Saturday, March 3, 2012

We survived!

This morning Uncle and I met at a local fast food restaurant 1/2 way between our houses. At first Baby just clung to me loosely and nestled his head in my neck. When I actually had to hand him over he clung for dear life! He began screaming at the top of his lungs and the sheer terror on his face was simply heartbreaking! After a little more reassurance and "I love you" I kissed him goodbye and drove off. I had a lump in my throat and felt nauseous.

The pick up was with both Aunt/Uncle. She was giving him lots of kisses and "auntie loves you!" She said he had a couple times of crying, but that food got him to stop (Trix cereal). She asked me for my email address for the 3rd time to email me pictures. Thankfully Uncle stepped in and said he had it. These are not the type of people to follow through, so I am not expecting anything, but I had originally requested them so that I could help to prepare Baby through pictures/discussion about these people that drive off with him.

He was sleeping when we arrived, so when I got him in my arms he was totally confused and have asleep still. I put him in his car seat and he just smiled when he saw Moosie :) Brotherly love is strong! He stayed awake in our car and after 10 min or so was being silly and back to his awake self. We haven't been home too long, but he is in bed so hopefully he can get a decent nap yet.

Before we drove off, his aunt told him "see you soon!" I wonder when that will be??? I am so relieved that the first meeting is over and while he may scream initially next time (hopefully it's in 2 weeks as scheduled so he gets to know them and doesn't forget them in between visits) I know he's going to be ok and hopefully he'll understand that he's coming back here.

God reminded me of our sweet Isaac when he came home from Korea. He turned one the day he stepped foot on American soil! He had been with a foster family in Korea from just a couple of days old until the day he left. Ohhhh how God has given me a new appreciation for what that woman experienced. It's amazing being on both sides. As a foster parent, even if my 1 yr old leaves me, I know that ultimately he'll be ok because God is there with him. God has/is letting me experience both sides and no matter what He's got it all under control!


"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

So hard...... praying for you and through this situation.

StarfishMom said...

So hard to pray 'God, YOU'RE will be done' when the flesh is SO strongly thinking 'I WANT this baby to be MINE!!!'. Trusting God will give you peace no matter WHAT decision is made regarding the baby. xoxo

learning to foster said...

Wow! It would be so hard to hand over a scared screaming child. What's best for the child right? Hmmmmm.....