Friday, January 14, 2011


Recently there have been two situations in which birthparents have gained access to info about the foster parents. In one situation the birthmother is actually in foster care herself and after a visit the person transporting them brought the infant home first and the birthparent walked her up to the foster parents door! In the second case the birthparent (somehow???) found the foster parent's address and phone number and was constantly calling the foster parent at all hours of the day/night. Both situations just seem totally unacceptable to me! We are here to protect the children from these people that weren't taking care of them, yet they are gaining (or trying to) access to these children in unacceptable ways.

We learned yesterday that Little Man's dad was arrested. He has since been released (early this morning). At about the same time he was released I woke up from a horrible dream that he arrived on our doorstep demanding to see Little Man! In the dream Mr. M confronted him and he ended up getting punched, but stopped "D" until the police got there. In reality this really isn't a huge concern of mine seeing for how long we have had LM and nothing has happened and honestly I don't know if he cares enough to even come looking for LM. I guess looking at his scary mugshot got to my subconscious! lol!


Mandy said...

This is a problem. My friend here who also does foster care was at the dr office the other day for an appt for her foster child and here the bio parents are allowed to attend. The bio mom was trying to look at the file to get my friends info when the nurse had set down the file and then the bio mom tried to follow my friend (the foster parent home). Not okay. Foster parents deserve to have their own privacy and should not have to be afraid that bio parents will come looking for the kids.

We have the problem that we have adopted our foster children and one of the families knows where we live. So B's brother who is 19 needed to find a place to live so he found a apt up the street from us and is now living there with his girlfriend and baby. We have passed him on the street and it totally set B off so now we have to go a different way to go anywhere. He has also been calling our house and so now we have had to block his number (I have seriously considered changing our number so he won't get it as he calls after midnight when he is high).

I can understand where you would have concern. It doesn't sound like LM's dad would be working so hard to find you though. He seems as though he has checked out.

Lynn said...

I think about this problem a lot with our new placement. I have no idea what the bio mom is like. But I've had to update all of Cheerios' medical records to our contact information. I just have to pray that the different doctors' offices will keep that information private. I just don't want to have to face those kinds of confrontations.

MamaFoster said...

it is so easy to look things up, all the need is your last name. mine see my license plate all the time and if they had any "connections" they would easily be able to find us thru that.

i have even googled my phone number (which most of my kid's parents have) and come up with our address.

it is too easy to find people like us, the ever day people that don't move around all the time like these bio just is what it is.

Our Journey said...

We actually have decided to not share our phone number with birthparents because of that very reason. It is all too easy to find out who we are and where we live with just our phone number. From what I have heard from all of the workers, it is a very good thing because she abuses the phone and calls 2-5 times a day. I just don't have time for all that. I am not willing to compromise the safety of all of our children (and ourselves either.) We write in the book every week and see eachother in court. Of course this is our first case, so we will see in the future. Maybe it will be different, but as it stands now we like it that they have no idea where we live!