Wow...it doesn't even seem like this could even be real. The staffing for Baby happened today. Baby's Uncle/Aunt and Bio-Dad DID NOT EVEN SHOW! The CM attempted to reach them by phone and neither answered. Why am I not surprised?
The TPR results were that they would not given a recommendation because of a missing piece. Well, the missing piece cannot happen until Dad messes up again. Of course Dad just messed up so he is on his best behavior and we can bank on 3-6 months of having it together. So...no tpr....which means yep.....goodbye!
The agency has already filed the motion and simply are waiting for a court date. It still surprises me how much focus is put on things that don't even matter. Our first good bye will be coming up soon. He will have been in our care probably 17 months by that point....straight from the hospital at 3 days old. Heartbroken doesn't even seem to cover what I am feeling right now. This is gonna be a tough road to walk.
Of course the song "Hurt and the Healer" came on the radio on the way home and the tears started flowing! My eyes are puffy, but I have to trust that God's ways are better than my ways and He knows what I don't know. My heart breaks thinking that we will not be the one's raising that sweet boy, but at the same time I am relieved that I will not have that uncle in our lives for the next ?? years!
We have such supportive friends and my family has been wonderful! It's with them and God's grace that I know things will be ok and God will heal our hurts. Baby will always be my son in my heart...that's for sure! Please remember us in your prayers. Especially pray for Baby and his heart as he will be going through this huge transition as well as the hearts of my other boys. This is gonna hurt them so much. They've never been through this before and I have a feeling we'll have lots of anger going around this house. When my boys are stressed/scared, etc it's more fights, more aggression and more anger. We are praying for wisdom to help them through this and process these super big feelings! We are not telling them until closer to the court date (all they know is that Mommy is sad today).