Saturday, February 11, 2012

I knew it....

Mr. Uncle man texted me at 7:40 this morning stating he'd be there at 8:30. Ummm...not playing that game sir! I texted him back politely to let him know he needed to confirm my email YESTERDAY...24 hours. He said that was only if there was a conflict with the schedule. I told him that "no, it was EVERY time. I've already made plans for the day." After we agreed that we would try again for next week I emailed him a copy of the original email from the supervisor and highlighted the parts about meeting times and the need to confirm for every visit.

This is all just so ridiculous to me! He is so incredibly passive-agressive it drives me nuts! I have told him on at least 3 occasions (email/texts) that he will also need a car seat for Baby because I HATE taking mine in and out. I wish I had never bought it because it is so difficult. I have a feeling that next week he WILL confirm and when I get there he WILL NOT have a car seat and I will have no choice other than to give him my seat, because if I cancel the visit based on that I'm sure that will be unacceptable. It will be another passive-agressive move where he will get his way. Why can't he just act like an adult?

They have a history and everyone knows them and "how they roll" but because they are family and they have Baby's siblings we have to move through this. Ahhh....once again I am saying "never did I imagine in foster care training that THIS is what I would have to deal with."

But anyway....I will enjoy this Sat. morning with all 4 of my chickadees under our roof :)

7 comments:

Diane said...

I would email the social worker and/or the supervisor to inform the uncle he must have an appropriate car seat, as you already have and aren't sure he understands. Otherwise, the baby will not go with him when you meet him. You shouldn't have to give the uncle yours. It is your property, not the agencies, not even baby's. If they don't want to tell/force him to provide a car seat, tell them you will be happy to hold/make one of theirs available to him during the visit and keep it in your trunk. If they don't give you one and he doesn't have one, don't send baby. If you tell them Monday and they have until Friday to make alternative arrangements, I would feel justified in not sending baby, especially if you have already sent multiple emails to the uncle. Anything else is just enabling bad behavior. Plus, if he takes your carseat, "forgets" it, trashes it, or just makes a mess, that is unacceptable, as you will have no way to tranport the baby home.

MamaFoster said...

i agree with Diane.

Our Journey said...

Thanks Diane! I sent an email off to his CM :) He will have no excuse and it's documented that this matter has been brought to his attention. Baby has a visit on Tuesday with his Dad so I told her that she is more than welcome to leave a car seat then and I will bring it for him or perhaps she can get him to answer the question of if he really has one or not! Thank you for the advice! :)

VolleyMom said...

Sent my car seat once and it came back wreaking of cigarette smoke and they accidentally dumped a soda in it. Pain for me to clean. Never again. It is their responsibility, I agree. Mr uncle sounds kinda jerky.

StarfishMom said...

Not your responsibility to give HIM a car seat! I totally agree w Diane!!

Rhonda said...

It just kills me that these family members are so ungrateful and aggravating to the person that is taking care of THEIR precious nephew. It seems like they would understand what it's like since they are taking care of the other siblings. Reading foster parent blogs have opened my eyes to the nature of some bio families. I know the kids are worth the trouble you go through dealing with their kinfolk, though.

Susan said...

I never, never send my carseat on B family visits. Smoke is an issue, pet hair and what if they get in a fender bender and don't tell you? Your carseat is compromised and you don't even know it. I always aks for a confirmation of a carseat when I get a confirmation of the visit. Here we have rules about the seats being properly installed so I give them a list of places to have the seat installation checked. I have refused to release a baby to an improperly installed carseat. (If I install it, I'm liable, so I don't. Not to be bitchy, but it is a somewhat litigious crowd)