!
Communication
A couple of weeks ago you remember that Baby's dad sent me a note back? He included his most recent cell number and so I decided that I would text him a picture of Baby and say hello :) He was soooo appreciative, so I have tried to send him a text about baby every several days. We went to a local attraction and I got a cute pic of Baby petting a goat so I sent that to him. He was the first one to send a text on Thanksgiving and was very sweet. I sent him some hard copy pictures on Baby's visit last week and shared one of our family. Now that I am more familiar with him I feel a bit more comfortable communicating with him.
In the long run I think this will benefit us all. It's looking more and more like Baby will not be reunified (the goal is now concurrent)simply because of housing/job and the lifestyle Bio-Dad is living. I am hoping that through sending pictures of our family and keeping him in the loop about what's going on, that he will feel comfortable enough and think "maybe this is the best place for him live." I am praying that this case is not drug out the way Little Man's has. I TOTALLY understand his bio-dad's desire to try to get him back---Duh! Who wouldn't want this sweet baby? but at the same time I am praying that he is realistic about his ability to parent. It's been almost 10 months already and we are no further along. I know that he loves his son, but he also needs to be able to provide a stable home where he will be taken care of the way he needs to be. I don't know the future of course....who knows...maybe God's plan is for Baby to return to Dad and this communication effort will benefit us is that we will get to keep in contact with the amazing boy he placed in our home!
For the upcoming week....PRE-TRIAL for Little Man!!!! Just 13 days away from TRIAL!!!!
In the long run I think this will benefit us all. It's looking more and more like Baby will not be reunified (the goal is now concurrent)simply because of housing/job and the lifestyle Bio-Dad is living. I am hoping that through sending pictures of our family and keeping him in the loop about what's going on, that he will feel comfortable enough and think "maybe this is the best place for him live." I am praying that this case is not drug out the way Little Man's has. I TOTALLY understand his bio-dad's desire to try to get him back---Duh! Who wouldn't want this sweet baby? but at the same time I am praying that he is realistic about his ability to parent. It's been almost 10 months already and we are no further along. I know that he loves his son, but he also needs to be able to provide a stable home where he will be taken care of the way he needs to be. I don't know the future of course....who knows...maybe God's plan is for Baby to return to Dad and this communication effort will benefit us is that we will get to keep in contact with the amazing boy he placed in our home!
For the upcoming week....PRE-TRIAL for Little Man!!!! Just 13 days away from TRIAL!!!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
So much going on :)
We are crazy (GOOD) busy here! Our respite placement is going sooooo well!! He seriously is the most easy going baby EVA! We call him our little Butterball :) Little Grape has shown intense jealousy of both hubby and I..whoever is holding Butterball! He crawls over, grabs our leg or crawls in our lap and then clings to our necks. He will be soooo happy to see Butterball leave tomorrow, but everyone else will be sad. It's just amazing how quickly you can get used to a little one being in your home. We currently have 5 little boys ranging from 6 months-7yrs and things haven't changed much! He is an absolute pleasure :)
In other news...Little Man's child study is going to be today. The woman has to come for 2 hours. Fun! I have a MILLION things to do today and the rest of this week before my parents come as well as house stuff (yeah..we got it!!) etc. Of course it simply had to get done thTODAY. Oh well...
I thought that on trial day that would be it..I have to stop doing this to myself! lol! Apparently the MBI won't be until another hearing after the trial. When that will be I have no idea!! MAYBE this adoption will be done by the time this kid turns THREE!!!!! Good grief!!!
Not much on Little Grapes case...waiting...waiting....I don't think anything of interest will happen until court in January, but with foster care ya never know!! lol!!
In other news...Little Man's child study is going to be today. The woman has to come for 2 hours. Fun! I have a MILLION things to do today and the rest of this week before my parents come as well as house stuff (yeah..we got it!!) etc. Of course it simply had to get done thTODAY. Oh well...
I thought that on trial day that would be it..I have to stop doing this to myself! lol! Apparently the MBI won't be until another hearing after the trial. When that will be I have no idea!! MAYBE this adoption will be done by the time this kid turns THREE!!!!! Good grief!!!
Not much on Little Grapes case...waiting...waiting....I don't think anything of interest will happen until court in January, but with foster care ya never know!! lol!!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Emergency respite!
Yesterday evening I got a call that a foster mom doing respite for another foster family had to "bail" on the respite because of a family emergency out of the country. Can you do it?? Umm....ok! So last night we were blessed with baby "A" He is 6 months old and HUGE!! He rolls, sits and army crawls all over the place! He is the best baby!! He has only cried once, puts himself to sleep, holds his own bottle and is sooooooo laid back! He fits in so well here :) Little Grape is not so fond of him and gave me the death stare when I was feeding "A" this morning, but he's getting used to him now :) The older boys are lovin another cute baby! They've already asked if we can adopt him too!! Big "A" was at breakfast this morning and said "Can we adopt him, and him, and him?" (pointing to the babies and Little Man). Awwwwww....such a sweet heart that boy has under his rough and tough exterior!
I have not heard from anyone including the original foster mom, but supposedly he will be here until next Wednesday! I was just "whining" to a friend yesterday morning about how much we have going on right now and then I just added to it! Oh well...how can you say no? He leaves Wed. and my parents will be visiting on Friday morning! Glad they are understanding!!!
I have not heard from anyone including the original foster mom, but supposedly he will be here until next Wednesday! I was just "whining" to a friend yesterday morning about how much we have going on right now and then I just added to it! Oh well...how can you say no? He leaves Wed. and my parents will be visiting on Friday morning! Glad they are understanding!!!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
What a day!
Today started out rough...it didn't go so smoothly for quite a while but is finally calming down :)
At 5:20 this morning I got a text from Baby's case manager saying she would be here at 7:45 to pick him up. I was very mad! I really like some notice for cryin' out loud! I don't think it's too much to ask. She ended up getting here 45 min. late and I have to say I was not the warmest person to her when she got here. They got back about 2:30 this afternoon and she decided to stay for her visit. I knew she would...I was prepared :) She apologized and said that she sent the text last night but apparently it just came through on my phone this morning. Whatever! Hopefully this never happens again. I think the apology came because our awesome social worker sent her and her supervisor and email (friendly :) ) to note how unacceptable this was. Moving forward!
I sent baby cereal, applesauce, and diced green beans with baby as well as enough formula for 2 bottles. He came home with no food eaten and only 1/2 of one of the bottles gone. That means that b/w 8:30-2:30 he had about 3 ounces of formula! Poor kid
:( Perhaps Dad gave him something from McDonalds (yeck!!) but when he got home he ate the entire lunch I sent plus a 6 oz bottle! He was really hungry!
In one breath the CM said they want to staff for TPR and the next she said we still have to go through the hoop of getting Dad a case plan (probably Jan at court). She was funny because she said "I don't know how a case plan of the exact same thing he was supposed to do for the last 9 months is going to make a difference!" Dad will not sign surrenders and wants a case plan. He has no stable job or housing...still..I see another long case ahead as I said before.
Little Man's CM came today too...he was a 1/2 hour late but at least he came :) We chatted for a bit and LM was very entertaining. He then went on to say he would be out of town till Tuesday because he is going to Puerto Rico to propose to his girlfriend! I asked how long they had been dating and I discovered that he is only 23. He's a baby!!! I think Baby's cm is about the same age! It helped me to digest what happened a bit this week. They are young...that doesn't mean they can't do their job, but I think back to me at 23 and even though I was mature, 10 years and being parent makes things look really different. I felt SO OLD at that point! I even mentioned that to him and he said "You're not old! You're not even 40 yet!" LOL! I used to think 40 was old too...now that it's getting much closer I'm having different thoughts...that's only 5+ yrs away. I seem to blink and 5 yrs is gone!
Well...we may be moving very soon and I am dreading having to pack all our stuff we have collected in the 3 yrs we have been here! Tons of stuff for foster care that we didn't have to move last time-lol! At least we will have a place to store it all now :) I should hold up a bit...the offer hasn't been accepted, but I'm believin'!!!
At 5:20 this morning I got a text from Baby's case manager saying she would be here at 7:45 to pick him up. I was very mad! I really like some notice for cryin' out loud! I don't think it's too much to ask. She ended up getting here 45 min. late and I have to say I was not the warmest person to her when she got here. They got back about 2:30 this afternoon and she decided to stay for her visit. I knew she would...I was prepared :) She apologized and said that she sent the text last night but apparently it just came through on my phone this morning. Whatever! Hopefully this never happens again. I think the apology came because our awesome social worker sent her and her supervisor and email (friendly :) ) to note how unacceptable this was. Moving forward!
I sent baby cereal, applesauce, and diced green beans with baby as well as enough formula for 2 bottles. He came home with no food eaten and only 1/2 of one of the bottles gone. That means that b/w 8:30-2:30 he had about 3 ounces of formula! Poor kid
:( Perhaps Dad gave him something from McDonalds (yeck!!) but when he got home he ate the entire lunch I sent plus a 6 oz bottle! He was really hungry!
In one breath the CM said they want to staff for TPR and the next she said we still have to go through the hoop of getting Dad a case plan (probably Jan at court). She was funny because she said "I don't know how a case plan of the exact same thing he was supposed to do for the last 9 months is going to make a difference!" Dad will not sign surrenders and wants a case plan. He has no stable job or housing...still..I see another long case ahead as I said before.
Little Man's CM came today too...he was a 1/2 hour late but at least he came :) We chatted for a bit and LM was very entertaining. He then went on to say he would be out of town till Tuesday because he is going to Puerto Rico to propose to his girlfriend! I asked how long they had been dating and I discovered that he is only 23. He's a baby!!! I think Baby's cm is about the same age! It helped me to digest what happened a bit this week. They are young...that doesn't mean they can't do their job, but I think back to me at 23 and even though I was mature, 10 years and being parent makes things look really different. I felt SO OLD at that point! I even mentioned that to him and he said "You're not old! You're not even 40 yet!" LOL! I used to think 40 was old too...now that it's getting much closer I'm having different thoughts...that's only 5+ yrs away. I seem to blink and 5 yrs is gone!
Well...we may be moving very soon and I am dreading having to pack all our stuff we have collected in the 3 yrs we have been here! Tons of stuff for foster care that we didn't have to move last time-lol! At least we will have a place to store it all now :) I should hold up a bit...the offer hasn't been accepted, but I'm believin'!!!
Friday, November 4, 2011
THANK YOU!
Every time baby has a Dr. appt or has learned a new trick I send bio-dad a note to tell him what happened. Today was no different. He hadn't had a visit in over 4 weeks so I updated him on what baby can now do and what happened at his 9 month well-child. I was SHOCKED to get a note back that said the following (spelling as it is in the note)...
"Thank you so much for takeing real good care of him for me. You are truely god's gift to the world."
That's too much, but it is so nice to hear THANK YOU! Of course I don't need it, but I am a "words of affirmation" person, and it's just such a nice change of pace from Little Man's mom!! We don't do what we do for him, the agency, etc...we don't do it for "props" or recognition...we do it for God and for Baby and we are so blessed that "S" has a peace that his son is well taken care of and doing great!
A great way to end the week :)
Additionally, we went to a training last night where we learned that our FDS has to now do all her home visits WITH a case manager quarterly. Our FDS emailed both our CM's and both want to do their visit with the FDS next week. The poor FDS was just out a few weeks ago and I'm not sure what she's going to do, but I sure am jealous that her emails are responded to so quickly-LOL!!!
Ohhhh...and we are doing respite next week for 3 days for a GIRL :) She is almost 2 years old. Should be fun!!
"Thank you so much for takeing real good care of him for me. You are truely god's gift to the world."
That's too much, but it is so nice to hear THANK YOU! Of course I don't need it, but I am a "words of affirmation" person, and it's just such a nice change of pace from Little Man's mom!! We don't do what we do for him, the agency, etc...we don't do it for "props" or recognition...we do it for God and for Baby and we are so blessed that "S" has a peace that his son is well taken care of and doing great!
A great way to end the week :)
Additionally, we went to a training last night where we learned that our FDS has to now do all her home visits WITH a case manager quarterly. Our FDS emailed both our CM's and both want to do their visit with the FDS next week. The poor FDS was just out a few weeks ago and I'm not sure what she's going to do, but I sure am jealous that her emails are responded to so quickly-LOL!!!
Ohhhh...and we are doing respite next week for 3 days for a GIRL :) She is almost 2 years old. Should be fun!!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Dear Orphan
Dear Orphan,
I saw your picture today and heard about your plight. Your face is so beautiful and sad, and it tugs at my heart.
I hear you don't get enough to eat, and that there isn't always medicine if you get sick. You sleep in a room with many children, but you still feel alone.
You have never had anyone wish you a "Happy Birthday", give you a gift, or even sing you a lullaby goodnight. No one has ever told you about Jesus or that He loves you.
I wish we could adopt you, but....
It is such a long way to travel, it would cost so much money, and it involves so much paperwork.
Our home isn't very big, and we already have children. Adding another child to our family would mean they would have to share a bedroom as well as our love and attention.
What if you have health issues or special needs that are not yet diagnosed?
You might have a hard time adjusting to a family after never knowing one, or have "issues" from years of neglect, malnutrition, mistreatment, or abuse.
I'm sorry, it just feels like too much of a risk and sacrifice. Adoption doesn't really feel like our "calling". Maybe there is another family....
Written by Amy B.
http://justamomofseven.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-wish-i-could.html
I saw your picture today and heard about your plight. Your face is so beautiful and sad, and it tugs at my heart.
I hear you don't get enough to eat, and that there isn't always medicine if you get sick. You sleep in a room with many children, but you still feel alone.
You have never had anyone wish you a "Happy Birthday", give you a gift, or even sing you a lullaby goodnight. No one has ever told you about Jesus or that He loves you.
I wish we could adopt you, but....
It is such a long way to travel, it would cost so much money, and it involves so much paperwork.
Our home isn't very big, and we already have children. Adding another child to our family would mean they would have to share a bedroom as well as our love and attention.
What if you have health issues or special needs that are not yet diagnosed?
You might have a hard time adjusting to a family after never knowing one, or have "issues" from years of neglect, malnutrition, mistreatment, or abuse.
I'm sorry, it just feels like too much of a risk and sacrifice. Adoption doesn't really feel like our "calling". Maybe there is another family....
Written by Amy B.
http://justamomofseven.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-wish-i-could.html
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Little Man's mom has been emailing again. It is soooooo hard for my flesh to not respond. Below are a few snippets from her last email. How do I respond to this? After 2 years she is asking me this question? I want to give her a fleshy response, but of course I will not! I'm going to have to keep trying to give her very neutral answers until everything is settled in court. I seriously think that in her mind (she does not regularly take her meds) that time stopped when LM was taken away. She could not possibly fathom that LM does not miss her or wonder what happened to her. Of course a very long time ago he wondered, but his current life is all he now remembers (thank you Jesus!)
do u want me and "m" to be reunited. do u think in your heart that he could be at his full potentail with me? i hope things go good for us both.
i cant wait to see the pics just thinking of them makes me want to cry i hope i get my baby back i know he misses me and wonder what happen to me.
I am used to dealing with "A's" birthparents, but this is ohhhhhhhhhhh so different! Dec. 9th cannot come quick enough :)
Due to the results of the last hearing our homestudy has been pushed back to the end of November. Sigh...one day this will all be over :)
do u want me and "m" to be reunited. do u think in your heart that he could be at his full potentail with me? i hope things go good for us both.
i cant wait to see the pics just thinking of them makes me want to cry i hope i get my baby back i know he misses me and wonder what happen to me.
I am used to dealing with "A's" birthparents, but this is ohhhhhhhhhhh so different! Dec. 9th cannot come quick enough :)
Due to the results of the last hearing our homestudy has been pushed back to the end of November. Sigh...one day this will all be over :)
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