Recipe for an interesting weekend

Take one baby (named Squirt) and place him in a foster home for 6 days.
Then, wake him up from a morning nap with 30 min. notice for a 6 hour visit.
Next, return child around 6pm after visiting both Grandma and Bio-Mom.
Follow up with child being picked up at 8am the next morning for another 8 hour visit (same people)
Return child at 6pm that evening and let the good times roll for the weekend!

The past several days

Usually when we get a new placement it's the child that gets sick....this time it was ME :(  Monday morning I was totally out and by Tuesday it was so bad I had to go to the Dr.  I hate going to the Dr. so my husband knew it was bad-lol!  I have a sinus infection along with strep throat.  I didn't know my throat could get that big! Painful!!

So...that meant that hubby had to hold down the fort with a new placement and our 4 other boys.  He has banned me from ever getting sick again and has demanded I start on a regular vitamin regiment again.  I had fallen off the wagon with vitamins and look what I get??  I am just praying that none of the kiddos get this...it was horrible.  I never would have thought that strep throat could make you feel ttthhhhhhaaatttt bad!

I got a text that due to Baby's bio-dad's test results we are going back to supervised visits but as of today he has not called to ask for his visit for the week.  I imagine he will be outraged when he learns his visits are back to supervised!

I got a call from Squirt's CM's supervisor today as well.  Apparently the CM went on sick leave till next Monday and the supervisor had to call around to find out where the kid even was!  She told me virtually nothing more, but mom was asking for our info so she could call.  The CM also asked.  We don't feel comfortable just giving that info out without having established some sort of relationship first (like meeting them).  Mom gets 8  hours of unsupervised visits each week and the supervisor wanted to separate them into Thursday and Friday.  I told her that next week I would be willing to pick up one day for driving, but this week she was going to have to work something else out.  I do not feel like driving all around town....I just need to rest!  She's going to call me back because apparently Mom is in school (good news!) and doesn't get out until 2 and he has to be back by 5 (when their business day is over). Not gonna add up.

So...that is what this week has been like and it's only Wednesday!  Court for Baby is one week away......

Lonely

Poor Moosie is feeling very alone tonight.  He's missing his partner in crime and roommate.  "But Mommy I can't go to sleep.  Where's Baby????"  Breaks my heart!  Matt's up there now keeping him company till he can fall asleep!

We'll get the crib together and put the new baby in the "foster room" tomorrow :)  Tomorrow night will be interesting with the 2 babies and Moosie!  I think he'll feel much better!

How I'm feeling

Don't you love it when you have heard a song a million times and then one day BAM! it's like you've never heard it before and it speaks directly to your heart?  Yeah...

Information

I have to say, that I am so impressed with this agency already.  I have not heard good things about them, so I was a little concerned.  In our county when a child is brought to you they are to also have a "yellow jacket" which is just a yellow folder with all pertinent information in it.  With our last 2 placements they were virtually empty except for our custody letter.  Not only do I have court documents (whoa!) I also have his medicaid number, names and addresses of workers (there's a reason for this), ssn, the daycare referral (which I don't even need) and even his immunization records!!  She called me twice yesterday to go over the basics of the case and even to let me know she was running late!

I'm not so sure about this case, it's outcome, or the players involved (as in family), but so far I like our new case worker!  If you're a foster parent you know how important that is!!!!!!!

He's here!

Not sure what his nickname will be yet, but "he" is here :)  He is just 3 months younger than Baby but WAY smaller. Baby looks HUGE compared to this little one!  I am really surprised at Baby's reaction to him. He thinks he is funny and wants to play with him.  No jealousy! He ate a good dinner and then we went for a walk and played a little.  He just had a  nice warm cup of milk, rubbed his eyes and I laid him down.  No crying or fussing!  He turned right over and went to sleep.  Oh hallelujah!!!  Praying this trend continues :)  He is a real cutie.

I have no idea how long he will be here.  This seems like a huge drama circle and from reading Mom's history I'm thinking maybe I'll tell the CM that I would rather meet Grandma for her visit-lol!  I'm only  1/2 kidding!  Of course I can't go into details, but uuuummmm she seems like a violent person.  I have a feeling there will be many up's and down's in this case.  Should be another adventure!  I already like this CM WAY better.  She ACTUALLY CALLED ME TWICE!!!  One was just to let me know that it would be a transporter and they were going to be late.  Whoa!  There is already an established GAL on the case as well.  :)  I love our GAL's!

He will certainly aid in keeping my mind busy this weekend!

We're crazy...

So in the middle of all this crazy CM's garbage we decide to do it all over again!  We'll be getting a new placement sometime today...we have no idea age/gender/race...anything!  I got a call from our agency desperate for homes.  SO many kids have come into care today.  We were not on the call list, but ya know...

When he called I was putting together Baby's "goodbye" book being totally realistic here.  The tears were flowing and God gently reminded me that it's not about me.  His plan and scope are nothing that I could even imagine.  We have love and stability to offer another child.  Of course we pray that Baby gets to stay, but sometimes that's just not God's will.

OK....waiting to see how God will provide a bigger vehicle for me!! :-)  Off to clean and organize the best I can before ????? arrives!!!

Connected by 25

I am soooooo excited to get to share what has been hubby's heart.  For a long time now he has had a desire to mentor youth in the electrical field.  To give to them what never happened for him.  He has approached several of his bosses at the Aquarium where he works to see if this could be possible. To create a program where they come in and volunteer with Matt and he teaches them the field experience plus theory!  Much to his surprise they are all enthusiastic about it!!

We spoke with our social worker to see how to linked up with a program within the foster care system.  She directed him to a program called "Connected by 25"  http://www.cby25.org/index.htm  Matt sent an email off and received a reply quickly.  They are very interested in partnering up with Matt and the Aquarium and have a meeting set up next week!  She even wants Matt to get up in front of the students and talk about what he does.  If you know my hubby...uuummmm....let's just say that is NOT his cup of tea, but I actually think he will do this.  If it goes well with Matt then they will probably extend the program within the Aquarium.

Yay for my hubby!  God has stretched him and grown him in so many ways and I am excited to sit back and get to watch it all :)

Overnight visit!

This morning I got a random text from the CM saying " you know (baby) has an overnight visit this week right?"  UMMMMMM  NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  After having the chance to speak with the GAL and her, apparently the GAL and I were the only one's who missed that information.  It's in neither of our notes or the staffing notes either.  Hmmmmm......  Baby has been sick with a low grade fever and diarrhea since last Sunday.  HAVE FUN!  At least they will get to experience the "real stuff."  The uncle texted me and asked if since he was sick we could do next week.  Call me crazy, but I don't get to give  him back when he is sick, so he's going!  Next week doesn't work for us anyway.  So......normal drop off 9am Sat through Sun. at 3:30.  The beginning of the end..........

Drug test

So we finally got the results of Bio-Dad's drug test...no official drugs were detected, however something that is used to cover up a drug test WAS detected.  Makes me feel good (insert eye roll here) that he has had 3 unsupervised visits with Baby.  He of course denied it up and down.  He was frustrated and mad that no one has helped him (again insert eye roll here) and ended up walking off away from the CM.  She is more than tired of his behavior. I am more than tired of this case.  Court will be VERY interesting as Uncle/Aunt will be there, hubby and myself, bio-dad and the CM is coming in from her vacation because "this is just too messy for any of my co-workers."  CM is going to talk to her supervisor to determine what next week's visit will look like based on the outcome of his UA.

15 1/2 months ago I thought this was going to be our first happy reunification story!!   LOL!!  I don't think I could have been more wrong!

Summer Ideas

Check out this link for great ideas to do with your kids this summer.  The PDF link is just $9 and I love almost all of the ideas on the calendars.  It's great for us moms that want to do lots of stuff with our kids, but maybe just don't have the time to search the internet for it all!  I plan to keep my kiddos super busy this summer and of course have laid back time as well!  IF Baby does have to leave, it will give us plenty to do to keep ourselves (ok ME) busy and not thinking about him constantly!  Of course we have more "fun trips" planned like Sea World, Busch Gardens and Legoland!!  I think we'll take the bigger kids to the water park for some fun one day too.

http://www.theconfidentmom.com/mom-resources/the-confident-moms-calendar-for-surviving-summer-with-kids/

What's been going on...

We survived 5 kids! :)  Sweet girl left us on Monday morning.  It definitely gave me a hands-on knowledge of everything I have read about traumatized children.  Up until last week the oldest child that we have taken as a placement or respite has been no older than 8 months!  Here we saw a child that lived with abuse/neglect for over 2 years...we saw a child deathly afraid to be alone...EVER!  She was most happy around as many people as possible....we saw a child who NEEDED me to lay next to her to fall asleep; she wasn't being difficult and it wasn't because she was 2.  She was REALLY afraid to be alone.  She followed my husband and I everywhere!  Hubby is used to me doing most of the work with the new ones because they are babies and well, they intimidate him-lol!  Sweet girl preferred hubby and I actually think he ate it up :)

 The biggest problem that we faced was the car!  I have a minivan, but it is the smallest interior of any minivan that exists (if I had to guess!)  I STUFFED 2 boosters and a car seat in our 3 rd seat while the Moosie and Baby were in their usual middle seats.  I had to climb over the seat and get S.G buckled in and it was just soooo tight!  So, I am praying for God to provide a bigger vehicle, because if we do get to adopt Baby and want to keep fostering, something has to change by way of vehicles!  Wouldn't it be wonderful if someone GIFTED one to us?!  Yeah...I know that's not likely, but you never know!! :-)

Nothing has really changed as far as Baby's case.  Court is exactly 2 weeks from today!  I've done a pretty good job of keeping busy and occupied to keep my mind off of things, but as we get closer I feel that stress rising up within me.  Could it really happen?  Will my Baby be taken from me after almost 16 months? There has been a lot of prayer time and I know that with God's grace we will heal should Baby leave our home, but it's going to the hardest thing we have ever done in our lives!!

Yesterday we hit Animal Kingdom and had a good time as a family :)  Moosie and Baby loved the flying dinosaur ride.  The look on Baby's face was priceless!  Baby also really enjoyed the Serengeti safari tour.  The truck was all bumpy and he was flying around and laughing!  At the end it put him to sleep-lol!  Go figure!  It's nice that we have had these fun times and just a time away to laugh and play.  Should our family make-up look different in several weeks, it's so wonderful that we'll have these pictures and memories with him! (insert tears rolling down my face!)  

Court

Starting June 1st we have to start bringing all foster children to all their court hearings! This is going to get crazy! Of course I am at every one for our guys so it's just a matter of packing them up with me, but for MANY foster parents this is not going to work because they of course are asking for our cooperation in transporting children to and from court. Praying we don't lose even more foster parents! On the other side of this, I think it will be wonderful for the judges/lawyers to actually see the CHILDREN and not just a name on a paper :)


Those of for whom this is already a requirement...how does it work?  What happens if that child doesn't appear at court?  Is it as nuts as I think it could be?

She's here!

Oh wow!!!  With the drop off, I expected her to cry, but when the transporter said "she does this a lot  A LOT!"  I got a bit worried! lol!  She screamed a very sad scream for nearly 10 min. when I thought FOOD!  Yes, a banana did the trick for a bit.  I texted with her foster mother a bit because although she included all her clothes/diapers/etc, there was NOTHING else...what time she sleeps, what she eats, things she prefers, her LAST NAME!  I have a call to make tomorrow....I have no information about this little one. 

She continued to play for a bit, then cry for a while, then play, then cry, etc.  She didn't eat anything except a piece of bread for dinner.  Poor thing's teeth are rotted and her front teeth are either totally missing or stubs, so her little tongue pops through when she tries to eat. Breaks my heart!!   I tried to lay her down when I put my boys down and she just cried and cried (expected).  My husband had just come home and said that he couldn't listen to that sad little cry so he told me to go get her.  Like many traumatized/hurt children, she prefers MALES to females.  She immediately went to him and was totally quiet and even talked to him! 

I told hubby he's taking the next 3 days off!  Of course if this was a long term situation she'd just have to get used to me :)  Shucks...it's not possible for hubby to take time off, so I'll be spending a lot of time on my knees praying for patience for myself, but also my kiddos.  They kept saying "pppllllleeeaassseeee stop crying!"  They tried all their "tricks" of getting a little one to be quiet and nothing worked, so they got frustrated.  It's difficult to explain these kind of situations to children!  Oh the opportunity to teach COMPASSION to my children. 

Pray for us the next 5 days!! :)

Drawing a line...

even if it means me taking time out of my day/schedule to get baby!  I got a text from his CM a bit ago saying she has a long day tomorrow with a lot of running around, so she wants to pick him up at 8am and will try to have him back by 4:15!  That's another 8+ hour day for my baby when his visit is 4 hours long.  That's soooo not fair to him to have to sit in a car or be in an office and not at home, getting a nap and being on his schedule. Just nuts!

I texted her back and told her that she needs to tell me where to meet Baby's Dad to pick him up because that is just too long for him!  Nuts!  I would rather take the 1/2 hour each way to transport him knowing that 3+ hours will not be wasted with him in a car seat or office needlessly.

Tonight we are also getting a respite placement for the little 2 yr old girl I think I mentioned before :)  I am soooo disappointed that once again the child's needs are not being placed first.  The CM was not willing to change her parental visit today, so instead of having some "warm up" time with her foster mom here, a transporter will be dropping her off at my doorstep as if she were coming into care again for the first time.  She is a little one who has suffered a lot of trauma and this is not going to help any.  Praying we get through the next 5 days!!!

Dedication Day!

This is a photo of our family along with our Pastor and his wife before we officially dedicated him to the Lord on Sunday :)  Of course Michael didn't smile and Isaac has a crazy look on his face, but hey...we're all looking at the camera!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Here are my sweet blessings!  I can hardly believe how big they all are getting!  Michael's dedication was beautiful!  We were prayed over by the pastor and his wife privately and had our picture taken as a family.  Walking off stage the pastor said to me "you are special!"  I truly believe that I am special--special because God entrusted these amazing little boys into my Mommy hands!  The Pastor's wife said "I think God makes Mommy's of all boys in a special way!"  I truly am blessed!!  Today we also celebrate our sweet Andrew's Adoption Day!! We love you sweetheart!!!! We have a genuine day of celebration!!

Today my husband has treated me like a queen not making me lift a finger, I got flowers and cards and hubby's going to fire up the grill and cook steaks, potatoes, and corn for a yummy dinner tonight.  We are continuing the celebration tomorrow by using another day of our Disney passes and taking the kiddos for a fun day!  They don't know it yet :) 

Have a blessed day all you Mother's and if this day is not one of celebration for you, know that you are loved and covered in prayer today!

:-)

Birthmother's Day

To the woman who knew she couldn't parent a child and sacrificially chose another life for him.

To the woman who found herself in an unplanned pregnancy.  Thank you for choosing LIFE.

To the woman who loved her child more than anything but simply couldn't parent him.

To the woman who gave birth and almost died.

I honor you all today because without each one of you my family wouldn't be what it is today and I would not have the privilege of being the Mommy to this crew of wonderful boys!  In God's amazing and infinite wisdom He pieced our family together to make a beautiful and diverse family.

Happy Birthmother's Day to all the women who were our children's first mother's!  Today we treasure you and  the amazing gifts you have given us!

Phone calls

I just had two very interesting phone calls...you know how it is sometimes..you're afraid to answer the phone! lol!  The first one was another foster mom in need of respite from next Wed till the following Monday.  It's a GIRL!  She is 2 1/2 and a tiny peanut.  Hearing her story broke my heart and I am blessed to be able to help this family out while they take care of some very sick family members out of state.

The second phone call was from Baby's biological brother's adoptive mom.  We have tried a couple of times now to get together but it seems as though things keep getting in the way.  She called just to give me some amazing encouragement.  She is a strong Christian woman and her words blessed me over and over.  She knows the people that Baby could potentially go to and she said her prayer is for us to keep him, but to give it all to God and let him lead.  These are things that I have been doing and praying as well, but somehow hearing encouraging words from another person just melts me :)

My prayer has been and continues to be(more details opened up today) that God's will be done.  If God can receive all the glory and Baby can fulfill his purpose here in our home then we will be ecstatic to make him our forever son.  If he can't fulfill his purpose here and God needs that to happen somewhere else, then we trust Him and of course the grief will be tremendous, but knowing that it's what GOD willed for our son then I will have a great amount of peace as well.

Blessed this Friday afternoon and ready to have a weekend of celebration!  Our Moosie will officially be dedicated to the Lord on Mother's Day and it's Andrew's adoption day too!  I truly am one blessed Mommy...even the not so pleasant Mommy stuff gets pushed aside when you are squeezed tight and told how much they love you :)

Forgot to add...

As Dad was doing his UA  (at a local drug treatment center) two clients got in an argument.  One left and returned with a gun!  The entire facility went into lock down!!!!!  Thank you for protecting my sweet baby Lord (and all the other people too!)!!

6:15

My baby left at 10:15 this morning for a 4 hour UNsupervised visit with his bio-dad.  He JUST returned at 6:15!!!!!!!!!!!!  All that other time was spent in the CM's office or a car. :(  8 hours!!  I pulled out his bag and wasn't fed any of his snacks (I have no idea what Dad gave  him for lunch) and in his cup was POP again.  Lovely!

I asked the CM what he explained as his reason for being MIA and he said he was working at a new company about an hour away.  The CM said she had a long talk with him about where he stands in this case and he still seems to think he has a shot (oh Lord...get through to this guy!!!)  The CM wants to have a round table meeting with the aunt/uncle, Dad, herself and the super to talk about thing before we go to court.

June 6th is court and she leaves for vacation on the 5th.  She said her plane doesn't actually leave until the 7th so she may come to court on the 6th just because there is too much happening with this case.  Oh praise God!

Oh..and she made him do a random UA before she would hand the baby over to him.  She said that he "acted funny" about that as well.

Oh well...he is BACK and he is SAFE!  Thank you Jesus!

Resurfaced...again!

So bio-dad has contacted the CM once again for a visit.  He hasn't visited in over 2 months!!!  I hate that he can disappear for months and then just pop back into the picture, ask for a visit and be granted it the next day. I asked the question of whether it will be unsupervised (as before) or if it will be supervised since he's been acting so flaky and weird lately!  Of course I got no response.  It will be most likely be unsupervised because it would be too much of an inconvenience for her to supervise the visit.  I feel so sorry for baby and these people that just keep popping in and out of his life :(  Couple that with another 6 hour visit with aunt/uncle on Sat!  The things that STINK about foster care!

Beach

Hubby shot this pic of Baby and I at the beach last week.  I love how it's so natural and how he is completely at ease :)  it was a blissful afternoon!  I am trying to get more shots of us together just in case the worst outcome happens.  I'm usually the one behind the camera!

It's never too late

Check out this link to a sweet story of how this couple postponed retirement to help children in foster care :)

http://www.momlifetoday.com/2012/05/goodbye-empty-nest/

New nephew!!

I know a few of you follow my sister's blog already so you probably already know, but I am an aunt again...for the 15th time! lol!  Josiah was born last night weighing in at 8lbs 9oz.  I've seen a picture and he's a chunk!  I can't share the pic yet because she hasn't had a chance to post anything yet...that would be a bad sister-lol!  Josiah has some very serious health issues and his birth parents have had two children before him die with the same issue.  If you remember their journey with Selah, it's very similar to her.  They don't know how long Josiah will live....it could be a week, a month, or a year or more!  They have stepped out in faith and said YES to this child.  The song I posted last week "All of me" speaks to this exact situation!  Please pray for Josiah, my sister Kim, her husband Ben and their 11 other blessings!

Meeting

I just got off the phone with Baby's biological brother's adoptive mom :)  He is the one child no family member fought for.  What a lucky kid! lol!  Anyway, I have been wanting to get together with his mom to chat and of course to get the boys together.  She'll be coming over to our house on Friday and then we will head to the park here at our HOA.  I am really excited to pick her brain about the aunt/uncle and see what their relationship is like after "B's" adoption.  "B" was there last Sat. but I am wondering how often they see him.  Of course we are willing to keep the sibling relationship going IF we are to adopt Baby, but at the same time thinking of having the aunt/uncle in our lives over the next (at least) 17 years isn't my happiest thought-lol!  "B" lives about 15 min. from here and his adoptive mom seems like a really neat lady. I think we will end up having a lot in common but I think I can also learn a lot from her as well.  She's from Barbados originally and I love her accent :)

What it's like to be a foster parent

http://www.christianalliancefororphans.org/2012/04/20/what-it%E2%80%99s-like-to-be-a-foster-parent/

TPR?!

As you all know, the plan has been for quite some time (the agency's plan that is) to have the judge grant PG to the aunt/uncle and for baby to leave our home.  The GAL's plan (which like much better!) is to fight for TPR.  Well, apparently the agency got notification that they are attempting to get TPR and so now the legal dept. wants them to try that avenue FIRST!  The CM is totally confident that it will not happen.  Haha...she doesn't know that my GOD is bigger than her little plans and if HE wants it to happen then it will!!! :-)

She came for her monthly visit yesterday.  We were scheduled for 3pm.  She arrived at 5:25.  Yep...dinnertime.  Love it! (ick!)  She KNOWS that we want to adopt baby, but she acted like we've never had that conversation before.  "So if TPR did happen to be granted then would you be interested in adopting?" Uuummm....let me think about that...YES!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am praying that since we have had him for so long that we would be considered first for adoption, but in all reality with a judge that is very "pro-bio-family" it is quite possible she could order that he go to the aunt/uncle.  GOD's WILL BE DONE!

Still no word from bio-dad.  I guess the CM tried to call the number he called from a couple weeks back and the person who answered said that they didn't know him and he certainly wasn't the person who owned that phone.  I know the last # that I have for him has been disconnected.  So....we wait another 34 days till court.  Can you tell I'm a bit intense about this court date?

Last night I had a dream where I was being weighed in for something and my BMI was being measured as well.  I stepped on the scale (looking as I do IRL right now) and looked over at my BMI to see the #64.  I was flabbergasted!  My weight read 113 (NOT what I really am, but I am also no where near a BMI of 64!)  I think I'm feeling a bit "weighted" and imbalanced with this case right now!  Time to trim some fat! :)