Haircut!!

Oh my!!!! There is no hair left! My baby is totally bald!!!! It was hard to tell from the cellphone pic just how short it was. Whew...that's short! Please excuse the lovely drool look he's got goin' on...it's hard being a baby :)

Happy Birthday!!

Today is our sweet Baby's first birthday!!!!!!!!!! We are blessed to have him in our lives :) He is so happy and giggly all the while being able to peel wallpaper with his "I didn't get it my way!" scream! lol! He is now fully into EVERYTHING and chatting up a storm. This was at breakfast this morning. Note his hair...it does NOT look this way anymore :( His bio-dad texted me a picture after his haircut. He buzzed him BALD!!!!!!!!!! He looks silly...poor baby! It's cold here in FL (hee hee) I'll have to put a hat on him for awhile till he gets some fuzz back!

Court and visit

I haven't heard a peep from Baby's worker today, but this is one of those helpful times where it's good to have contact with bio-parents. I don't know how it went down, but he said that he talked to her and now there will be NO visits with this aunt/uncle. This is the other side that makes me sad. It's not that I didn't want a visit at all, because I think he should know his siblings, but just what's appropriate. I'm sure this isn't the end of it.....

Court was fast and easy...quickest ever actually. The adoption case plan was accepted and a goal date of no later than April 2, 2012! Hopefully we will be done several weeks ahead of that. I was hoping (and told) that she would set a date, but I know it will be soon so I guess that will have to be good enough :)

I can't believe that Baby will be ONE tomorrow!!!!

Sibling Visit

Ok...so having to handle this myself has been so stressful! I thought we had things all worked out yesterday but didn't have an official confirmation from Uncle. So, I texted him this morning and asked if we are still on. His response said that we are going to have to work something else out.

Here is his logic...

We meet at 11:30 for the switch over. He lives a 1/2 hour away. He gets to spend 1/2 hour with baby and then he will have to turn around and come back to meet me at 2:30. HUH???

I included the extra hour so they could actually visit from 12-2. 11:30-12:00 driving, 2 hour visit, 2:00-2:30 driving. Seems like 2 hours to me, but maybe I need to check my math-lol! Ok...this situation has made me SASSY!

So after more back and forth and we even asking for a compromise and do a 3 hour visit, he cancelled it. That right there shows me his true motivation is not for the siblings to get together. Why can't 3 little kids play together for 3 hours (or 2 for that matter!) and have that be enough?? I sooooooo tried to be graceful and asked for his email address so that I could email him some pictures of Baby. I emailed him 3 pictures and an update on what Baby is doing.

A bit later I got a text from Baby's Dad. I happened to mention that we were trying to work things out for a visit with aunt/uncle. Whew...I said the WRONG thing!!! He wrote me back and said he doesn't want baby anywhere around those people! I told him that the visit ended up not working out, but they are already asking about next week. He said he is going to call the CM first thing Monday morning!

This CM must hate me!!! I am not purposefully trying to cause problems, but when something isn't right, it isn't right. Now the thing with Dad...that was an accident! Should be interesting to see how next week plays out! lol!!

Monday is a busy day with a meeting to get the ball rolling with an adoption/foster care ministry at our church and then court for Little Man in the afternoon!!! We will finally get the coveted FINALIZATION date!!!!! The rest of the week is hectic too, so hopefully I won't have too much time to get sucked into this drama again. I hate drama, but it makes life interesting huh?

Trying to be Christ-like!

Whew...this uncle is testing my patience for sure!! He keeps trying to change the day now. First it was Sat, then no it needs to be Friday, Sat. won't work. This morning I wake up to a text that he changed his plans and wants the visit on Sunday now. Ummm..sorry...NO! When I told him Sat. would work all the sudden that's ok and he'd work around it. We have an AWESOME social worker who supports us and is currently talking with our GAL. I think to start, a 2 hour visit with people he does not know is enough. I haven't told the Uncle yet...he probably won't be happy.

I also got a text from his CM that said she was going to be out of the office today and I would need to handle this and that she thought 4 hours was fine. Duh..of course she would...she thought 8 was fine! lol! Lovely! I am less than pleased with the work this CM has done :(

Foster care can be very challenging...so far it hasn't been the kids at all!!!!

TACKLE!!!

Yes...that would be the (almost) one year old tackling the 2 1/2 year old!!! Wrestling is a normal, everyday thing at this house...4 boys! Oh Lord help me! LOL!!!

PIctures :)

See I told you I have some issues in the hair dept. Don't worry..only one more week of this crazy do!

He screamed like there was no tomorrow when I took it away to peel the skin! He held onto that thing for almost an hour!

Name

I was looking back over the contact sheet that the adoption worker left yesterday and noticed she wrote his full NEW NAME at the top! Ahhhh...unless you have been through this, I don't know that you can fully understand it's significance. I don't like seeing his old name on things because it doesn't represent his permanency! YET!!! that is :) Of course his old name was right there too, but it was UNDER his new name! I am SO READY to make this official :)

Homestudy!

Today was homestudy day!!! Shoot...by the 6th homestudy I'm like "good enough!" with my cleaning-lol! My my how that has changed since homestudy and adoption #1! We did some paperwork and she asked a couple of questions did a brief tour and that was it! She is going to type it up and hopefully our (second round) of fingerprints come back asap. She said we'll have another meeting in 2 weeks or so to go over some more paperwork. Court on Monday and we will set the finalization...hopefully for the end of Feb.!!! It's so hard to believe that in a month's time it will all be OFFICIAL!!! It's surreal!

As for Baby's aunt/uncle visit....I talked with his GAL (she knows them well since his siblings live there). She said he doesn't treat women with a lot of respect so I should just tell him what I want to happen and (as long as CM agrees..which she does) that's how it's gonna go! So...IF he calls/txts me again I will tell him a 2 hour visit on Sat. when ALL the family is present. There is no need for a "private" visit (even if nothing sinister was to happen). So...I wait....I will not initiate any contact with him. DUH! The answer to the "why all the sudden?" question hit me...it's Baby's 1st birthday next week!!! So I guess I can expect these people to show up at "major" holidays/birthdays. Oh how nice for Baby (can you feel the sarcasm seething in that statement? lol) I just don't think it's fair for these people to get to "drop in" whenever they feel like it....so not fair to Baby!!!

Baby's 4 hour visit with Dad went well today from what I hear. He sent me a video :) He ASKED me if it was ok for Baby to have a b-day cake next week. While I think this is a bit odd for bio-parent to ask I TOTALLY was pleased and it shows he respects me :) Of course I said YES! He will also be getting his FIRST HAIRCUT!! I so wanted to take him, but totally understand his bio-dad wanting to do it. I'm just glad things are going to be under control in the hair dept. It's crazy! It's all long and shaggy on top with a ring of nothing at the back and then on the sides it's a bit like BOZO hair! He's going to look so different!

So overall, a pretty good day!

Hmmmm....

So I got a text from the Uncle asking if we could do Friday instead. The siblings are school age so when I asked him about it, he said he's pick up Baby and have him all day until 3 when his wife and the siblings got home. CHECK! Something about that just seems very weird to me. Maybe I've just seen and heard too many horror stories about horrible things happening to children, but it just seems odd that he would want to all of the sudden visit with Baby and alone at that (it's a maternal aunt...not paternal)....I texted back that I thought an all day visit was way too much for Baby as he has NO remembrance of them and that would be very hard for a child experiencing stranger anxiety. I did not get a text back. I texted his case manager and told her what happened and asked for her opinion. I didn't hear back from her either. It all just seems odd!! I don't care if they don't like me...I'm here for Baby not to make friends with workers (although I have with some!) or aunts/uncles. I don't think they are thinking of Baby's best interest :-(

Visits

It has been confirmed...Dad's visits will remain at 4 hours until he has an approved home study.

It has also been confirmed that Aunt/Uncle will be having a visit on Saturday...icky! I am now going to be driving to meet up with them on Sat. and they get a day visit with him. I am terrified for him. Poor thing does not know these people at all :( Maybe I can convince her to meet up with us at a park for this first visit so he can be around them, but still have someone he knows well. We'll see!!

Do you run a daycare?

Ahhhhh....I finally got the question that adoptive/foster mommies of several children get! I'm surprised it's taken this long-lol! I was at our local W*almart. Since moving I have literally been there twice. I went in today to pick up a couple of quick items with Baby only since my hubby was home and stayed with the rest of them.

When I got to the checkout the woman said "Do you run a daycare?" Chuckling to myself because I only had one child I said "no, he's my son." Just a side note...I do not feel it's necessary to constantly be telling people that he (or any other) child is a foster child. It only opens up a whole can of worms that I am not willing to go into with the checkout lady! lol!

Cashier: Oh I've seen you in here before and you had a lot more kids with you.

Me: Yes, they are all mine :)

Cashier: Wow, so you adopted them then?

Me: Yes

Cashier: Wow...that's really nice! My finace is adopted and we've talked about it to. I was wondering how long it took.

I gave her a very brief synopsis of our adoptions (there were not so patient people behind me, but hey...I'm doing God's work!) Sometimes I think I should draw up business cards for situations like that with my name/email/phone # on it so they can ask more questions later :)

I walked out amazed at how God used my family again and the easiest part was that I did nothing extra! All I did was take my kiddos to the store for a few items and treat them in a Godly way. That was enough to make an impression on this young woman! I love it! Never underestimate how God might use you and your family for His Glory!

Comments

Comments...we get them all the time. Some good and some bad. In James 3 it talks about how with our tongues we speak both blessings and cursings. We praise our God and Father and then with that same tongue curse the men (and women) God made in His likeness! This passage has been on my mind/heart this week. I've been really trying to focus on this with my kids too. Comments that we get as a transracial, semi-large family of young children can be the same....life or death. Recent comments we have gotten...

"Wow, you have such a beautiful family!" LIFE

"You sure have your hands full! " DEATH (this is personal...I hate this comment...I don't know why, but I just do! It NEVER encourages me)

"God Bless You and your family!" LIFE

"Are you crazy? You have that many kids and homeschool too?!" DEATH (when is insulting someone life-giving??)

"You just have one of every kind now don't you?" DEATH (they aren't a collection!)

"You are my hero! I could never do that!" LIFE and DEATH (while "hero" is no where near accurate, it's at least encouraging me that maybe God's using me to inspire others to adopt/foster...however...the second 1/2 of that statement cuts God off from what He *could* want to do with that person. They are shutting out the possibility that God could use them in a similar way.)

As we embark on a fresh week I challenge you all to consider every single word that comes out of your mouth. Are you encouraging someone else and bringing life, or are your words bringing death? So many times the "death comments" come from wanting to make ourselves feel better. Look inward...what could God be convicting YOU (and ME!!) of?? (do not read condemnation..that is not of the Lord! Conviction is very different!) Have a blessed week and bring LIFE to all you speak with this week!

Respite

Remember Butterball from a couple of months back? :) Gosh he was sweetie. I emailed his foster mom to see whatever happened with him and he was able to transfer to a friend's foster home and is doing really well and being doted on by two older teenage foster sisters :) She asked me if I was available for daytime respite every Thursday because she has to go to court every Thursday to fight for her her other sweeties. She has a 15 mo old and 4 mo old bio-siblings. They are trying to get the girls placed with a family friend (not even a close one). She has had the 15 mo old since 4 days old. The parents are not anywhere near close to getting them back but the workers want to move them anyway (this is not family). Crazy! Why upset these children's lives for nothing??? There is no reason to move them, so she needs to be at court to speak up each week.

So....I am going to be doing respite for her 2 GIRLS :) Yes, that will mean 6 kids 7 and under! 7, 5, 2, 1, 11 mos, and 4 mos! This is what crazy people who care about the well-being of kids do :) At least it's just for a few hours!

Resurfacing

So remember all that hoopla at Christmas about Baby going for an overnight visit with aunt/uncle?? Yeah...remember they never called again and Baby didn't go anywhere? Well, I got a call from Baby's case worker today saying that the Aunt called and asked for an overnight visit with Baby. THANK YOU JESUS she sees things from Baby's perspective (with my help :) ) and said NO. She offered to start with a day visit. I gave her a bit of history on said Aunt/Uncle and that she may want to double check what days they are working and make sure they CONFIRM the visit with her before she drives an hour out to my house ot get Baby. She seemed enlightened and said she'd call me right back. That was an hour ago. We'll see....there are several ways this could go. If they really wanted to see him and were thinking of his best interest things would be different. I just have this "hairs standing on end" feeling when I speak with her. Something is shady with them and I just haven't figured out the "why" and "what" yet.

As for Baby's visit with Dad....the GAL is fighting hard to get things put back the way they were and return to 4 hour visits until an approved homestudy is completed (this would require Dad to have housing of course!) or his lawyer takes them back to court for another hearing. Dad is gonna hit the roof when he is told. He texted me yesterday and asked why I have a problem with an 8 hour visit and that he would take good care of Baby. I was not about to get in the middle of this. Yes, I have my opinions, but no sir....I just texted back that the visit length is not up to me at all (remember I wasn't even at the staffing!) and everyone is just thinking of Baby's best interest (not having a place to nap, etc). I didn't get a response.

I will be very interested to see where this case goes, how much involvement aunt/uncle have (they've expressed interest in adopting Baby but all the workers say that's not happening for several reasons), and if Dad will be able to pull things together. Should we be able to adopt Baby in the future this would not be an easy road. Keeping in contact and maintaining relationships with 3 siblings on Bio-Mom's side (2 separate homes) and bio-Dad could be a lot to handle. Of course we would do it, but it just wouldn't be easy. Too bad we were never guaranteed "easy" in this life huh? Looking forward to eternal life which will be much more enjoyable :)

Radon Verdict

So.....they said we don't have to redo our radon!!!! Yay :) After reading the manual (that they don't include in the packet!) we placed it in a bad spot, so our real reading probably isn't high.

I got a call from the health dept today and we are scheduled for that fun tomorrow. At least I have a good excuse for a not perfect house...moving...I can use that for awhile don't you think? :) It was funny when he called because we are in a new city now and figured we would get someone new, but "our guy" just happened to move to this area too (job wise that is)!! I like this guy because he isn't all crazy and picky and just really looks at the necessary stuff. :)

Our afternoon...yes 4 hours (including driving) was spent at the WIC office getting the 2 boys re-certified. We were moving along well in the back from the registration lady to the nurse to the nutritionist and then came the wait.....UGH! I hate the last step waiting for checks. Usually it's not too bad, but today they had one lady printing out the checks and she called one person about every 20 min. They closed at 5pm and when I left at 5 pm the entire lobby was still full. This particular office is in a bad part of town and of course there was contruction so the way I always take (and only way I know) was closed so I had to find a new way. Good thing I am not directionally challenged and it was daylight!!! Of course I hit rush hour traffic. Fun times! No more afternoon WIC appts! :)

So, that was our day...baby was up at 4:45 this am and I never got to go back to sleep so this momma is hitting the hay early!!!

Staffing

I usually try to make all court and staffing appointments but today I just didn't have the time to attend baby's staffing. His wonderful GAL called me soon after they got out to give me the highlights which I will bullet point for you for ease :)

• No one was comfortable with an 8 hour visit for Dad (well except Dad's attorney who was not there of course and Dad)
• A 6 hour visit was agreed upon to start...every TUESDAY :) Yay..an actual day I can rely on each week!!
• Dad will be monitored during his 6 hour visit with pop-in visits from his case manager
• Dad will be monitored during his visit occasionally by the GAL
• Dad will at the very least have a stroller for Baby to sleep in. This should be interesting because Baby is too nosy and has NEVER fallen asleep in a stroller. At least it's a place for him to sorta lay.
• Some(official) paperwork that our GAL has requires that a homestudy be done for a visit lasting 8 or more hours, so until he has a place to actually live with an approved homestudy he won't be getting those 8 hours.
• Dad was defensive, and they had to consistently reassure him that this is NOT about him, but about what is best for the Baby!!

I think those are the highlights. Since today is Tuesday and he was at work (umm..he said this was his day off???) the visits will start next week. I just looked at the calendar and realized in 2 weeks Baby's 1st birthday falls on a Tuesday...good for bio-dad of course, but sad for me :( Good thing Baby doesn't know any better and we'll celebrate early so hubby can be there too!

Radon

As part of moving we had to have the new house tested for radon. I just found out that we came back at 3.6 (+/-).6. An acceptable level is 4.0. So...technically we could have a level of 4.2 which is considered dangerous. We are waiting to hear from the county if we will be accepted or not. If not, then we will retest. If we are still high I am assuming we will have to call someone in to help lower the levels. UGH!!! That does not sound cheap does it??? Our FDS said that the city we now live in frequently show high radon levels. Wah!!!

Court today

I took baby to court today so that his Dad could have a visit with him following court. We got there at 9 and court was to start at 9:30. We waited and waited....finally at 10:50 we get called in. The case plan was presented and most of it was agreed to.

Dad's lawyer is a good one. He was also the lawyer for Little Man's Dad. Yuck! He makes the bio-parent sound so good and suggests things that are just silly. The drug testing was reduced from a color-code system to 2 x's per month because he didn't think there was basis. Oh there is basis alright, just not criminal charges so the judge decreased it.

At the last minute Dad's lawyer threw in there "oh and Dad is requesting his visits get increased to 8 hours per week" The judge granted it! So...for 10 hours one day (2 hours travel time) a week baby will be on a visit with his Dad. Now if he had a place to live I wouldn't have such a problem with this. BUT....the 4 hour visits now are pretty much held on the bus. Dad says that he will fall asleep on the bus and sleep for an hour or 45 min. I'm sorry, but a bus is no place for a child to take his naps (especially 2!) The GAL wants to fight this. We'll see what happens.

He's going to be a mess when he gets home and especially the next day!! The only good thing about this is that we are going to have a SET day/time (oh Hallelujah!!!) for this visit every week. I've been asking for this for a long time.

I got out of court, said goodbye to baby and made my way to my car. I just had gotten off the elevator in the parking garage and my phone rings. "Hi, can you come back and get baby? We have to cancel the visit" UGH!!! So I got baby to court, exposed him to more germs (Dad let him crawl on the nasty floor---eeeeewwwww!!!!), he didn't get a morning nap all for nothing. Oh foster care can be soooo challenging!!!!

I guess the "fun" starts next week......I'm not one for rollercoasters....I think I'm getting sick! lol!

Another change....

So I emailed Little Man's adoption worker to let her know we got fingerprinted (again!) and to be on the look out for them. She emailed me back and said that she was leaving the agency to pursue a Master's Degree and we would be getting a new adoption worker as of next week. So that makes 4 case managers and 2 adoption workers for the length of this case! It's amazing that our GAL has stayed the same for the entire 2+ years!!

Baby's Dad cancelled his visit this week because it's cold here this week. They spend a lot of their visit time outside apparently so he doesn't want baby to get sick. I appreciate that part, but would really like him to have a visit (say INside??) so that I can get some packing done without a baby hanging on me-LOL! Sigh...oh well...it will call get done in time :)

Baby has court on the 12th, staffing on the 17th and Little Man's hearing is on the 30th. It's no wonder the baliff recognizes me :)

2012 here we come!

Looking ahead into 2012 I am excited to see what God has planned for our family!! We move into our new home in just 4 days!!! Little Man's adoption will be finalized this year!! We have no idea what the Lord has planned for Baby, but my gut says that this case is going to gop beyond 2012...that may be 2013! He's certainly not going anywhere anytime soon...that's for sure! Who knows...maybe God will bring us a GIRL, or maybe not...I've always imagined myself a momma to five boys. I don't know why!?

Anyway, we can plan all we want, but God determines our steps, and I can't wait to follow Him in this new year :)