Drama

Drama! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!! I dropped Baby off today and as he clung with his entire little body to mine I literally started to feel like I was going to get sick. Do you know that feeling? He DID NOT want to go and Uncle literally peeled Baby off of me. Good thing I keep plastic bags in the car! :(

After that I took my other kiddos to an egg hunt and they all had a great time! I think this was Michael's first real time "hunting" :) They got a TON of eggs and had a fun time!

We had about 1/2 hour in between getting done with the egg hunt and picking up baby and I got a text from Dad asking why we were trying to adopt Baby "behind his back" Ahhhh...I am so tired of this drama! I had to explain to him AGAIN (see t-shirt post!!) that he needs housing or they are going to have us adopt him (if he surrenders) or Baby will live with aunt/uncle. He replied back that Baby is all he has and if he loses him it will be like he is dead. He ended it with "I need help" Honestly my heart breaks for this guy! He is old enough to be my Dad (not too far away in age from my real Dad) and he is the victim of poverty and part of the cycle. He doesn't know how to do anything different :( He said that he got a place and that he is working out of town to get it. I replied with "really? As in you are living there and it's safe for Baby?" I got no text in return. Having the application for a place and having a place are so different!

He doesn't have the forethought to think.....I'm working out of town. Who is going to take care of baby while I am away? He also doesn't think or acknowledge that these out of town gigs are short-term and not a permanent way to support a child. I don't know what happened to the other job?????

Sigh.....still looking for that neon sign from God! :) The past several days I keep reading/hearing stories of how foster children leave the foster parent's home but weeks, months and even years later they return to the foster parents forever. When something like that happens to me over and over I sit up and pay attention. Maybe the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me something...prepare me for something. The next two months are going to be the fastest and slowest months all at the same time!

Shining Star

Last night was our licensing agency's foster parent appreciation banquet. It's a nice night out with your spouse (if you have one) with dinner and awards to show how much we are appreciated as foster parents. We love our agency and especially our FDS! It's amazing to be part of agency where it seems like everyone on the staff is so talented at what they do and truly do care about foster parents. :) We won this "shining star" award this year!

As hubby and I were talking (in a QUIET car!) on the way there we were discussing Baby's case and talking about shining light into the dark places. Much like roaches or some other nasty thing like that...when light is shone on someone's dark places they want to hide and cower. They create masks to wear to cover that darkness or simply just flee from you. Interestingly enough, one of the speakers was talking about just that! Letting our lights SHINE to those dark places of foster care where people would rather not go. "Hide it under a bushel? NO!! I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!"

T-shirt

OH YES! I want THIS t-shirt :)

Current Favorite!

I love this song! It speaks to so much of what is going on right now. The words highlighted below are so true! He knows and we don't!

You lead, I'll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow,
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way,
You guide me tenderly,
When you lead, I'll follow,
Just light the way and I'll go,
Cause I know what you got for me is more than I can see,
So lead me on, on, on and on,
Just lead me on, on, on and on,

Lies

I really wonder how people (namely Baby's social worker and her supervisor) sleep at night when they tell such blatent LIES that affect the life of a CHILD. To them my Baby is a name on a piece of paper who has been on their books for over a year now. Their agenda is to get him off their books and it seems like they will do anything to get that accomplished. Oh....apparently they don't realize that #1 they are up against GOD! #2 They are up against a Mama Bear willing to fight and #3 they are up against a GAL who truly cares for this sweet Baby and wants to see him adopted into a loving and stable home.

Ohhhh...Rak Chazak!!!

The following is a quote that I feel is so pertinent!

The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came. Anticipate your battles; fight them on your knees before temptation comes, and you will always have victory.- R.A. Torrey

Oh I have been on my knees for this boy and his case for so long now. I am praying and fasting and I BELIEVE that the TRUTH will be revealed and that they will not be able to sleep until the truth is told and their consciences CLEAR!

Wow...we have been foster parents for nearly 2 1/2 yrs and both cases have been sloppy and messy. I read a lot of other foster care blogs that seem to have much clearer/(dare I say) easier(?) cases. I have to admit I'm a bit jealous! lol!!

Meeting?!

I got a text from Dad yesterday saying that he has a meeting with the CM to "discuss things" when he gets back in town next week. I was sure to let him know that he has options and he DOES have a voice and say in where Baby lives (if not with him). I of course let the GAL know of this meeting so Dad gets more than just the agency's side (who desperately want a quick close to this case!) Praying for revelation for Dad! :)

Another lockbox idea

Hubby was out shopping for some things for the house and found this at Lowes! I have several things that I like to keep in my kitchen for everyday or more frequent use and this is perfect for keeping those things there and still obey the rules :) The other stuff I keep in my other lockbox. Just another idea to keep in mind if you are looking for something!

Out of town

Ugh...I am so sick of this "out of town" excuse! Dad missed the meeting last week because he was out of town and I just got a text that he is out of town again and won't see Baby until next week. I think that all of us have lost hope that Dad will do what he needs to do before court. The GAL is working overtime on this and she said that they are talking to the attorney and that Dad DOES have a say in where Baby goes. Of course Dad will need to TALK to the GAL! He won't return her calls and I have told him a couple of times to call her but he hasn't. SIGH!

On a good note....we had a new babysitter approved in record time so we can go to our foster parent appreciation banquet. A kid-free evening :)

We are planning an adoption/birthday party for our little guys coming up pretty soon! It will be fun to have the people who have supported and prayed for us together to celebrate! All our boy's b-days are within the first 6 months of the year as well 2 adoption days and 2 gotcha days, so we decided to throw it altogether and have playground/swimming and a cookout! Of course we are very sad none of our family will be there to celebrate with us :(

Daddy's favorite team

Yeah...we expect he'll be in the real jersey in the future! 

From the archives

It's so fun to look back at pictures/videos of when my kiddos were little.  Back at this time Michael was about 12-13 months and he would ride around on this little motorcyle.  My older kids then ended up renting a video from the library called "Michael, Michael Motorcyle!"  The name stuck for quite a while :)

Respite

Here we go again! This time it's a 1 yr old girl! I haven't had a chance to speak to the foster mother directly yet, but it will be from Friday night to Sunday night. My kids are so excited and have lots of things planned for her (star wars play, cars/trucks, etc)...ya know what every girl wants! lol! If we do ever get a girl placement I'm going to have to do some major toy shopping for a few more gender neutral or girl toys! :) I'm not sure "how 1" she is...meaning is she still a babyish 1 or a closer to 2. I could have twins this weekend! Andrew has already said "Mom, I don't think {baby} is going to like this!!!"

Sweet

I had this enormous sense of peace when Baby's GAL came over today. She picked him up (and he didn't cry!) and just gave him the sweetest hug as tears rolled down her face! Of course that made my tears start to flow and we had a nice moment just lovin' on Baby!

She knows.....she was the guardian for the two siblings that the aunt/uncle have. She knows what kind of a life he'd be going to. She knows what kind of parents they are. She knows that their biological son is given everything while the siblings are given the bare minimum. She knows what kind of health issues he will most likely have (both are morbidly obese from poor diet). She knows and she has seen and was just overcome with emotion over what happened yesterday.

I have HOPE that **something** will happen and I pray that Baby gets to remain here. Like my sister said though...even if he does go, nothing that we have poured into Baby over the past year+ will come back void...God promises! We gave him the very best start to life we could and we can rest knowing that God will take care of him no matter where he is. GOD IS IN CONTROL....this is my mantra daily, hourly and sometime by the minute! :)

Not what I had hoped for....

Dad didn't show, the aunt/uncle appeared by phone and lied through their teeth. Pretty much it was stated that this case needs to close and that is all there is to it. The aunt/uncle want Baby. He will stay with us at least till the next court hearing. If Dad does what he needs to do...we'll reunify. If he doesn't, we will change Baby's placement to the Aunt/Uncle. Either way, come June Baby will probably be leaving.

Since everyone is pretty sure Dad will not do what he needs to, they want to increase Baby's 4 hour visits to 6 in a few weeks. Remember when I said that the only reason they started visiting was because I thought PG was presented to them? Yep...I was right :(

I want to throw up....seriously! I have no peace about handing my Baby over to these people. My prayer continues to be that Baby's Dad has a realization that if he surrenders and lets us adopt Baby then he can stay in his life with an open adoption. Frankly, if Baby goes to Aunt/Uncle I don't think that he will see much of Baby at all.

SAD SAD SAD!!!!!!!

Pictures

I went to Moosie's bio-mom's myspace page and found some pictures of him when he was an itty bitty!! They unfortunately are not of great quality (very blurry) but just an idea for those of us who may have children who will question that time of their life. I plan to print them out and tuck them away with some of the other photos I have of her and the one I have of his bio-dad. This way I can show him at least a few of these photos (some alone, some with bio-mom) and he has something to connect with that time in his life.

I have a lifebook for all my kiddos and Moosie's has turned out to be very long so I have to cut back on some pictures, but it is something I am working on and I truly enjoy looking at these books with my kiddos one-on-one and talking about just how special each one is :)

Question for ya'll

See the poll listed at the side :-) This is our first adoption where this has come up! Thanks and please leave a comment with any description/explanation!!!

Pushed Up

I got a text at 10:30 this morning from Baby's case manager saying she emailed me back. This in and of itself is HUGE! I just don't get emails back from her. I got home from church and looked to see that she had emailed TWICE....WOAH! Knock me over with a feather! lol!

One was to say that she needed to know the visit dates (with uncle/aunt) and reasons for missing. Yep..good thing I keep good notes :)

The other was to say she has explained sibling visits several times to Dad...apparently he isn't getting it. She also included that the staffing set for April 17th has been moved up to TUESDAY! She is inviting uncle/aunt as well so we can all have a round table about permanency for Baby. Could be a very BIG meeting!

Warning...vent!

Annoyed is the word of the day! I warned Uncle that Baby has a cold. Nothing serious, nothing stopping him from doing anything, just lots of snot! lol! He calls me when I am 15 min away from meeting him to ask how he is doing. I told him and he said ok...he was leaving. FF to 1 min before I get to the meeting place. I get a text saying he never picked up the car seat from his friend....can he borrow mine for today. Ummm...nope sorry I don't lend mine out. He said he would stop at Walmart and buy one. Wow! OK...why didn't you do this YESTERDAY! He was a 1/2 hour late. I had 4 kids in the car and I was not so giddy when he got there. He messes with the seat for at least 5 min and then stops, looks at me and says "I need help!" He couldn't figure out how to loosen the straps-lol!

In between I took my other kiddos to the zoo! We had a great time but while I'm there I get a text asking if I want pick up to be 1:30. Ummm...Nope again! YOU were a 1/2 hour late. I was there on time. We are meeting at 1:00. I am there at 1:00. He did not get there until 1:20. UGH! I hate it when my time is not respected :(

Baby's dad texted today and asked how he was. I told him fine and that he saw his brother/sister today. He wrote back that he was very upset. He knew he had a visit a couple of weeks ago but apparently didn't realize they were ongoing. He is now mad at ME. UGH! What the heck? Now he doesn't want the tickets to the Children's Museum. I tried to explain to him that I have NO CONTROL over these visits and if he is unhappy about them then he needs to talk to the CM. I told him that when he gets Baby back it will be his choice if he lets them visit or not, but it's not up to me right now and it's not up to him.....it's not ME he should be mad at. Sheesh! Shoot the messenger huh? I think that is some real motivation for him to get Baby back...so he can have control to not see the aunt/uncle. Nice huh? :( I am still wondering about the PG and aunt/uncle. Dad would FLIP!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS OFFICIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is our family :) The kids were crazy busy/curious in the courtroom but overall did ok :) No one wanted to state their name for the court, but all of them were enthralled with the baliff's handcuffs and gun! Nice! The judge was sweet and even let Moosie sit in her chair and mess with her computer-lol! Oops! We were blessed to have our adoption worker, our licensing social worker (who has been there from day 1!) and his case manager there.
What does a 2 yr old boy want to do to celebrate? Eat a hamburger of course!!! Yum!!!
Our handsome little dude! He brought flowers in for the judge and every single woman (and even some men) commented on just how adorable he was in his suit with flowers! The judge was pleased to receive them as well.

It feels so insane to think that we are DONE!!!!! As we were saying goodbye to the judge she said "come back soon!" Uuuummmm....we'll see huh?!

Baby's Dad just texted and I mentioned we just got back from court to adopt our son and he texted back worried that I meant Baby! Uuuuhhhhh....no! Don't worry you'd be notified! lol!

Reflections

WOW!!!! The day is finally HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's almost surreal!

We've adopted twice before, so we have had two previous finalizations/adoption days, but for some reason this one was feeling so much more "BIG!" I was thinking/praying about it and the words "the fight" were brought to my mind. If you have ever adopted before you know the spiritual warfare that goes along with that. However, with foster care it's not the same. The roller coaster of emotional ups and downs, fighting with all that you have to keep this child in a safe and healthy environment just does something else additional to you.

Our other adoptions were both 4-6 months from start to finish. Today marks 2 yrs 3 mos and 15 days of the fight for our son! With our other children we *knew* they were ours...there was no one else fighting for them. With Moosie there was constant struggle. God had the victory from the beginning, but that didn't mean the battle didn't have to happen!

Today we CELEBRATE the victory that God has given Moosie and our family and we REJOICE that at 3:30 this afternoon he will be our son FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Children's Museum

I am slowly starting to go through the non-essential boxes from our move..ya know, the ones that usually sit there for years! lol! I'm really trying to avoid that this time around, but ummm...I don't know if I will be successful. As I was going through some papers I found our new yearly passes to the Children's Museum ( we are blessed with these through my husband's work) and realized that they gave us 5 free passes too for guests! My mind started to think about how I wanted to invite particular people or I could use them when my sister and her kids come for a visit next month. Then God said "Give them to 'S' for his visit with Baby."

I decided to text "S" and see if he was interested...what a great opportunity to actually DO something on a visit rather than ride the bus! I know he doesn't have the money to go places like that and Baby loves it there! He was very grateful and sounded excited :) I can't wait to hear how it goes and hopefully he'll snap a few pictures for me too! It has me thinking of more ways I can reach out to birth parents (him and any future ones?? :) ) in these simple but powerful ways. How can my life/actions influence them in positive ways? :-)

Ooohhh...and I just got an email that our adoption worker has another hearing so our time is getting pushed up! It's just 45 min or so, but I'll take every second that my boy is ours FOREVER! :-)

Not a lot...

When the CM arrived yesterday she had no idea about Dad's apt. I told her when he was moving in and her comment was "oh nice...2 days before the case plan expires!" She didn't go into any other details when she got back. She did mention that Dad thinks he needs another haircut. NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! It finally is growing back and looking decent :) Thank God she said as much to him!

In other news...Mr. Wonderful Uncle texted me this morning and confirmed for a visit on Sat. again. I am happy that they are doing every other week so hopefully Baby isn't so scared each time. If Dad gets Baby back they won't hardly seem him again. Oh the waiting to see where this is going is so hard! Just trying to soak up every minute of his sweet cuteness (not the tantrums because lunch is over!)

Just 2 more days till court!!! Moosie woke up this morning and the first thing he said was "Do I get to be adopted today Mom?" How sweet is that??? The boy has gone over what he is going to wear and who is going to be at court about 100 times! :-)

Sharp right!

The last couple of weeks I have had adoption on my mind with our sweet Baby. Today that thought took a sharp right away from adoption and back towards reunification! Dad texted me to say that he is moving into a 1 bedroom apt on the 29th! Wow...it's been 13+ months and he hasn't managed to do this yet. I guess they should have made him have a case plan sooner and that could have got his booty in gear! From what I have heard from his CM since he is non-offending there is no waiting/maintaining period (job/housing). As long as he has it....that's it...we can work toward reunification!

This scares the tar out of me! Just being real and honest here. While I am ALL FOR reunification it has to be appropriate! Of course there will be a homestudy done and he'll have to have things like daycare, etc in place first, but umm....here we go! :( I worry so much about Dad's ability to parent a child alone...he has NO ONE! Of course I will extend myself as a resource to him, but that's about it. He has burnt bridges with aunt/uncle and his children don't even want to be around him (his grown children). Of course there is the chance that something happens between now and then...lots could happen, but it looks like we are headed toward reunification. Deep breaths!!!!!! I really didn't think he was going to be able to do it..... The next staffing will now look drastically different! Breathe in, breathe out!

What do you do??

For those of you who have adopted one of your foster children, what have you done for workers (if anything) at the adoption hearing??? I especially want to honor his GAL who has been with us from day 1 and Moosie has a special bond with :) At the same time I don't want to show up with a gift for her and no one else. What about the lawyer? adoption worker? cm? (not sure if he will even be there) etc???

So.....hit me with your ideas!! What gifts/ideas do you have? At Christmas I gave his GAL a photo book of our time together from day 1 through Christmas...guess I should have saved that idea huh?! I can't believe that in 4 short days this case is coming to a CLOSE!!!!!

Fantastic Four

Well it seems as though we are staying a family of 6 for now. Hubby just feels like now is not the time to add to our family and I have to respect that. I don't want to jump into another situation without it being a 100% mutual decision. I trust that God has that little one (and all the others!) in His hands and a home will be found. If and when we are supposed to increase our family then I trust God will make that clear to us. For now we will just be open to temp situations and respite. A couple of my munchkins are going through some hard phases(?) right now, so in all honesty I am totally o.k. with his decision although my heart wants to take them all in!!! :)

Conversations with kids

After I told Moosie that we have a court date he said...

"Oh good! Now I get to be adopted!" Coming from a 2 yr old's mouth (or any child for that matter!) is so precious. He later was talking to my mom and she asked how things were going for him and he said "I gonna get adopted!" He has no clue what that really means other than it's a good thing! :) We celebrate adoption here and the kids get excited about it!

Yesterday we received an email saying our county intakes were way up and most of the available beds were full. They asked (everyone) to think about increasing capacity, going outside your profile, etc. I started to pray about it and was going to talk to hubby. Well..that didn't happen! I got side-tracked and forgot about it.

FF to this morning when I got an email from the supervisor at our agency asking us to consider a 5 month old baby boy! Ok... first the 5 months hit me, then the male thing! God must really think I need practice with boys!! Am I not getting this right God??? LOL! Anyway, as you read several posts ago, I am not sure where we are at with this! I called hubby (it took forever to get a hold of him!) and I asked him to pray about it and I will defer to his being the head of the household and leave it at that. If he says no then I trust that God has told him that and God has another home for this little one to go to. The supervisor said that the baby is in a temp home until Monday so we have a bit of time.

It's really weird, but I think I am ok with either decision. It will definitely be hard to have 5 boys, stuff them in my car, the logistical stuff, etc. but we'll be ok :) If we are not to be his family, I am totally full with my fantastic four! Your call God!!!

After thinking/praying about it for a bit I asked my older kiddos what they would think of another little baby in the house. Andrew's response was "Oh yeah! Then we can adopt that one too!" Their sweet little hearts are so full! Of course that may change a bit when Mommy is stretched just a bit thinner, but it's so wonderful to think that my kids will welcome anyone with open arms into our family! They've never had to say good-bye to anyone...yet!

I'll keep you updated on the final decision!!!

2 years, 3 months, and 15 days

Yes! 2yrs 3mos 15 days later our FIRST foster placement will become our THIRD (official) son!!!! We FINALLY have a date to make Moosie our's FOREVER!!!!! March 16th at 4pm our lives will FOREVER change! That day is our Isaac's birthday and Gotcha Day as well so we have some MAJOR partying to do!!!!!!!!!!! :)

One super happy Daddy and Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby gates

When we moved to our new house we realized that the gate that we had originally mounted at the top of our stairs was not going to work here. We needed an angle mounted one to fit the wall correctly. Ugh! We now have a nice collection of gates...I think we are up to 4. Anyway, I started looking on all the kid sites and found one for 89.95 that seemed good. Oh wait....I found another good one for $63! Woo Hoo! I got distracted with something and didn't get to order it that day. When I did another search days later a website came up for dog gates. Hmmm.....it was the *EXACT* same gate as I was going to purchase except it was marketed toward dog owners and only $39.95! :) Since it was the exact same gate I assume you can imagine where I ordered from! Something to remember if you are in the market for a baby gate.....check the dog sites! LOL!!!

The aftermath

It really hasn't been as bad as I had expected...THANK YOU LORD! He is sleeping fine. The only issue is that he is super clingy! His cm came today to get him as usual for his visit with Dad and he cried and clung to me. He had been doing really well with these visits and I explained to her that this is what happens when you hand a baby over to strangers...he's a smart baby and he knew why she was here! :(

Dad usually texts me to tell me if he has money to buy Baby lunch or if he would like me to send one. I got a text yesterday saying they were going out to eat. Great :) Last night I had to take my5 yo son to the ER because he broke his arm (ahhh!) Well, while there my cell battery died and I didn't plug it in until this morning after Baby left. There was a message from Dad saying he didn't end up getting paid yesterday and please pack a lunch. Ummmmm......too late! I texted the CM and asked her to give Dad a couple of bucks so Baby could eat! Sheesh! Thank God she had $5 on her :)

Let me tell you how "nice" it was to be sitting at the hospital with a child not having to worry about notifying a parent, CM, GAL or anyone else that he was there-LOL! Life as a foster parent :) In the past 4 months 3 of my children have been in the ER/admitted....I am praying over #4 like crazy! :) Moosie was his finger, then Baby with RSV and Isaac with a broken arm from those evil monkey bars!!! We've had the same doctor twice (I really like him) and several of the same nurses. Maybe we can get a frequent member card or something! lol! I knew Isaac would be the first with a broken bone and I know we have many more visits to the ER ahead with 4 wild boys!!

As a little side story...let me tell you it was the most interesting ER visit yet! In the 1/2 or so we had to wait we met the "toothless" family (children have no tact!lol!), the lady crying/vomiting/and "acting scary" and then there was the girl who was clearly not mentally stable who walked up to me, got in my face and asked me to cut her hospital bracelet off (she also later asked someone for alcohol too and stood in the vomiting woman's face and kept asking how old she was...the cuts up this girl's arms were hard to look at :( ). Once we were finally in the back (only separated by a very thin curtain) a 13 yr old girl was getting Baker Acted :( Rough night in the ER!

We survived!

This morning Uncle and I met at a local fast food restaurant 1/2 way between our houses. At first Baby just clung to me loosely and nestled his head in my neck. When I actually had to hand him over he clung for dear life! He began screaming at the top of his lungs and the sheer terror on his face was simply heartbreaking! After a little more reassurance and "I love you" I kissed him goodbye and drove off. I had a lump in my throat and felt nauseous.

The pick up was with both Aunt/Uncle. She was giving him lots of kisses and "auntie loves you!" She said he had a couple times of crying, but that food got him to stop (Trix cereal). She asked me for my email address for the 3rd time to email me pictures. Thankfully Uncle stepped in and said he had it. These are not the type of people to follow through, so I am not expecting anything, but I had originally requested them so that I could help to prepare Baby through pictures/discussion about these people that drive off with him.

He was sleeping when we arrived, so when I got him in my arms he was totally confused and have asleep still. I put him in his car seat and he just smiled when he saw Moosie :) Brotherly love is strong! He stayed awake in our car and after 10 min or so was being silly and back to his awake self. We haven't been home too long, but he is in bed so hopefully he can get a decent nap yet.

Before we drove off, his aunt told him "see you soon!" I wonder when that will be??? I am so relieved that the first meeting is over and while he may scream initially next time (hopefully it's in 2 weeks as scheduled so he gets to know them and doesn't forget them in between visits) I know he's going to be ok and hopefully he'll understand that he's coming back here.

God reminded me of our sweet Isaac when he came home from Korea. He turned one the day he stepped foot on American soil! He had been with a foster family in Korea from just a couple of days old until the day he left. Ohhhh how God has given me a new appreciation for what that woman experienced. It's amazing being on both sides. As a foster parent, even if my 1 yr old leaves me, I know that ultimately he'll be ok because God is there with him. God has/is letting me experience both sides and no matter what He's got it all under control!

Where do we go from here?

Where we go from here has been on my mind a lot lately! Soon (and very soon??) we should have a finalization court date for Little Man and then we will have a spot open! Part of me gets excited about this! Part of me is not looking forward to hopping on another roller coaster. Part of me says "We're done with this fostering thing!" Part of me just wants it to be the 6 of us for awhile but keep our license active. Of course every one wants to know when we will have a girl! :)

We have no idea what God is ultimately going to do with Baby's case. With all the PG talk and Uncle suddenly showing up again, I have a feeling that the CM may have approached them about the possibility of PG and I have a feeling they are open to it. Hmmm.....his case could close in the next several months if that is true. Oh can you imagine what my heart would be going through if that were the case???

Sometimes I wish God would give us some little peeks into what the future holds! Of course I understand that would negate the necessity for us to just trust His plan, but the little girl throwing a fit in me wants to know which way to go..NOW! Hee hee!! Frankly if we are able to adopt Baby, Hubby is very hesitant to take another child in because they come and never leave-LOL!! Foster care has not turned out at all what we had expected :) I totally respect and admire large families out there but I think 4-5 kids is probably our limit. That's a lot compared to the avg. 2.5 kids American's have, but I guess I just know lots of really big families so that seems small to us! Of course we're not limiting God or His plan, but just sayin'.... :)

All of this is pretty much babbling, but what's been going through my mind/heart the past several weeks! Waiting for God to reveal His plan for our family....more waiting....why is there so much waiting in this life? lol! I guess it's something we all need work on huh? :)

Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Confirmed!

At even an hour before "required." Here we go!!!!

Sanity!

(For those sick of the uncle saga....delete!)

I just got another text from him saying "the visit is from 9-2 right?"
Me: No the visit is from 9-1. We meet at 1:00
Him: Oh I thought it added driving time. 30 and 30.
Me: Nope. Would you like me send you another copy of the email?
(mind you...this will be the THIRD time he will be receiving this email. Once from the supervisor and once from me with ALL the important things HIGHLIGHTED!)
Him: No your right. Can you send me a copy for my fold tho when you are free?"

Grrr.....deep breathes! He is just one of those people who I have to keep reminding myself "He is God's child too! You are to show him love! God help my heart!" I am already praying over Baby and will do a lot of praying and anointing when he gets back home! :)