Wednesday, June 13, 2012


We attend a large church in our area and like most large churches it is hard to get to know people *really* know people unless you take part in a life group (various churches call this different names).  Anyway, another adoptive family who used to be foster parents (who read this blog too :) ) began a life group with an adoption ministry focus and we have several families who have adopted as well as an adoptee herself :)

Last night we went to group and were totally blessed with a gift for Squirt...a super cute outfit and some adorable pj's!  They then all laid hands on us and prayed over our family and the work that we are doing as adoptive/foster parents.  Can I just tell you how blessed we were??  SO often as foster parents a new addition is often met with "what? you got another one?"  rather than a more positive greeting and welcome to our lives!  I get it...I really do.  People don't know how to always deal with families like ours...that may change frequently or have new members added quickly! lol!  We are so excited to be a part of this group and have that support from others who know!

Sometimes I think *I* expect way too much from outsiders and then I get disappointed when they don't respond the way I thought they should.  Ya how everyone would bring a meal to a woman that just gave birth, but with foster parents we are expected to add a kid into the mix and jump back into real life the next breaks from work, home schooling, cooking, cleaning, or whatever! But I also think that it has to start WITHIN like our group is doing!  Those of us who are foster/adoptive parents need to be supporting other foster/adoptive parents and it will spread like wildfire (hopefully!!!)

I understand that not all people can foster or adopt (or should for that matter!) BUT we can ALL support those in the trenches doing this hard work.  Don't get me wrong, it's SOOOO rewarding, but it's not all roses either (if you have read my blog for any length of time you know this!lol!)  I HIGHLY recommend you pray and consider how YOU can come alongside other families.

  • Most significantly of course is PRAYER but other ideas could include 
  • volunteering to watch the other kiddos for a while and do something fun with them (new placements are hard on the other children all takes adjustment)
  • bring them a meal soon after the child is brought into their home
  • bring that tired Mom or Dad their favorite snack/candy and beverage (of course for me that would be COFFEE!) :)
  • send encouraging words throughout the week via FB, text, phone call, or email :)
  • ASK about the child and his/her adjustments
  • Be a good listener!  Sometimes we need to just vent about how horrible that bio-parent made us feel, or how frustrated we are with the courts or a case worker or the craziest thing that happened on a visit :)
These are just a handful of ways that you can help to support foster and adoptive parents!  PLEASE consider how YOU will be involved in the lives of these children and amazing families!  AND....all you foster/adoptive parents out there...ADD to my list in the comments section below!  Let's give each other ideas on how to bless the socks off of other foster/adoptive parents!!!!


Mie said...

Meals are great.

For me just acknowledging the change, preferably without the drama of "I couldn't do that", is the best. Something like "Oh, she's so cute! how old is she?" or "Are they sleeping well?" or "How did you arrange the bedrooms THIS time". Anything to acknowledge our new kiddos, that we have gone through a change and THIS is our family (for) now, without too many side comments about how great we are or how they couldn't do it.

And maybe do a load of laundry :)

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

AMEN!!!!! Can't wait for others in our church to catch God's vision! We are praying and believing it will happen! :) Can't wait for Saturday!!!! I know God will do amazing things with our church if we let Him :)!!!!

sheldonanddenise said...

Great Post! Our VERY small, sheltered country church, that we have been attending for 2yrs. is catching the vision! PTL! We were given a surprise shower for our foster-hope-to-adopt little girl. When we explained that the system is crazy and she could possibly not stay with us, their response was that they realized that and they've decided to just love on her for however long she is in all of our lives. I love the kites and other little gifts that were given to my two boys (also adopted) in celebration of our new family member. They were even given cards letting them know what wonderful helpers they must be. When we're told, "how can you do this?" our response is, "God has not asked us to build an ark". It gets them thinking.....

Our Journey said...

Great news Denise! Love that answer too :) I just might have to steal that one!