I'm different

We are quickly approaching 3 years as foster parents!  Gosh it seems like so much longer than that-lol!  I have been thinking back to the person I was 3 years ago and have realized just how different I was....

3 years ago I had rose-colored glasses on to the harsh reality of those living very near to me.  Drugs, prostitution, physical abuse, domestic violence....I'd been shielded and separated from those things. I've learned people do desperate things in desperate times.  People have good intentions but life circumstances and in some cases selfish desires become more important than their children.

I'm different.

3 years ago it was my hubby and 2 sons.  We drove a regular size car and lived a quiet life.  We now have 4 children (completed another adoption), a minivan (and considering something larger), caseworkers and GAL's calling/visiting, court, staffings and family visitations.

I'm different.

3 years ago I truly thought that we would have MANY placements in a short amount of time.  We've had a total of 4 placements.  One was Michael at over 2 yrs, Baby 19 months (and counting), Squirt for 5 weeks, and Bean for 2 weeks.

I'm different.

3 years ago I thought most of our (many) cases would end in reunification.  Fact is that so far NONE of them have ended that way.  :(

I'm different.

3 years ago I loved the Lord, had committed my life to Him and was living for Him.  Now I have learned a WHOLE NEW dependence on Him DAILY!  I have learned what it means to be at peace even though it means I may be hurt.  I have learned what it truly means to sacrifice for another human being.  I have gone deeper in prayer for those in our foster care system and those who are working on behalf of all the innocent children caught up in their parent's mess.  I have increased my faith in Him and that He is who He says He is and I am who He says I am in Him!

I'm different.  Some good, some not so good, some darn right HARD, but God has stretched me, changed me, and loved me in a way where I could never go back to what I was.