Question for you readers :)

I recently have had a chance to share my faith (more openly) with one of my little guy's GAL's. For those of you who foster and are Christian I am certain you are praying over the children in your care, but what else do you do to share your faith with "the system?" Have any of you ever experienced one of your workers coming to Christ....or a bio-parent?? Share your experiences please :-) Foster care...a multifaceted experience!

Please pray!

Poor Little Grape has not been feeling well (cough) for about a week now. Last night we were literally up all night! He would not sleep unless in my arms and at that it was a very short time. Today he started with a super runny nose and sneezing constantly. Just a bit ago he started running a fever...I'll keep an eye on it, but if it raises much more we'll be headed to the after hours clinic or ER :( He's too little and I get concerned about RSV and whatever else his little system would have a hard time handling. Even if we don't go in, I forsee another long night ahead, so the prayers for his healing would be much appreciated!! I gotta tell ya that I am over getting puked on because he starts coughing during his feedings and well...here it comes! Little Man also has a nasty cough and the rest of the family has some crazy cold "gunk" too....we could all use some prayers of healing!! I cannot believe that tomorrow he will be 2 months old!!The time has flown and yet it seems like it's been forever since I have gotten a full night's sleep! lol!

So in love!

Several people have commented on the way Little Grape looks deep into my eyes when I am holding him. I have really started to fall in love with this little guy! It's amazing how God has given us this child who did not come from my body and looks nothing like us, but at the same time it feels likes he's ours. I am so privileged to be able to care for this sweet innocent little baby! It's astonishing to thinks that *I* am the person on this earth who knows this child the best! I know what all of his little sounds mean, I know his habits/schedule, I know what each cry means, I am blessed to be the one who he communicates with! He has started to smile for me and moves his entire sweet body and coos while I talk to him. He hasn't done this with anyone else (yet!) He knows my voice and if I am in the room but not holding him, he will look around and try to find me. If I am moving around he will track me around the room! Today A. was holding him and he started to cry because he just wanted to go to sleep. I walked over to him and talked to him and told him he was ok. He just looked at me like "why aren't you saving me???" LOL! He will cry for my husband and when I take him back he completely calms. It's amazing what a connection God can give two people.


Of course there is reality....I know he isn't mine and he will probably be going to live with his Dad in the next couple of months, but I have peace that I have done ALL that I can to get him started out on the right foot (so to speak!) He knows LOVE, he knows his needs will be met, he knows relationship and all will do when he leaves, but have faith that God will carry us through it!

New Developments

So...I got an email today stating that LM's birthmom contact our CM and gave her address in another state (not the one she previously was in) so that she could be contacted. She stated that she is not with birthdad anymore and has no idea where he is! If she only had made that decision so many months ago she may have had a chance at getting her child back. So....the good news is that she can now be properly served!!!! We still need to find Mr. Wonderful though. The court date has been pushed back again :( May 4th is the new date, so hopefully he shows up in one way or another before then, both of their rights will be terminated and we can move on with life!! Wishful thinking? Maybe, but I serve a BIG BIG God and He can do that...yeah no problem!

Now I'm sitting here thinking...what on earth is going through her mind??? Why would she contact the CM unless she thinks that she possibly has a chance at still getting her son back. Yeah...that ship has pretty much sailed, but I wonder if she realizes that??? Seriously....I'm not sure she does :(

2 down 3 to go....

This morning we had LM's CM and our Licensing social worker for their visits. Tomorrow are the 2 GAL's and some other time this week we will have an unannounced from our other CM! They all choose the same week to come every month! Oh well..get it over with :)

Everything went smoothly as usual, but we did learn that the agency our CM works with will be closing their doors May 31st! She wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but well....she likes me! lol! She is going to try her hardest to get us all moved over to the adoption unit and get started on our homestudy early so that we don't have to be switched to the new agency then over to adoption....MUCH appreciated!! No one has heard anything further from b-mom, so that's good and bad. We haven't heard anything from the people trying to find them either though :( April 13th should be an interesting day! Hopefully the judge (who is BIG on permanancy!) will just terminate!!

Wait....wait...wait!

I give up...

I always send Little Grape on his visits telling the transporter exactly when he last ate when he will need to eat again. He only needs to eat once while on his visit....again she/the parents fed him extra...yep a whole extra bottle!!! Just because he will eat another bottle doesn't mean he needs to! That makes 8 ounces in 2 hours for a 6 week old!!!! She said that he "wasn't having none of that" by eating at his normal time (only). I said "he has a lot of gas..perhaps you are misinterpreting gas for hunger?" "Oh no...I know gas and hunger!" Of course, excuse me....I am "only" the person who has fed this child nearly every bottle for the past almost 7 weeks and massaged his tummy (with results!) every time he has a bubble he can't get out, but I bow to your "knowing gas and hunger"! I am realizing that I can say whatever I want and they won't listen, so I guess each week we will just deal with the extra gas/tummy pain (that I will not use a bottle to soothe). Lovely :( Sorry....just needed to vent a little!

His Dad last week bought newborn diapers and the transporter told him that he needed to get size 1. So he returned those and what does he show up with today? Size 2 diapers! She tells them over and over but they just don't "get it." Whatever....he'll be in them eventually. A tad curious though were the rest of the $50 for Little Grape went? He got one box of diapers totaling maybe $15-17 or so. I really wish the transporter had taken the money for the baby and given it to me...I am a deal finder and could have stretched that for diapers/wipes and formula. Again...not in control :(

So that's where this Friday has taken us...I forsee a long afternoon/evening ahead. Someone recently asked my husband how I was doing. His response was that I was doing well, but tired because of being up with the baby. He then was asked "why would she do that for someone else's kid?" The short and easy answer?? " She is doing what God called her (us) to do!" The other night as I was sitting up at 3:30am feeding the baby I started praying and this passage came to mind ...Matthew 25:31-46

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

When I look at LG's sweet little face (or any of my children for that matter) I have tried to picture Jesus looking back at me....even if that sweet face is all scrunched up and screaming! lol! If foster care easy? No! Do I think we are making a mistake? No way!! God has called us to LOVE others...not just when it's convenient for us or when it makes us look good or we want to feel good about ourselves. We are to LOVE when it's not convenient for us, when it's the right thing to do even though it takes sacrifice. We are to LOVE at ALL TIMES!

Not much new...

Not too much happening here lately....it's finally settling down into a routine and we are getting back to a "new normal!" Monday LG turned 6 weeks old and today marks 6 weeks with us :) It is also our I.'s 5th birthday! Good day! :)

LG is growing and getting big. His face is really filling out and those legs are not so "chickeny" anymore :) He watches all that is going on around him very intently and tries to smile/communicate with his entire body and it's so sweet to watch. Little Man continues to drop toys on the baby's carrier/swing/bouncer in hopes that LG will get up and play...to no avail :(! lol! LM is still really good with him and constantly is putting the pacifier in LG's mouth if he cries or hugs and kisses on him constantly!

Nothing new on either of the case recently....we are still waiting to hear if LM's parents have been found/served. The CM is not answering my texts/emails about it, so I have no idea what's going on there! We are just waiting on LG's Dad to get things together. Nothing in either case will really happen till we return to court...the same day for both as mentioned before...about a month! Why do they make us wait so long???? I know..I know...the courts are so bogged down! There are so many cases and they seem to just keep increasing....so sad :(

Conversation this afternoon

I: Mom, why doesn't [Little Man] go on his visits anymore? (LG just got back spuring this)

Me: Because his Mommy and Daddy left this state and live far away now

A: What?! How could his Mommy and Daddy leave ______(Little Man)?? He's so cute!

Me: I have no idea baby. I could never imagine leaving you...and I never will!!!

Sad :(

Little Grape just got back from his visit.

The FRS said the mom asked her today "how old is he?"

Really?? You literally had him just 5 short weeks ago and you don't know??

It's seriously breaks my heart :-(



PS...Dad really did buy the diapers! :) He bought the wrong size so he has to take them back, but hey...he bought them!

Different World

Everyone keeps asking me if Little Grape looks like his Dad or Mom. I saw his mom at court, but haven't met his Dad yet. So, where does a foster parent whose trying to find these answers go?? The arrest inquiries page of the local police dept of course! I was switching back and forth between their mugshots to see which of his features came from each parent! I stopped in the middle thought about just how crazy this is! LOL!!

The verdict....I think he looks more like his Dad, but has a couple of Mom's features too! Everyone always comments on how long LG's fingers are and how tall he will be. That arrest inquiries page also told me that Dad is 6'1 and Mom is 5'6. He just might be tall :)

Update..Praises!

What an afternoon yesterday was!!! I went to the hospital around 12:20 (early as asked) to prepare for our 1:00 ultrasound appt. We waited...and waited...and waited. They were having trouble getting his Medicaid situated. Ok...it's now 2:15 and Medicaid is finally figured out and we have our wrist band now we just need to wait to get called back. We wait...and wait...and wait!! Meanwhile I am trying to keep a 4yo, 1 yo and newborn happy and quiet! They did SO great Uuntil the end, but they were just DONE at that point!! I totally understood!!

Finally at 3:15 we got called back...oh Hallelujah!!! The tech had trouble getting the hip pictures and LG was less than pleased to have his diaper off and he was cold! She sent the pics to the Dr. who was not pleased with how they turned out, so he came down and we did it all over again! His were much clearer. He did the hands-on hip test as well and told me that he'd write a report, but that everything looked fine and we wouldn't have to do anything else!!!! Yay for no brace!!!!

While the Dr. was manipulating and moving LG's hip he peed on the Dr.! I guess that was his way of saying "thanks for making me wait so long and this is what I think of what you're doing to me!" LOL!

My plan for yesterday was to do the ultrasound, be out by 1:30 or 2:00 and have 2 hours to waste before picking up my hubby and son at the airport at 4:00. Ummm...we left the hospital at 3:50 and were 20 min. from the airport, but we swung by and the timing ended up ok even though we didn't get to greet them as they got off the tram. Add in a little rush hour traffic, tired/crabby kids, and less than stellar dinner and that was our night, but it was *perfect* because my "boys" were back home :)

Ultrasound today

Today is Little Grape's ultrasound for his "hip-click." I am taking the 3 kids (1 is out of town) so this should be an adventure! We have to go to the Children's Hospital because the pediatrician wanted it to be done by a Dr. who knew what he was really looking at/for.

The hip-click means that there could be a malformation of the head of the femur, the head is not correctly in the acetabulum (socket), or there is a malformation in the socket itself. An x-ray is not good enough right now because the baby's bones don't show up until 6 months or so. If the hip has one of these problems (because of his age and catching it early) he will have to wear one of these contraptions. Looks like fun huh?! It will hold the hip in the correct position and help it to form normally.

We are praying that it was just a "fluke" and that God has completely healed this part of his hip and no treatment will be necessary!!!

Growing so fast!

I can't believe in just a couple of days our Little Grape will be 5 weeks old!!! It seems like a blur (with so little sleep!) but we have loved having him here!!

He has turned into a little piggie! He now wants 4 ounces every 3-3.5 hours. He has no problem finishing it at all! He doesn't go back to the Dr. until his 2 month check up, so he will probably have gained a significant amount of weight since his last check at 2 1/2 weeks.

He is really starting to get dark. When he first came he was very light skinned but looking at his ears (and other things) I knew he was going to get pretty dark. He is almost to his ear color on his face and most of his body.

We are really excited to get him to smile! We have seen glimpses of it in his sleep, but not socially yet.

He loves movement...the car, going on a walk, rocking, swinging, you name it! He also loves when you sing to him...it quiets him right down :)

He has definite periods of awake time now (some which are in the middle of the night!) He looks around very intently and tracks the other kids' movements around the room. If he hears a voice he will turn his head toward the sound as well!

Now when we get this sleep thing figured out that will make things so much better :-) I know..who expects to get sleep with a newborn??? LOL!

Little Grape's visit

Little Grape visits his Dad on the Dad's lunch break at a local restaurant. Today an older gentlemen approached them and said that LG just had the face of an angel and gave the Dad $50 for LG!!! I was hoping that money would come back with him to get him diapers/formula whatever...it didn't, BUT the FRS said that Dad said he wanted to buy the baby diapers and would bring it next week. This Dad really seems to be stepping it up. He is working 7 days a week so that he can get enough money for a deposit and first month's rent. They are going to have to see it remain stable for awhile and they want him to do a parenting class since his youngest child is currently 18! This Dad isn't the typical young Dad you see in the foster care system. He's 47 I think and really seems to want to do the right thing here, so that's wonderful to see :-) He would have to go to daycare as well and LG isn't old enough yet so we have to wait on that too.

The FRS also remarked about mom's visit and how it's totally different. She sees how I hug and kiss all over him and she said that mom kissed him once and is very disconnected. This mom does not have a good chance of getting her baby back and perhaps she's purposefully staying disconnected...the FRS has been with this particular mother since 08 (I believe) and she just can't seem to get her life together :(

I'm excited to see where this case is going to go and truly believe that Dad can line things up and be the Dad he needs to be!! It may take a few more weeks or even months depending on how long things take, but we are privileged to be the ones taking care of him for however long we get to love on him!

Polite

I have the most polite toddler I have ever met! He is so cute that at 20 months...

**He says "sanks" (thanks) when given anything
**Always uses "peez" (please) when asking for something
**Says "Bess woo" (bless you) when someone else sneezes
**Says "scooz me" (excuse me) whenever he burps or toots!

None of my other kids we consistent in this until they were older!

I was *so* hoping to get to share a picture of him with you yesterday, but now you all will have to wait longer.... :(

So frustrated!

So I get to court about 20 min. early and check with the Baliff to make sure we were still in this court room. He said we were on the docket, but then an attorney (which happened to be b-dad's) said that it was cancelled!!!!!!!!! :( GRRRRRRR!!!!! So it has been postponed until April 13th. The more I think about it this could be a good thing because it will give them more time to find "mom/dad" and serve them the papers to appear at court. That way if the judge does not entertain the "aunt" idea then rights could be terminated on that date. Of course it could still go another way where the judge does entertain the idea, but from what I have heard about both new judges they both really consider THE CHILD...go figure! :)

This cancellation gave me the opportunity to sit in on Little Grape's mother's arraignment. She denied all charges so now we go to pre-trial/trial. Pre-trial just happens to be the same date/time as Little Man again...His mother would not even make eye contact with me (I knew from talking to the GAL that she would not be interested in hearing from me). Anyway, she had the opportunity to see who I was and hear me speak about how well he is doing! Dad was not there b/c no charges have been filed against him.

So....this has not been the day I planned, but God has a plan and I must wait to see that unfold!