Whenever I go out with the three kids I get quite the stares, looks, and sometimes comments. I have one bi-racial child (White/Asian), one Korean, and another bi-racial (white/black). You can see the wheels in their heads turning and sometimes I wonder what on earth they are thinking (their ages are 5yrs, 3yrs, 5mos). Of course there are times when there is no question what they are thinking when they make an insensitive or rude comment, but I have tried really hard to think of these people as uneducated and not just ignorant. I can think of many topics/situations where if I were to try to comment I too would sound dumb, however if I was given more info on the topic I would be able to speak more appropriately about it.
I have come to think of my life as an opportunity to educate those who have no clue about adoption, foster care, trans-racial families, etc. God has given us a special purpose to care for these children, and I believe that along with that goes the responsibility to share how positive these things are and how their lives can be touched by them too! In addition to that, because I have taken the time to educate them on proper language, appropriate questions, etc, the next time they meet an adoptive/foster family, they won't make that same mistake, and through a chain reaction, change can be made :)
Sharing the life experience of becoming foster parents to the least of these!
3 comments:
We don't have a blended family look like you do--all of our kids look like they could be ours. Funny day about 3 weeks ago...when we had our 2 former foster kids over for the weekend. We took all the kids to the public museum. It forced us to take 2 cars so the looks began as we unloaded the vehicles. As we got close to the entrance and the looks got bigger my husband comment how we must look with 7 kids that all appear to be ours and look and act like forever siblings. We had an 11yr old, 10, 9, 6, 5, 2, and 2 weeks. B said that it was even funnier since only the last 2 had the same father.
People don't know how to act or what to say and unless they have adopted/fostered. I know that I can handle to rude remarks because people don't know but it is terrible when they make rude comments to the kids. My kids have learned that they have the opportunity to teach people too.
When my husband and I had A in for her EEG today, the tech walking us to the EEG area asked very politely if she was adopted. I was just so tempted to say no... Sometimes I've just got to roll with it, especially with A's speech issues. Someone the other day said, totally surprised "she's smart!" Speech has little to do with intelligence!
Mandy-that must have been quite a sight! :-) I totally agree...we can handle that as adults, but when they say things to the kids that just isn't right. Thankfully we haven't had to deal with this yet.
Cheri-Speech totally has nothing to do with intelligence! They (Mr. I included!) will surprise us all the more when they are intelligable :) Sarcasm is hard to refrain from sometimes-lol! :)
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