Waging War

We have this song BLASTING in our house this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For YOUR Glory Lord!!!!!

Phone call

Our GAL just called to say that Little Man's mom just called her and said that there is an aunt in her home state that is willing to take LM. There is so many things wrong with this situation and my flesh SO wants to scream out that this isn't fair, where was she the last 15 months? NO judge could do that to a child could they? it stinks that we have no rights in this situation, etc, BUT I WON'T!!! GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please join us in prayer against the enemy's attempt to place fear and worry in our lives. God's will is going to be done in that court room on Tuesday and we have lots of case workers who would all say that this is NOT in the best interest of the child!!! TRUSTING that LM will join our family permanently and we are taking on this fight against enemy with the armor of God firm in place!

Infant Massage

Once upon a time when I was an Early On teacher I learned the wonderful technique of infant massage. I actually was able to go to a training and get certified so I could teach the parents of my students and hold classes. Infant massage is a wonderful tool used for lots of things such as bonding, attachment, getting rid of gas/constipation, relaxation, better digestion, better sleep, and the list goes on!

I have used infant massage from the very beginning when A. was just 5 days old in the hotel room waiting to take him home :) With each child that enters our home I do this and it is such a time of beauty between the child and me. Little Grape HATED it at first, but is really starting to enjoy it and becomes very quiet while being massaged. I use is several times a day for the gas issue alone. He calms almost immediately and falls asleep soon after the massage is done. It just relaxes him enough to let himself fall asleep and takes the pain away too!

Another tool we use in our parenting is baby sign language. I'm sure most of you have heard of it or use it yourself! When Little Man was around 6 months old I started using it with him and his GAL was absolutely in LOVE with this idea. She was so impressed by what he was able to communicate starting at just 10 months old! Last week she came out for his monthly visit and was telling me that she has a new family she is working with and told them about the sign language! The foster parents are all excited to start with the baby. I recommended some books/videos and gave them a handout that I had put together from my teaching days. How fun to get to pass on these great tools to others :)!

Random thoughts from a tired woman

I've had to say the phrase "It's not about me" about a million times today!

Getting 2-4 hours of sleep a night...how do people (like my sister!) do this EVERY night?? I know there will be an end in sight sometime in the next couple of months...I hope!

A. arranged some "Mommy time" yesterday when the baby was sleeping. He told me that he would entertain/watch I. and Little Man in their room so I could have a rest...awwww!!!

Little Grape is developing into a male diva (divo?!) It's so funny to see his personality developing already. He'll be 4 weeks old on Monday! It's been a bit of a sleepy blur but we love having him here. :)

I told his FRS to feed him at 3:00 (or mom/dad whoever) yesterday. So what did they do?? They fed him almost 3 ounces at 2:15 and then another almost 2 ounces an hour later! Know what that means??? A Momma and baby up until 3:45am with tummy troubles from too much food :( I will send enough to make ONE bottle next week. Lesson learned.

LG is growing so much already and finally starting fit into some 0-3 outfits :) I can't wait to dress him in one of my favorite little outfits (from when A. was a baby) for church tomorrow!

Please keep us in your prayers Tuesday...both boys have court at the same time. May God's will be done in both court rooms!!!

I LOVE coffee and God made it especially for sleep deprived mommas!!

Monday we are declaring "family day!" School will be at MOSI where they have a new bug exhibit. Science on the go! Love it! I'll be sure to take a picture of the cockroach races for all you non-Floridians :)

Sorry if this post is whiny....I promise to be more positive in the future but sometimes it feels better to just get it all out!! :-)

GAL Meeting

Today we met the GAL for our new little guy. We have been so blessed to have not only one amazing GAL, but TWO! There are particular workers in the system that truly make you feel that you are appreciated...GAL's (at least ours) are one of them!

I got a tad bit more info. It seems that mom's history is more "messed up" than I was aware of. I learned that the other foster family that has his 2 yr old brother will be adopting him and why they weren't able to take Little Grape. It sounds like we would get along really well, so we are going to set up a visit with the boys :) Dad's living situation wouldn't pass a homestudy right now, so that is one thing that needs to get in order. So...it looks as though LG will be here for awhile....lucky us!!

The other boys were showing off and being very silly (as usual) and the GAL just was in awe of how one family could have 4 boys! She doesn't have any kids of her own, so I was telling her that it's just a different world-lol! She's a flight attendant and is single....I hardly remember my single days!!

Oh and as we were finishing up she asked if we would be interested in adopting him if the chance comes our way....he's been in our care for 3 weeks! I'm sure you know my answer, but it was a great chance to share my faith and trust in God!

Pediatrician's office

Our appt was for 9:30am...we weren't seen until 10:45! UGH! Anyway, she looked him over and he is doing really well :) He is now up to 6lbs 14oz so he has gained 10 oz since his last weigh in! She isn't concerned about the weight at all, so yay! The reflux"y" symptoms are kind of subsiding, so we are just going to watch that. It's not even daily anymore, so maybe it was just something he has to grow out of. She said to definitely keep him on soy though :) She asked about his temperment and I said "He's very sweet, but a bit high maintenance!" She said "I can see that. He seems like he might be that way." At least he's a cutie!

I just got the hospital discharge papers (which should have come with him) yesterday and a few interesting things were noted. The "funky breathing" as I have called it, is stridor. I. had this when he came home from Korea and had the croup. In this case it's due to an "immature trachea" and he should grow out of it. The other issue was a "hip click." She felt him today several times and it happened only a couple times, but she wants to be safe and proactive, so we are going to have an ultrasound done on his hip. For some reason, the Dr. office actually has to set that up so I am waiting to hear when that will be.

I had to take I. with me to the Dr. because he had speech after the appt. So I was sitting there with a very "chocolate" baby and my Asian son. A woman walking out of the waiting room was so obvious I almost laughed out loud! She was ridiculous. You could see the wheels turning as she tried to figure this one out! Someone at church the other day asked "where did this one come from? You weren't pregnant were you?" LOL!!!!!!!! What???? Yes....my caucasian husband and pasty white me created the most sweet chocolate baby ever! :) (she knows who my hubby is). People are funny! I wonder if they ever think about how they came across after we have left????!!!!!

Made me glad by Hillsong

Need prayers!

We got word a few weeks ago that LM's parents fled to another state. I was assumming (shame on me!) that on March 1st we would be able to terminate their rights and we could move forward with his adoption. I talked to his CM today and she said that she checked with the attorney to make sure they were served the papers before they left, and they *don't think* that they were :( So..... now we have to do a due diligence search and try to serve her/them before the end of the week. If not, this is going to keep getting pushed back for 2-3 more hearings!! To add to all that...it is the end of this case and our attorney got changed to a brand spanking new attorney (ahhhhhhhh!!!!) and we just got switched to a new judge as well!!!!!!!!! Not what I wanted to hear, BUT GOD knows where they are and can get them served before court and He can make sure all new parties have done their homework and know what's going on in this "most messed up case" on the docket! Thank you for the prayers....I am fasting this week but didn't know until today my main focus! :)

**Busy day...we have LM's case worker, LM's GAL and LG's case worker coming for visits today! LG's GAL comes Thursday! Gotta love the last week of the month!!

Different Feelings??

I was thinking this morning about the difference in my feelings about parental visits for Little Man vs. Little Grape. You can read about my reactions to Little Man's first visit HERE. For some reason I just don't feel tense about LG going on his visits.

Is it because.....

**he's so little that he has no idea what's going on??
**I know the mother's history and her chances of getting to parent him??
**I know he may only be here a short time because "Dad" might be fit to parent?
**I have a better idea of how things work?
**I am so totally sleep deprived that I'm oblivious? LOL!?

I'm not sure the exact reason, but maybe this will be what I asked for in a previous post which is to see the happy reunification story! Now don't get me wrong...we are head over heels for this little guy and would be SO SAD to see him go at *any* point, but we know the goal of foster care and if it's an appropriate placement for him, then I would love to see him with his father (chances for Mom are very slim). It just so happens that Little Man's TPR hearing is the exact same day/time that LG's next hearing is, so I will be able to meet his parents in the waiting area :)

It's fun to see the changes in him in just the 2 short weeks he has been here. He is going to be a "dark chocolate" kinda guy and his face seems to deepen in color almost daily :) He is starting to stretch those newborn clothes out (although he still swims in 0-3). I can't wait to take him to the Dr. next week to see how much we have packed on him! Still looking forward to the days when he sleeps a bit longer, but this time passes quickly (in retrospect of course!) so I will *try* to enjoy those 1 and 4am feedings!

Developmental Assessment

So I think that these are totally ridiculous to do on newborns! The lady came out this morning and asked a few questions about his development, but he slept the whole time! She didn't see him eat or even awake. If something were wrong (exp. born drug addicted) the services would have been referred to the parent/child in the hospital. Oh well...at least she didn't stay the full hour. 20 minutes and she was outta here :)

Still waiting to hear about a visit for this week....I'm assumming Friday, but who knows?! Why tell the foster parent? LOL!

We are finally getting into a more regular schedule which is SO welcomed! He eats every 3 hours and is doing well with the 3 ounces most of the time. He pukes every once in awhile and I'm pretty certain he does have reflux. We'll address that with the Dr. next week. Otherwise he is doing really well :) I can tell by looking at him that he is gaining weight (slowly of course!) and is definitely going to be pretty dark little dude! He has gotten darker in the 2 weeks he's been here and still has more to go!

Learning by watching

We teach our children the response "Yes Mom" or "Yes Dad"whenever we ask something of them or ask if they understand, etc. It teaches them respect and honor for their parents. A. and I. are very good at doing this and *usually* will do things without a sour face, etc.

Today as I was homeschooling the other boys, Little Man was in the living room playing. He tends to mess with my computer a lot so I went to check on him. There he was sitting in my computer chair. The kid is 19 months and knows how to work the mouse without being taught. I told him that he would have to sit in his high chair while we finished so he couldn't get into any more trouble.

After a while he had enough of sitting in that chair (he threw everything I gave him on the floor within 1 min. so he was pretty bored). I told him that he wasn't to touch Mommy's computer anymore and to play with toys. I was approaching him to get him out of the chair and (out of habit?) I asked him if he understood me. He responded with "yes mom!" LOL!!! I had to turn away and laugh (so he wouldn't see me)! It was so cute!! I haven't required this of him yet, nor directly taught him it, but he sure picked up on it! I love it!!

Sleepy Wear

This is Little Grape's absolute favorite place to be! Not only is he close to me, but he's upright to help with the reflux. A wonderful reader gave this to me when we first got Little Man and it is the most comfortable baby carrier ever! I constantly get comments and "where can I get one of those???!!!" They are great for newborns, but also for bigger kids too!!

(ignore me in this picture...a little sleep deprived lately! Yikes!!)

Praying Baby

Caught this sweet shot before church on Sunday. I often see his little hands in this position :) Warms my heart!

Sweet relief!!!

Last night **seems** be to a turning point for our Little Grape!!!! I got 6 hours of sleep!!!!!!!! Oh Hallelujah!!!! At about 7:15 he was getting super fussy again so I gave him some Colic Calm (again..wonderful stuff!) and he was able to calm down and eat his bottle. He slept all evening (peacefully) and ate again about 10:30. He went right to sleep and slept till 1:30 when he wanted to eat again. He ate, went right back to sleep and woke up at 4:30 again to eat. Same thing...right back to sleep and slept till 7:30! I can handle those kinds of nights!! He didn't squirm in pain, he didn't cry all night...he SLEPT!

Although the colicky symptoms seemed to have subsided I still think he has reflux. It doesn't always come up, but you can tell it's in his throat.

After his 7:30 feeding he was awake and alert just watching the boys play. It was amazing :) It's so nice to see him comfortable and not in pain. The Dr. wanted me to bump his feeding to 3 ounces, but the most his little tummy will accept is 2.5 right now. Better than what was taking, so hopefully he starts gaining and gets back to his birth weight. He will be 2 weeks old on Monday! :)

Yay!

I just gotta say that I love our peditrician's office! They know me by name and were expecting my phone call (thanks Karen) because they knew we got another little one :) I was able to get his Medicaid number from them and an appt for Tuesday! Cut out the middle men and things go faster :)

He's back

Little Grape just got back from his visit with his parents. He came back with several new outfits which was nice to see, even if they are not going to fit him anytime soon and by the time they do it will be the wrong season, but still :)

He also had a Dr. appt and he is not gaining weight (still at the weight when he left the hospital 6lbs 4oz) even though he's eating all his bottles. So...I have to make an appt to see our pediatrician in 2 weeks, although that would require a Medicaid number....now I am on the hunt for that! I guess he is still on Mom's medicaid number, so hopefully I can get that next week. Even though I wrote out a note about all that I am seeing with his discomfort, lack of sleep, gas, reflux?, etc nothing was done. So...we endure these long nights until I can get into our pediatrician. You can bet I'm not waiting 2 weeks!!!

Colic

I am totally convinced that our Little Grape has colic :( It's like a switch....he is pretty much fine and sleeps/eats well during the day and then around 7-8pm he gets really fussy/gassy and difficult to console. At 6am the switch gets flipped off and he is fine again and sleeps for like 4 hours!

I tried switching him to soy and it has definitely made his dirty diapers much more regular (he was only going 1x a day) and he drinks his bottles better, but still the gas :( I also bought some really amazing stuff called "Colic Calm" which works amazingly for the really bad stuff. Last evening he was just screaming and nothing worked to stop it, so I gave him some and it was almost instantaneous! He stopped screaming and quieted and just sat there looking around. My husband said "wow..I've never seen him do that before!"

I actually got about 3 hours of sleep last night, so better than the night before, but still praying for MORE sleep!! :) LG will actually sleep better if he is laying on my chest which is great for him, but definitely makes sleeping a challenge for me!

He has a visit with his Dad first today, then a separate visit with his mom, and then the FRS is going to take him to a Dr. appt so he will be gone for a large chunk of the day. I am looking forward to a NAP! :)

Long nights

Our sweet Little Grape has had a tough time with gas the past several days/nights :( He's working on developing the suck-swallow-breathe and is constantly sucking in air. As long as his bottles are warm he will burp ok, but he still has tummy pain from the air. He has the most pitiful cry that doesn't even really sound like a cry. So...i am exhausted, but making it through!

He is having more and more alert times which is nice to see. A. said today "this baby is boring!" LOL! I guess this stage is a little boring..especially for a 6 yr old! lol!

Little Man continues to be really sweet with him! The worst thing he's done is climb in the baby seat with him! Thank God it wasn't ON him! :)

His case is being staffed today, so I don't know if I will hear how that went, but maybe??? The CPI was supposed to come yesterday before 9:30pm. Did she ever show? ?NO Did she ever call? NO! I wasn't happy. She called again this morning and is supposed to be here around 1:00...we'll see! I know she needs to see him before staffing at 3:00, so the chances are good...I think! lol!

It's nice to know it's Wednesday and there is no visit for Little Man...

Wanna play??

Little Man keeps leaving little toys wherever the baby is...hoping this "blob" will get up and play with him! LOL!

Freedom

We got a call yesterday from Little Man's GAL that the case manager had received a voicemail from Little Man's mom that they were in another state with no intentions of coming back. She said to tell [Little Man] that she loved him. DONE. I have an incredibly strong reason to believe why they left, but no proof. One thing I do know is that when we return to court on March 1st the judge will be terminating their parental rights and we will be able to move forward with no further delays, appeals, etc!!!! Little Man will have a new last name soon enough and we can't be more THRILLED!!!!

Chicken legs!

Little Grape (aka Bulldog) is doing very well!! Check out those scrawny legs! :) He is such a peanut but oh so sweet! Just a few things about our new little cherub....

**His hunger switch "turned on" last night and all the sudden he is drinking over 60ml each feeding (he was about 40-45 when he came a couple days ago).

**He scruches up his face and his forehead gets all wrinkly (hence the Bulldog name!)

**At night he is sleeping in 4-5 hour stretches already!

**He is the BEST burper I have ever cared for! He burps in about 10 seconds :) A timesaver for this mommy for sure! LOL!

**All 3 of the other boys have swooned over him and Little Man actually throws knock down tantrums when his turn is over or if he sees one of the other boys (or Daddy!) holding him.


He has blessed our home and we are tickled to have him here :)

A litttle more info

Liitle Grape's CM came over today and gave us some more details about our little guy's situation. Of course I can't share a lot, but he may not be here for too long. His dad is interested in well...being a dad, but not yet. Interesting huh? The foster family that has one of his siblings isn't willing to take the baby...yet. So...we will continue to love Little Grape as long as we get to and see where this ride takes us!

I really like his case manager. I've actually seen her at court before. The best part...ya ready?? She was ON TIME! :) She has been with this particular mother since March of 2008 :( Little Grape has 3 siblings...as of next Monday they all will be tpr'd.

He goes for his first visit tomorrow morning, Actually he's getting picked up for a dr. appt first, then he's off to the hospital to visit his mom. She is still in the hospital after a horrible c-section experience. She lost a lot blood and almost died! She is still receiving blood tranfusions and they are trying to get her back to normal.

So that's where we are....praying for another night of sleep :)

Online name

So A. likes to think of the internet names for the babies that join our family (for however long) and the verdict seems to be out still on this little guy. So far it's "Little Grape" (he tends to favorite fruit names for some reason-lol!) but I'm not sure that's gonna stick. I think we need to see a bit more of his personality! For now though, if you read Little Grape you will know who I'm talking about :)

Total Sweetness

I haven't decided what our new little guy's "online name" will be yet, but he is pure sweetness! He is a tiny guy. He came straight from the hospital. The nurses were kind enough to stock us up well with formula and diapers! He is eating every 3 hours or so...I can do that! I am thankful that I have been getting some sleep lately! I think it will be awhile before that happens again! We have no idea how long he will be here, but we will meet with his case manager tomorrow sometime after court, so maybe we'll have a better idea following that visit.

It is definitely different adding a baby via foster care vs. birth. There is no break or time off, there is no one bringing meals/gifts, there aren't as many well-wishes, no family over visiting (ours are all out of town), there is an expectation that life moves on at the normal pace...and it does! Things are going very well so far :) I tend to always have a dinner or two frozen or at least prepped. I always pre-make and freeze pancakes/muffins for breakfast and it helps to be a SAHM for sure!

Mr M. will be home tomorrow because I. has an evaluation tomorrow. Like I said...life doesn't stop! Mr. M's birthday is Friday so we may just have to celebrate a day early!!

Placement #2!!

So after almost 15 months we are accepting placement #2 today! Hubby and I decided awhile ago that we were going to open our home up to a second placement and this one kind of just landed in our laps! Our social worker called and asked if we would be willing to take a 3 day old AA little BOY :) He was going to be released from the hospital this morning and we will be receiving him this afternoon. People may think we are nuts to have 4 boys ages 6,4,1, and newborn, but we have the space, we have the love and God wants us to do it, so there! :) My good friend who has fostered lots of newborns in her first year of fostering is bringing over a bassinet for us to borrow, a bouncy seat and what leftover newborn diapers she has! I am so thankful for the support :)

More details to come....when I know them :)